To The Manor Barn… — Gladrags & Bags

In the space of 4 days I’ve had such lovely feedback. Unfortunately in this line of raising awareness it usually means that someone is having a tough time.

But it did give me validation and reassurance that doing what I do is important. Even though it doesn’t necessarily feel like it as I write my ramblings and publish it into the universe, without really knowing of the good it does.

My poor friend had a terrible experience with some bowel issues, she’s been so poorly. With an awful extended stay in hospital after surgery.

I sent her my love and best wishes, and we got chatting.

She made me smile, she said that at one point in hospital a stoma nurse had come to discuss the topic that her surgery might result in a colostomy, breaking this news to her as gently as possible.

And my friend said “oh, okay, thanks for letting me know “.

To which the very confused stoma nurse explained that maybe she hadn’t explained herself properly, and that my friend hadn’t taken the information in fully.

And my friend replied that basically it’s absolutely fine, if I need one I need one, my friend has one and she lives the most fabulous life with it I’m not bothered in the slightest.

And I have a feeling that’s the first time the stoma nurse has ever had such a nonchalant response. 😂

I then bumped into someone today who had mentioned me to a friend because ill health had hit, and again a stoma might be needed, and they too were able to reassure them that life doesn’t have to look desperate and depressing after surgery.

So yay to getting the word out there that this stoma life is really very enjoyable. Of course I acknowledge that the path to a stoma is really really awful.

No one’s getting one for shits and giggles, if you’ll pardon the pun.

It’s a tough road, it’s a scary and traumatic one, but on the other side? Well, it’s magical.

Being alive itself is magical. It’s literally luck of the draw.

When you consider all the things that are against us being alive for long, and here we are still living, still breathing. My god it can’t be anything other than miraculous!

It’s why I don’t sit back and drift and coast. I can’t disrespect those who didn’t get this chance.

I need to be out there doing stuff to honour my friends and family who deserved so much more time here than they got.

You can have a million problems, until your health is a problem, and then you only have one problem.

Because everything is workable on apart from illness and death.

It’s why I’m trying to put things in place to be as healthy as possible for as long as possible.

I have to try, because I don’t want to spend my final moments on the planet with regrets and remorse.

I want to know I did my best, but of course, ultimately it is out of my hands. But I want my boys, grandson and wider family to know that I did my best, because I wanted to be with them for as long as I could.

I don’t ever want to feel bad about not doing enough to be the healthiest me possible. It would eat me alive that sort of feeling.

I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do drugs illegal or prescription (apart from HRT patches and testosterone), I don’t eat red meat or processed meat, I don’t eat any ultra processed foods.

I eat high fibre, high protein, cooked from scratch nutritious foods.

I go to the gym 3 times a week. I walk a lot. I just do everything in my power to keep me healthy (of course, it might all be futile and it might not work, but the only thing that matters is that I tried. I’m not in charge of what fate has in mind. I can only do my bit).

For too long I didn’t know how to be healthy. But I do now and I’m doing it with great pleasure.

Of course, the fact that I look different hasn’t escaped people’s notice, but looking different is only half the story, because I feel different now too. I feel stronger and more comfortable in my skin. I feel like being proactive has boosted my confidence too. There are no downsides.

I don’t bother with before and after comparisons, that’s just pointless in my book, because I haven’t found a magic cure, it’s not fixed in place.

If I stop doing all the things I do to be healthy I will go back to my post pandemic body. Simple as that. This is not a short term fix, this is all a long term lifestyle change.

(Fingers crossed it’s a very long term one). 🥰🫶🏼🙏🏼

Top and cardigan from Me & Em, Skirt from ATHENA PROCOPIOU, Shoes from Hermes

This skirt used to be a dress, well, that’s how it started life.

I bought it because I wanted it, really really wanted it, but I fell for the oldest trick in the book.

I literally dressed for the body I wanted, not the body I have.

It’s so very foolish.

I saw a dress from this brand on the most beautiful, waife like, willowy Sloany type lady.

And I think I fell in love with her a bit. She was spectacularly beautiful, she looked incredible, so elegant and classy.

For some reason I thought I’d give the brand a go.

Well, I’m not sure if you are aware, but I am none of the things that other lady was.

I’m short and dumpy with big tits and arse. Why I thought I’d suit a dress made for super models I don’t know.

The two dresses I bought cost a fortune too!

Anyway, I couldn’t wear it as was because my boobs were trying to escape in every direction, so I had to accept I’d made a bit of a boo boo, and had a dress maker re-model it into a skirt…and if my boobs try and escape from it now I’m in big trouble if they’re down that low! 🫣😂

I am very careful to shop for the body I have, not the one I want now.

Firstly you look more well put together if you choose clothes that flatter your figure. And secondly I don’t want to waste my money having to get things re made just so I can get a few wears out of it.

I always chuckle to myself when people say that I’m always out and about, or on holiday.

I’m not, I just post about it when I am. Most of the time I’m home alone like the mad old budgie lady that I am 🤩

And I love that as much as I love all and any adventures.

Going to a gym, feeling confident and motivated to go regularly has come as a huge surprise.

A pleasant one, but it is a shock.

It never crossed my mind to go until I found out that weight training is the best way to grow muscle mass, and in turn bone density.

In my arrogance and ignorance I thought gyms were for silly pretty boys who were obsessed with what they look like, it never occurred to me that they were building bones, along with building muscles.

Muscle mass is the biggest predictor of longevity. Strong thighs save lives. So I’m slogging around the gym trying to get my muscles mass up. This gran can!

It’s really nice actually, because on the weekends Chris comes too and I love that for us.

After Saturday’s session Chris said he had a fun idea planned, so I said let’s go! Obviously.

…and he took me to Costco, because he’d received an email saying the giant skeleton was back in stock! I wanted one last year but it sold out instantly.

They’ve obviously learned their lesson and ordered more in this time.

So this guy came home with us! Not easily, not in the box, because he’s massive. But we managed to get him in in the end. 😂

I was thinking this would be fantastic too, but as we struggled to get the skelly in there wasn’t a chance.

He is rather fabulous though.

Him and all the usual household essentials.

Chris suggested we get some lunch out. And I have been very difficult of late because I am very focused on being healthy.

I’m not restricting the amount of food that I eat, but I am restricting the type of foods that I choose.

But as Chris said, life is about balance. So I agreed to find somewhere to eat.

I don’t eat red meat, I haven’t done for 35 years. So burgers are of no interest.

But The Gourmet Burger Kitchen do “chicken burgers”. They’re not really a burger at all, well structurally they look like one, but it’s slices of grilled proper chicken breast in a bun with salad and trimmings. So that’s what I ordered.

It was absolutely delicious. I’ve not had one in about 10 years I think.

I ordered a kids sized milkshake, but I couldn’t even drink that. I had about 4 sips and gave up. I’ve retrained my brain so much so it was way too sweet for me (bearing in mind I ordered two adult sized ones in one sitting before 😬😳🫣😂).

Things have changed. I have changed. It’s thankfully never too late to make the changes.

The following day was so beautiful and sunny, that we felt like being outdoors (not hiking or anything like that, we haven’t changed that much!).

So it was a toss up between polo or banger racing, and two more polar opposites you could not get.

We chose bangers.

Top from Kate Spade, Trousers from M&S, Shoes from Hermes.

I mentioned to our neighbour that we were going and I sent her the address for it if she fancied coming along. I really didn’t think they would as it’s a bit tricky to find, but they turned up and we had such a great time.

My little friend wasn’t so keen on the noisy cars, but he loved the water truck that dampens down the course.

It’s such wildly dangerous chaotic fun.

Would I want my child to do it? Absolutely not!

Would I like to take part myself! Absolutely I would yes!

It’s ridiculously dangerous. It truly makes me believe in fate.

How can it be that these cars are hitting each other head on, or rolling at speed many times over, and yet they get out unscathed. Yes, there are rudimentary roll cages, but that’s about it.

You can have a relatively minor road accident and end up seriously injured or dead, so watching these people race makes me think that our time is up when it’s up. No matter what we have planned.

We make plans ~ and god laughs 🤩

It’s good fun. Worth a watching if you get the chance.

Children could probably do with ear defenders, as the cars are loud af.

The week flew by so quickly. I don’t even know which way is up right now.

Top from M&S, Jeans from Levi’s 723, they are dreamy, and feel like they were designed for stoma wearing (they weren’t of course, but they certainly feel like it), Shoes from Zara.

More Gym, more muscle.

Then it was time for a very special day.

My mum and I were off on an adventure to the south coast for my niece’s wedding (well, she’s actually my cousin’s daughter, but niece seems to be a better describer).

Dress from Self Portrait, Shoes from Jimmy Choo.

I bloody love this dress, it was expensive, but you get what you pay for as it’s so beautiful on.

See what I mean about dress for the body you have?

This dress compliments every aspect of mine.

I can’t wear strappy plunging numbers, it’s positively obscene if I even try.

But covered up, with a shape that suits my lumps and bumps, oh this was perfection.

The only downside was I didn’t clip the under petticoat strap in place with the press studs provided. And the strap kept slipping down and aggravating me. But other than that oversight it was a 10/10.

It’s just so classy and elegant. I wish I were naturally, but I’m a trier, a try hard even.

For me working hard to get a fabulous outfit together is a pleasure and a hobby.

I love the process.

I get that some people don’t. That’s okay too. Life would be dull if we were all alike, wear what makes you happy.

Mummy and her sisters. She has loads of them! These two are a great double act. I have spent many happy hours with them.

It was just me and my mum going to the wedding, Chris didn’t have any holiday allowance left and my dad couldn’t make it, so just me and mum went.

Which meant I had to drive us. I am not one of life’s keen drivers. But this was definitely the time to do it.

We booked a B&B near by the church and the reception venue ~ The Manor Barn ~ such a gorgeous place, and headed down.

Oh my god the drive went on for hours, I had literally no idea how big England is until I had to drive to the edge of it.

It never seems that far when Chris is driving 🤩😂

It was worth the trauma of the journey though.

Jess looked sensational. She is spectacularly beautiful, both her and her sister are, they honoured their mum so beautifully with lots of little details to include her on this beautiful day.

My cousin was robbed of being on this planet with her precious girls, she died 14 years ago, still young, still vibrant, very much deserving of being here to make old bones.

The girls, their dad and all her family were unfairly treated by how cruel life was to them.

I honestly don’t understand why there are such vile heinous people in this world - and she’s not.

She’s one of the many people we have lost over the years that makes me get up, get my arse in gear and go and live life fully, energetically, enthusiastically, with gratitude.

I cannot take for granted the luck I got. It’s all it comes down to. Luck of the draw.

I’m not wasting any of my time here. It would be criminal to do so.

To the happy couple!

It was so special watching Jess get married, she and her sister are so much like their mum, not in colouring, but most definitely in their demeanour and mannerisms.

Anita was my favourite of cousins, I have loads of them as my mum has loads of sisters. They are all fabulous people who I adore. But Anita was such a rare gem.

Not to do that thing people do when someone dies, but that woman literally lit up a room. She had an energy, a beautiful aura about her. And she was funny as fuck.

I used to hero worship her as a child, she was five years older than me, and when I got to my teen years she was so cool and wonderful.

I remember when her and her mum came to visit, and I must have been about 13 or so.

I wasn’t allowed to go to my local town centre alone, but my mum agreed that I could go with Anita. She didn’t have a watch on so her mum let her borrow her very fancy bouji watch so we knew what time to be home.

Oh my god I can still feel the reflected glory of being with this beautiful glamorous woman (teenager) and her fancy watch.

I walked ten feet tall that day.

I have so many fond memories. We all do.

The fact that she wasn’t at the wedding is utterly heartbreaking. She’d have loved it. She’d have loved Jess’s choices for her big day.

They were perfect. Her dress and veil (my favourite part of any wedding) were exceptionally beautiful.

Like Erin a few weeks ago she opted for the Spanish style veil, they really are stunning.

Her dress was so simple and elegant and absolutely gorgeous.

The whole day was fabulous! What a lovely way to spend a Tuesday!

My glorious cousin 🤍🕊️ she’d be so proud of those gorgeous girls.

I don’t drink, so I have all my “hibitions” at all times, I don’t have the alcohol infused frivolities that others do.

I dance once every decade I think. I last danced at Chris and I’s blessing 15 years ago.

But my auntie Angela brings her own intoxicating energy and joy, so if anyone would be able to get me on a dance floor it’s her, and she did!

I had such a fabulous time.

It was such an incredible day!

We drove back to our B&B in the dark (this is something I struggle with as I have astigmatism in both eyes. It makes night vision - a nightmare.

I was so het up from the day that I then couldn’t sleep. So that was a bit of a nuisance.

Well, I drove back the next day, dropping my mum off en route, we had such a lovely time together, then I made it home again.

Although I do seem to be giving catfish vibes, this is not the woman who left for the wedding the day before. What can I say, the drive took its toll 😬🫣🤩😂

3 and 3/4 hours drive there in the pouring rain, only discovering how big England is whilst I was driving to the south coast. It definitely seems smaller when I’m a passenger duchess.👸🏼

A beautiful wedding, a fab~u~lous party.

A drive back to a hotel in the dark (almost impossible for me)

No sleep (well, 3 hours)

And 3 and 3/4 hours drive on the way home

I was a wreck of a human by the time I got home. Completely and utterly exhausted.

Proof if it were ever needed that I am made for a soft life, a be-driven life, a wake me up when we get there life.

But if there was ever a reason that would make me break all my fears and rules it’s my favourite cousin’s children.

Wishing Jessica and Conrad the happiest happily ever after. 💛💛

I stopped to get something to make for dinner for Chris and I and I decided to make a casserole, just so I could have dumplings.

I needed to stodge of comfort food, also I liked the look of these carrots, which are truly the longest I’ve ever seen, surprisingly tasty too, for a novelty veg.

We needed this…

There didn’t seem any point in buying giant sized carrots and then chopping them up 😂

Comfort taken, I slipped into a coma of a sleep that night.

Then up bright and early for the gym session in the morning.

Okay, so I’m not going to look like Arnold Schwarzenegger by only doing 3 hours training a week. But it’s definitely better than nothing.

I want to maintain my enjoyment too so I don’t want to overdo it and give up.

With the new season coming I have been in search for inspiration for autumn/winter looks.

Not necessarily to buy, but to get some inspo to dress from my own wardrobe.

I’m in a skirty mood currently. So that’s what I’ve been focusing on.

That and seeing what the new season colour trends are.

Unsurprisingly the rich berries and burgundy is back in town.

They are such beautiful colours for this time of year.

I’m hoping we don’t get an Indian summer turn up, I’m ready to embrace autumn 🍂 now.

Skirts and berries are in my closet already, so rather than spend out I am aiming to shop from my own rails of clothing.

I don’t think it will come as a shock to anyone to know I have a lot of stuff. I have got to stop buying things, it’s just so hard when I really bloody love buying things!