My big fat glorious mundane life, that’s exactly as it should be.
The post that Bowel Research UK shared on their social media on Friday did really well. It was incredibly humbling I can assure you.
It has been a mission of mine since the day I started my blog (over 10 years ago now ~ at the time I was 5 years into my stoma journey) to bring a little bit of comfort and peace to those going through bowel surgery after me.
I’m 15 years of stoma-ing in total now and I don’t remember what pre stoma life was like. I am so very content with how I am.
Why did I start my blog? Well before I had my surgery I was completely and utterly traumatised by the thought of it. I really saw it as this terrible horrific thing. Something that would shrink me into submission and make me want to disappear from society.
I had no one to look at for reference, no one to show me what life could possibly look like. I knew no one who had any form of stoma as guidance.
I was so distressed, so utterly despondent.
And then I had the surgery, and I realised I had completely and utterly misunderstood what life would be like.
Okay, so the recovery from the surgery was very slow and painfully frustrating. You can’t really prepare for it, but suffice to say it’s a very good idea to accept you will have to be a patient patient.
Although I felt reinvigorated mentally from how I felt before the operation, I certainly wasn’t bouncing round the ward dancing the Macarena. Recovery isn’t linear, it is a very slow process, accepting that is half the battle won.
But I knew that once I was fully recovered the life I was going to be living wasn’t the one I had imagined I would.
My lived experience for the last 15 years has been mind blowingly good.
You will usually find me with a suitcase in hand heading off to somewhere fabulous, I very rarely sit still. I do not take life for granted and I grab every opportunity that presents itself.
I’m off to a conference this week in Porto, Portugal.
I fly off somewhere fun and fabulous at least once a month, I have been everywhere in the world I have ever wanted to go, and some that I didn’t, but went anyway…because I can.
Many years ago I was invited to join a group of lived experience patients to discuss many and various topics as part of Bowel Research UK’s Patient and Public Involvement Programme.
It was all very new to me, but I loved my time doing it for them.
In turn it led me to the volunteer position I hold now for The European Association for Endoscopic Surgery, on their Guideline Committee, as their patient partner.
I am so passionate about Patient Partnering/Involvement, we, the people who have lived it can make such a huge difference to research and development. It’s an incredibly powerful and fulfilling way to turn an unfortunate life experience into a positive.
I was so happy to help Bowel Research UK with their post last Friday, and I was so touched by the amount of positive comments and interactions the post had.
I can’t tell you how happy it made me feel to read in black and white that seeing a positive post about stoma life, and life after cancer had helped bring comfort to others. That’s what I’m here for, that’s why I happily shout from the rooftops about my life experiences.
Obviously the incredibly flattering comments and likes were a lovely little ego boost, who wouldn’t be delighted by that, but knowing that seeing someone not just surviving, but actually thriving post surgery has helped others feel more confident and comfortable about their own situation is something so special and important to me.
My blog is about living my gloriously mundane life. It shows that having a stoma isn’t the end of the world, it’s very possibly the beginning of a whole new one.
It’s important to know that there is a very real possibility that life will be no worse for the health blip, mine very weirdly, is possibly better for it, and that is the biggest surprise of all.
I often think about if people read one of my blogs and wonders “What is she on about, this is just boring day to day stuff!”
And I’d be the first to agree with that, because it is. It’s just me going about my life. That’s kind of the point.
That said, nothing that happens after cancer is mundane really, because even the stuff we class as the ordinary, is extraordinary!
I lived, I made it to another day. This is everything. I’m so happy and grateful to still be here, I will never tire of feeling elated every single day. And no, that isn’t exhausting for me, it’s powering me on.
I love every day I get, the dull days, the boring days, the full days, the exciting days, even the difficult days, because I had the privilege of living it.
That is a lot of engagement on a single post. And it was so heartening to see it was all utterly life affirmingly positive feedback. It was the same across all of their social media platforms too.
So what else has been going on? Well Chris had his first colonoscopy…I knowwwww!!
How is that even possible!!? He lives with the colonoscopy queen!!
Our sons have had more colonoscopies than he’s had. I don’t know why he has resisted my insistence for so long, but he’s had it done now. And he had 3 polyps removed, so he’s very welcome for me saving his life! 🫣😂
Can I just reiterate once again, that a colonoscopy is the only cancer test in the world that can prevent cancer.
Those polyps he had removed cannot go on to harm him, they are gone, done, vanished and banished.
Obviously I’m always happy when I hear people have been able to save themselves a whole world of future pain caused by cancer, but I can’t deny there’s a little part of me that is a bit sad and envious that I didn’t get the chance to do that.
I was regularly visiting my GPs with symptoms - quite frankly they were massive red flags for cancer - but due to my age back then they were ignored and that one little polyp (yep, that’s all it was, one polyp) that was left unchecked and unknown about grew and grew into a rather large cancerous tumour, with a bit of localised spread for good measure.
I’m happy for people who save themselves by being proactive. I’m sad that I wasn’t able to do that, even though I tried.
Thankfully I have a really very nice life, so my cancer blip didn’t take that much from me in the long term. But it really really is far better to nip anything forming in our bowels in the bud.
Bowel prep = not fun
Colonoscopy = not fun
Having polyps removed = not fun
Failing to do those things and end up with cancer = really really not ******* fun!
Chris has, finally, saved himself a lot of future trouble. Better late than never, but better than that do it earlier!
Please please if you get the opportunity have one done. Chris had recently done the FIIT test, the poo sample you post off, and that came back all clear, which makes it even more important to get the colonoscopy done.
This may sound very strange coming from someone so body positive, but I am only human, and my back fat really gives me the ick, but at the same time I really enjoy food, and lots of it. So it is what it is.
And it’s pretty inconsequential at that, I can’t actually see it day to day, and I’ll just have to cover it with a cardigan or something.
We do tend to spend a lot of time focusing on the minute things that don’t really matter don’t we.
I have two hernias and a colostomy that protrude my belly area out too, but for some reason I’m less sensitive about that than the back area. 🤷🏼♀️
For a 52 year old, overweight, colostomy bagged grandma, I really am surprisingly very comfortable in my skin for the most part.
I’ve tried different bras to try and fix it, but I think the main problem is because my bras have to be tight to hold up my ample bosoms it spills all the excess skin over the top at the back. And I have probably a bit too much of the excess skin to start with.
Top from Intimissimi, Skirt from M&S, Tights from Snag, Boots from Hermes, Coat from Max Mara, Bag from Goyard.
Exhibit A, the food 🥰
I needed to get some bits in London that I had forgotten to pick up on Monday last week. So we popped into Chutney Mary for brunch, then over to the shops to get my bits and a free cup of tea.
Just a little segue here, there is over 31 years between these two photos below.
So although I might moan a little bit about things, I am incredibly happy that after 31 years of just natural aging I’m doing okay.
I feel the best I ever have. I’m happy and content in the world and with my body.
I haven’t ever done anything to improve my appearance apart from moisturiser and sun screen…actually, that’s a lie, I had one tooth composite bonded as it was annoying me, but other than that I have just let nature take its course because I’m too lazy and cheap to do anything else.
And I find smiling is one of the best ways to look good. So whatever you wear, wear it with a smile.
The weekend is for enjoying. Neither one of us particularly likes to cook (which is a bit of a down side to being a full time housewife. I think I am probably meant to do some or something, I forget what I agreed to now!).
So we make the most of going out to eat nicer food, cooked by someone who’s actually good at it.
Dress from Maje, Boots from Hermes.
I really made myself laugh on Sunday.
I unpacked my latest Temu delivery, I had ordered a very large table cloth. I wasn’t expecting anything spectacular, because it was only £7, for a 3 metre long piece of fabric.
Anyway, it was actually pretty good, and as I was looking at it I thought “that’s so pretty, that’d make a great veil…”
So I gave it a go, and it felt wonderful, and that’s when Chris came down stairs to find me prancing around like a modern day Miss Havisham 🫣😂👰🏼♀️
Who doesn’t want to walk around like a bride. 10/10 would recommend 🥰
I was going to try and justify my behaviour, and then I realised that I don’t need to. 😂
I was enjoying myself, I think that’s pretty much it covered. Even the longest of lives is painfully short, so I’m just here for a good time.
…And really, Chris has had custody of me since I was 20 years old. So anything that’s wrong with me is down to him now I feel 😂
Top from Next, Trousers from Ralph Lauren, Shoes and Belt from Hermes.
Not every day is going to be exciting, but it is exciting to get another day.
Jumper from Michael Kors, Jeans from M&S, Shoes from Hermes
Like I said, I’m flying off again this week. January is starting my year of adventures off strong.
I’ve never been to Portugal before, so this is exciting.
I fly happily by myself, I love having the opportunity to.
Far from being trapped in a small world indoors, never venturing out, my stoma bag has opened up the chance for me to grab life.
Have a great week yourself. Keep well, much love xx