I’ve spoken to a few people recently who have had terrible experiences with ignorance towards their stomas, and it’s incredibly troubling.
I think where I’m so blasé about mine I don’t think of it in negative terms, so I assume other people would be chill about me having one too.
It just doesn’t ever occur to me that anyone would be unpleasant to me because of it.
I mean, feel free to hate on me because of my personality and face, but my stoma? That’s nasty behaviour.
One of my friends was treated appallingly, in person!
She has a large following on social media, so she gets a fair amount of unpleasant comments on there from those keyboard weirdos, who seem to think their twisted views count for something…big shock for them - they don’t!
But this incident happened in real life.
Which understandably upset her deeply.
It was beyond ignorance, it was beyond comprehension actually.
Firstly why would anyone be so angry and disgusted about someone else having a stoma?
Why on earth would this person feel comfortable making someone else feel uncomfortable?
It was blatant and rude. My friend is a tough cookie and a very fabulous human, it made me so angry to know that someone would attempt to make her feel less than.
But mainly I found it very confusing because anyone, at any given moment could become an ostomite. Literally anyone and everyone.
I need to shout it from the rooftops - “Don’t be going round othering and making people feel bad for something that could happen to you in a heartbeat!”.
That’s just silly, because karma is always watching, why taunt it.
The list of reasons why people have had stomas is long, really really long.
And a lot of those people who end up with them have done so in a blink of an eye.
A bowel blockage, a twist in the colon, injury, disease, childbirth, the list is endless.
It literally makes no sense whatsoever to disrespect someone for having a stoma.
Remember that National Lottery advert? “It could be youuuuu…”
Well, that applies to ending up with a stoma as much as it does winning the lottery…and I’m pretty sure the odds are far greater on the stoma front.
I felt so sad for my friend, she’s a beautiful shining light of stoma life reality. I know she brings hope and positivity to others. So it seems so wrong that she had such a horrible experience.
People with stomas exist, get over it. People who are confident and willing to put themselves out there to bring comfort to others should be held up as the beacons of power and positivity that they are.
They have been through hell fire and back and they deserve respect and recognition for overcoming and adapting to their struggle.
As if someone who hasn’t been through hell has the right to criticise or condemn others.
I totally get people not understanding what a stoma is. I understand that some people will have a little glance, or some will even stare at the bag.
I absolutely understand that people don’t want one (who does until you need it to save your life!?). I get all of the discomfort involved in facing one, and facing life with one.
But I won’t ever accept people being vile and hateful towards the stoma community.
Nope! Absolutely not! Not having it!!
**** that ignorant *****!
…Anyway, back to happy thoughts and fun times, because that’s what I get to do a lot - because I’ve got a stoma.
It allowed me to stay alive and enjoy life (I can’t see my stoma as anything other than positive! Look what I’m still able to do on this planet because of it!).
We’ve been having a lot of fun. I love that. I rejoice in it. I’m so grateful for it.
A few weeks ago our friends from Mumbai’s daughter was in town, so we made a plan to meet up with her. She’s fabulous! We adore her.
I asked her what cuisine she’d like me to book and she said anything but Indian as she was coming straight from Mumbai.
So I thought about it, and booked French, because we love the food, and we absolutely love Brassiere Zedel.
It’s such a cool place, it’s underground but has been designed to look like it’s above ground.
It literally feels like you’ve stepped into a vibrant bistro in Paris. It’s definitely on my would recommend list.
And for central London it’s reasonably priced too.
Top from Intimissimi, Bag from Dior, Jacket, Skirt and Shoes from Maje.
Seemed like the perfect brand to wear to a French restaurant.
The food was great, the company was even better. Can’t wait to catch up with all the fam at some point again too.
And very very excitingly, when the time comes, we secured an invite to an Indian wedding.
If you know me you’l know I’m not the hugest fan of weddings in general, but there are exceptions to that rule, after all I’ve been to three so far in the last 5 weeks.
But the one I’d love to attend in my lifetime is an Indian wedding. They are insanely beautiful and a spectacle worthy of maharajah’s of days gone by.
No rush or pressure on this glorious girl. It’s just nice to know we have that to look forward to at some point.
The following day it was back to the gym to build bones.
I have no wish to get to 60, 70, or 80 and realise I should have done more to build up muscle, and therefore bones at a younger age.
The best time I should have started was 20 years ago, the second time was now.
Interestingly it’s never too late to start. Yes, of course it’s better to do it whilst younger but anyone can start weightlifting and get stronger. Although I would advise getting a personal trainer with the required experience to help individual needs.
I’m lucky as my PT has knowledge of stomas and is very careful about my hernias, all still while training me hard.
She’s taught me so much that I only have one session a week with her guidance, and the rest I do by myself.
It’s hard work, but that’s the point, it’s meant to be. But it gives me such a high after I absolutely love it.
My favourite gym day is when I go with Chris…I mean, look at us, how cute are we?!?😍😂
I had the extraordinary pleasure and privilege of taking my mum and dad on their final foreign holiday.
They decided that they aren’t going to do anymore abroad trips. The airports, the health insurance costs, the general faff of it all is just too much to consider going anywhere.
So a few months back I suggested I go with them to our house in Spain. I could escort through the airport hassle and drive them around in Spain. So that’s what we did.
How lucky am I to be able to do that! I’m 53 years old, and both of my parents are still fit and well enough for an adventure. I think that is very very lucky.
So off we went for their final flights.
I only lived with my parents in the family home for 21 years. I’ve lived the other 32 years with Chris.
So it’s very odd to step back into that situation.
We had a fun time. I booked to go out there with my mum and dad first, and Chris would follow us on. It was really good fun.
Chris and I don’t like being away from each other, and 2026 has taught me, well, both of us really that we don’t want to do that for extended periods again going forward. We’re not a “girl’s trip” “boy’s trip” couple.
I have been away from Chris lot this year. Porto, Spain, Athens, it nearly half killed me as I pined for him so much.
In fairness I made the most of Athens in June, and I did enjoy being with my friends at the association. I had a great time. But only because my friends were kind enough and generous enough with their time to keep me company.
In future, we will have a 3 night maximum of being away from home. And even that we won’t do happily. Everyone is different, and that’s okay, but this is our realisation.
Spain with my parents was great, and it was nice to show them around.
We bought our Spain house in 1999, and my mum and dad visited there about 25 years ago, and never went back.
So it was really great to show them all the changes to the house, and the surrounding area too.
The first day we were there my dad suggested ice cream for lunch. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven!!
Although, it did have me questioning where this energy was when I was 8 years old!!?
The area our house is in is great for us, it’s very rural, unspoiled, very agricultural.
It’s perfect for a fly and flop holiday.
I googled top things to do in the area, and it came up with the erosions and 9 beaches.
The beaches are stunning, but if you want more than that you really do need to go further afield.
That said, we did happen across these Roman ruins. I’d never seen them before. So that was nice. We’ve only been visiting the area for 26 years now. 🤣
So beaches it is then!
Fun fact about me, I do not like swimming costumes. I feel claustrophobic in them, especially when they are wet, and I hate having to pull up a wet costume after a pee. I am definitely a bikini gal, come to that I’m a sea wee gal. 😬😂
The famous erosions…
And beaches…
My mum forgot to pack swim wear, so I was delighted when she said she’d buy one in a shop at the beach.
The handy thing about holidaying with them was they actually like going to the beach…as much as I adore Chris, he is a bit of a moaning Myrtle if sand comes within 2 inches of him 😬😂
I was living the dream…crisps and ice cream were on the menu for lunch the following day!! What is this nirvana!!?
So while Chris wasn’t there I made the most of beach days!!
Hat from a boutique in Hampshire that I bought a few weeks back, shirt and skirt from Tesco, Bikini from M&S.
I am so much happier in a bikini. I feel like a sausage in a tight skin is a full costume.
I feel free in a bikini.
I can’t sit in the sun for too long as I have had loads of skin cancers cut out. So I factor 50 my face, factor 30 my body, and cover up for the most part. I looked an absolute treat I can tell you!
Beach day after beach day after beach day…I’ve never had so many in a row.
Bikini from Sainsbury’s
I’m very lucky in so much as I don’t give a shit what anyone may think of me with my bag out.
I didn’t go through everything I went through to let others dictate how I feel or what I do.
Plus, the beaches were pretty empty.
If you’re alive and able to enjoy yourself it’s all a win!
I’m not into carrying the weight of other people’s opinions and expectations.
Do what makes you happy, wear what makes you comfortable.
Then it was time to collect Chris from the airport. God I missed him.
Dress £7.50 from Shein, absolute barg!
With Chris’s arrival it means better adventures. I do drive in Spain, but only around our area. I’m not that great with city driving.
So I was double delighted he arrived!
Our first port of call at Spain house is a trip to Alicante.
The old town is very beautiful. The marina is too.
But for me the biggest reason to go is for El Cortes Ingles, for the Maje clothing department. And a fabulous restaurant we discovered via the Off Menu podcast.
The comedian Rhod Gilbert recommended it for a spectacular dessert, and we have visited ever since.
Shirt and skirt from Maje, Vest top from Intimissimi, Shoes from Hermes
Family 🫶🏼
The food in general is incredibly good, but the dessert? Oh my goodness, it’s heaven 🥰
My favourite days in Spain are cow days!!
The thought that someone made my friend feel less than just because she has a stoma keeps making me feel a combination of emotions. It’s infuriating, but also laughable.
I get to live this extraordinary life because I have a stoma, so do pretty much all the people I know who also have a stoma.
I travel all over the world ~ carefree and confident.
I get to dress well (in my opinion, and really that’s the only one I’m bothered about).
I get to go places, see things, eat well and really enjoy myself.
I cannot see any downsides.
It seems so futile and ignorant for someone to think themselves better because they are whole physically…when clearly they are missing something deep inside.
…And I get to do all the excitement of life with him. 🥰
He’s my favourite place on earth, he stunned me the following day by agreeing to go on a beach day.
Honestly ~ stunned!
He has sand phobia, not sure if that has an official name. But he has it.
…He even agreed to a picnic on the beach.
Bikini from Tesco, water shoes from Tropic Feel.
I bought jelly sandals for going in the sea in for Corfu. But they kept filling up with stones and grit.
I saw these water shoes on instagram and bought 2 pairs.
I trialed them on this trip! What an absolute joy!
So much better than jellies.
Great for the beach, great for in the water.
So not only did he shock me that he’d go to the beach, he even went in the sea…and, agreed to play bat and ball.
In our 33 years together we have never played a ball game. Or any other sort of beach game.
This holiday was amazing!
It was great to be a part of my mum and dad’s foreign finale.
And I had ice cream, and crisps as meal replacements, and real proper beach adventures with Chris.
A fabulous time all round.
A while back Chris and I were having lunch at Pasta Evangelist in Harrods, the seating there has a communal vibe to it.
We got chatting with a really lovely couple from New Zealand. Anyway, long story short, we exchanged details and started following each other on instagram.
While I was in Spain our new, but brief encounter friends contacted us to say they were in the UK, and did we fancy meeting up for dinner!
To which I replied “Hell Yeah!!”
So Chris booked a 7 course tasting menu at a restaurant near their hotel for the day after we got back from Spain.
Jumper and Jeans from Maje, Shoes from Chanel, Bag from Dior.
*The reason I like to visit El Cortes Ingles for their Maje department is because with the exchange rate and tax back it’s almost half the price of Maje here. Now that is effective girl maths! And not a made up ethereal one.
I’ve never bothered to try the jeans on in Maje because they all seemed very long, most shops trousers are. I’m a very heightily challenged person.
I actually went in to try on a skirt that I’d seen online, but it did kind of have the look of Miss Trunchbowl from Matilda about it. So changed my mind.
Anyway the shop assistant brought the jeans for me to try with a jumper I was interested in.
I explained that I’m sure they’d be no good to me but she said to give them a go.
Anyway, I put them on and they felt amazing and looked good too. So instead of the skirt I went for I came home with jeans I’d never thought about ever.
I also bought a couple of jumpers too, one of which I loved, but Chris said reminded him of Dennis the Menace.
I will rock that Menace chic no problem! 😬🤩😂
Bearing in mind we’d only met the couple over a bowl of pasta last year some time. for about 30-40 minutes…weirdly, meeting up with them and spending an entire afternoon, and evening with them felt like the most natural thing in the world.
So much so that we then arranged to meet up again on the Tuesday night as well.
This time taking them to our favourite restaurant in London. Chutney Mary.
We got to London a bit early so we popped to Fortnum and Mason to look around their Christmas department. I’ve done all the big ones apart from Selfridges now. I’d done the others by the end of August/beginning of September. I like to prep early 🥰.
We were out late with them on Sunday night, then out late again Tuesday night. It felt so grown up to be out on a school night!
Top and skirt from Maje, Shoes from Aquazzura.
Not only are these shoes dreamy to look at, but they are surprisingly comfortable (not a particular prerequisite of mine). Beautiful usually comes at a price. But not so with these bad boys.
I will be buying them in all the colours eventually, slowly swapping my not so comfy ones over.
We had such a fabulous time with them again.
They very kindly invited us to go to Turkey with them the following day, but unfortunately Chris has that pesky job thing (that provides us with all the fun we get to have). 🤩🥰😂
Still, it was a bit disappointing to miss out, they are so much fun to be with. We are planning on meeting up with them in Italy next year. So that’s something nice to look forward to.
I did a bit of grankitten sitting for Ben and Erin, the other day. I’m not into cats in general. But I do make an exception for this one. He’s such a little treasure.
My pet owing journey is over though.
I admire people who can keep going time and time again even after their beloved pet dies.
But my beautiful boy Percy died suddenly and unexpectedly last week and honestly it hit me like a truck yet again.
The reason I didn’t go back into dog owning after my beautiful dogs died was because I couldn’t cope with grieving all over again.
So I thought budgies would be a great idea. I felt they’d be good companions and I wouldn’t be as upset when they died because in my mind it’s not like a dog or a cat.
Well, it turns out if you love something your heart doesn’t know there are degrees of loss. It just knows that you have lost.
So I’m absolutely utterly devastated by him dying. He was such a wonderful pet.
I think the fact he’s died so young makes it far worse. I feel like I failed him.
I don’t know what happened to him. I’m stunned.
He was fine, and then he died.
Budgies should live between 5 and 15 years (although the upper end is unusual). But Percy was only 2!!
Did I do something wrong? I have no idea, I can’t think of anything.
I’m so careful and paranoid about them in general.
I spent literally thousands of pounds spoiling them, and making my home budgie safe.
I imported the most beautiful cage from an artisan craftsman in Croatia.
I replaced all my cook wear because budgies can’t have Teflon products in the house, I threw out candles and room sprays.
I never let anything from outside contaminate the house, because of the risk of bird flu.
I’m so so careful.
I’m now living in fear Gus will either die of whatever Percy died of, or die because he pines to death.
Budgies are flock animals, he’ll be so lonely.
The only saving grace is Gus is a mummy’s boy, far more so than Percy was.
Percy would come and sit on me if Gus was already there. But he wouldn’t go out of his way to be with me.
He was so much more than I thought or expected birds to be. They have actual personalities, and to be honest I’m pretty sure they have a sense of humour too.
They were such fabulous company. They filled the house with noise and activity.
And now it’s just Gus and I. I’m hoping I’ll be enough for him.
He was so sweet the night after Percy died.
He didn’t seem to want to go back in his cage. So he came and sat with us and watched Bake Off…maybe he’s a big Nigella fan like Chris is. 🫶🏼🥰
I don’t think I can put myself through the pain of losing something I love again, it’s simply awful.
Better to have loved and lost and all that but there’s no need to go out of your way to feel pain. My petting will be over if anything happens to Gus.
I was quite low all week really, I think the not knowing what happened to Percy, the worry of if Gus will be okay, was a lot.
And I know some people will roll their eyes and think “get a grip woman, it was only a bird!”.
Well, yes, he was a just a bird. But he was my bird, and I loved him.
Chris didn’t balk when I asked if we could make a start on the Halloween decor. (I think he secretly wanted to do it too. My advice is to marry someone who delights in your weirdness, but also joins in!).
So that’s what we spent our weekend doing. Our all hallows display.
it definitely cheered me up.
Especially when I said I need to make a head stone and could I use one of the spare tiles from the kitchen floor…and not only did he say yes, he then took over the making of it 🤩😂
Costco brings joy to the world 😍
Tuesday was a very special day, for two reasons;
1, it was our son Sam’s 30th birthday!! Three Oh! How is that even possible? I’m only 28 myself!! 🤩😂
Very very happy 30th to that glorious man!!
….I know, I simply don’t look old enough to have a 30 year old son!!…(well, that’s what I keep telling myself 😬🫣🤩😂).
And 2, his short story book was released on Amazon!
How cool is that!! My son, the author!
It’s not autobiographical, it’s a work of fiction, that contains some facts. So I guess it’s faction really. Plus he used his love and knowledge of sailing to frame the story.
It was a very emotional read for me for obvious reasons.
I really do think it would make a fantastic film.
The perspective of a teenager going through cancer treatment is one that should have more exposure in the world.
It’s such a difficult time for an adult to go through but there are so many layers to how awful it is for a teenager.
Sam was 13 when he was diagnosed. The isolation he endured was devastating, on top of the stress of the treatment itself.
I’m so proud of him, of both my boys, they endured trauma equally, but in different ways.
I am a very lucky person. And grateful that my boys are still here. 💙💙
