So, the new year is off to a great start.
I feel like each year I get is my best yet, and hopefully this one will prove to be the case once again.
I have plans, I have lots and lots of plans…And I appreciate the saying “we make plans - and god laughs”, but I’m always going to make them anyway.
Having upcoming adventures makes me feel alive. I need things on the horizon to look forward to.
So far I have something booked for every month until October, and I am so excited for it all.
January will include a trip to Porto in Portugal for a conference, which I’m so looking forward to, because I adore and admire the people I work for (in a volunteer capacity), and I’ve never been to Portugal, so it’ll be interesting to have a look around.
Plus Bowel Research UK contacted me the other day to ask me to update any details I’d like on a little post I did for their Auguts campaign a while back.
So I updated my age and the photos, just to keep it current and relevant.
They can always post anything I’ve agreed to for them because they are very dear to my heart as an organisation.
They were the first people to reach out to me, over eight years ago, to invite me to get involved with Patient Partnering.
I had never heard of it before then, and had no idea what it was, or that it even existed as a concept.
But taking that original leap of faith at the opportunity was one of the best decisions of my life.
Look where it’s led me!
I will be forever and always grateful to this fabulous charity.
From those first steps into the world of patient involvement I have moved beyond my wildest dreams and expectations.
I currently sit on the Guidelines Committee for EAES, and I have relished getting involved, and most definitely zooming past my comfort zone.
I always recommend for people to look into Patient Partnering opportunities. It’s so powerful and rewarding.
So what have I been up to this year so far?
Well, socialising, eating, more eating, more socialising, shopping and eating.
Imagine if I had lived the life I assumed I would pre surgery.
I expected that I’d never leave my house. I honestly thought my life in the outside world was over.
I’m not exaggerating, I’m not being overly dramatic. I absolutely, honestly believed I’d never leave my house. Like some sort of self inflicted agoraphobia.
The reality of my lived experience has been such a blessing and a privilege.
Look at me, look at my life, does this seem like a lesser version to you?
Does having a stoma seem like a burden too heavy to carry?
(Now, I’m going to be completely honest here, I do not miss my arsehole! It was the burden.
Okay, so my bowel was broken by cancer, and yes, I get it, healthy well functioning bowels are fabulous I’m sure. But even some of my friends who do have well functioning bowels don’t make me yearn to swap my colostomy back to the traditional plumbing).
An accident here or there happens to the best of bowels, and I’m just not about that life. 😂
I love my life with my stoma and I’m happy to stick with it.
(I appreciate I have no choice, but thank god my brain re-set and prefers this way to the old way!).
I really love where I am in life, and who I get to be.
Every day we wake up we get to choose how we live life, how we feel about ourselves and others.
Surround yourself with positive energy and never let the mood hoovers drag you down.
You get to decide how you feel about yourself and your life. Other people have no business imposing their opinions or expectations on you.
The amount of people who have said to me “I couldn’t live with a stoma! I’d rather die!”
And all I can think is “okay, do that then”
Just as long as they don’t expect me to feel the same way as them. Because I really really don’t. 🥰
*****
The weather has been ridiculously changeable. From ice and snow to a balmy 12 degrees in London on Monday.
Dressing for it is only okay if you study weather apps constantly 😂
Top from Intimissimi, Jeans from M&S, Shoes from Hermes
Chris and I took ourselves off for a freezing, sunny walk along the beach from Frinton to Walton on the Naze, and I feel like we walked through 3 weather fronts along the way.
Then New Year’s Day we met friends at Chutney Mary for a fabulous start to the year.
You won’t find me up and about on New Year’s Eve, but I do love a fresh start on NYD. That said, I love and celebrate the fresh start every day brings, so maybe I just like every new day rather than specifically that one.
Jumper from Ralph Lauren, Faux shirt from Temu, Skirt from Reiss, Boots are the Jumping Boots from Hermes, Bag from Goyard.
Just to be clear, I am no fan of the skin tone tights, but I’m no fan of cold legs either so needs must.
I was out perusing the stores when I came upon this gorgeous skirt, it was exactly what I had wanted.
I’d seen a pleather version on the M&S website, but it was out of stock in my size. So seeing this one, was a little serendipitous.
I was wondering if it was actually leather as it was heavily security tagged, but I didn’t have my glasses on, so I couldn’t read the label inside the skirt. I asked the shop assistant if he could check it for me.
He had a very softly spoken voice, very delicate and genteel, English wasn’t his first language.
He said “Of course I can check that for you madam”. He looked at the label and boldly stated “Yes madam it is real Farrskin leather”.
But with his accent and pronunciation it came out as foreskin, which was as much as a surprise to him as it was to me.
We both locked eyes, him blushing slightly, he quickly looked back to the label saying “hold on, hold on, no, that must be a translation error on the label!”
It was very very funny. It really tickled my fancy.
So here I am in this delightful “Fooooorrreskeen” leather skirt ~ and a better use of it I cannot think of 😂
Starting the year with some of our favourites…and James and Tanya 😉😂
The following day I was in a right weird restless mood, so we went up to London again, we decided to go (Chris chose the activity because I wanted to do something but had no clue what, so that was really helpful) to an exhibition at the National Gallery that Chris wanted to see, and then for a mooch in the shops.
Jumper from N.Peal, Jeans from M&S, Scarf, scarf ring, belt and shoes from Hermes, Bag from Dior, Coat from Marella.
Smallest mince pie in the world from Harrods cafe, it was actually the perfect size.
Sunday was a lazy morning breakfast in bed. Followed by an icy country walk, followed by a roast dinner in a country pub, there aren’t many better ways to spend a day.
Dress for the job you want, and apparently I want to be a country squire…
Cosplaying country life…
Blouse and Gilet from Me&Em, Jeans from Topshop, Boots from Dubarry, Coat from Holland Cooper, Hat from Lairds.
This ⬆️
Followed by this 🔽
…Makes for the most delightful Sunday.
The snow storm that was promised failed to show its face in Essex, even though I prepped for it, like a doomsday prepper.
I recharged all the rechargeable lamps, I replaced batteries in all the torches and candles, I even brought in the camping gas hob that I bought for this exact eventuality.
(Not that I ever plan to survive doomsday should it come. I was not made for the hard life, I was not made for scrabbling round fighting zombies for scraps. I shall go out merrily in the first wave please 🫣😂).
Give me the soft life or nothing 😂
It was cold, really cold but not thigh deep snow as I had dreamed of.
I dressed appropriately warmly for my shift at the Foodbank. I love doing good deeds, they make me feel good inside, but I do not want to be uncomfortable whilst doing it. The week before at the Foodbank I’d gone home feeling absolutely deathly as I’d been so cold during the shift.
The heating that previous week was insufficient for keeping us even remotely tepid, I was freezing for the whole morning.
So this time I dressed for the artic for the session and it paid off, plus the heating came on a bit earlier than usual.
I own ski wear even though I don’t ski, but it certainly came in handy for this shift.
After I finished there I popped to my friend who is a doctor, and I have now been fully vaccinated against all and any potential possible exposures for our trip to India.
I am incredibly fortunate to be in a position to buy vaccines. And I do, very regularly, a big believer in science here. 🥰
Jumper from N.Peal, Trousers from M&S, Shoes from Kate Spade
Monday me and my best friend headed into London, we bought each other an afternoon tea each as our Christmas gifts.
It seemed like a great idea, as neither of us want for anything so we decided on an adventure creating memories instead.
It was such a fun day!
Dress from Maje, Bag from Dior,
Boots from Micheal Kors.
Coat from Burberry
We started the day off with a little trip to try on sparkly things in our favourite shop.
I was in dropping a bracelet off for repair so we thought we might as well play dressing up and try some things on, rude not to really 😂
We are both part magpie and love shiny stuff.
Giving a few earring options a go…
…And an exorbitantly expensive ring that I can’t afford any time soon, but enjoyed trying it anyway.
Plus a very cute bracelet that was launched on Monday morning by Van Cleef, it’s the new Zodiac bracelet that matches the necklace, which I did take a shine to, and have added it to my ever increasing wish list (you know the other day I said I didn’t want anything else…well that was a bare faced lie as it turns out! I am who I am! 🫣😂).
The afternoon tea at The Goring hotel is very pleasant. It’s super quaint and very classy. And a very reasonable price for a five star London hotel.
We had a mountain of sandwiches…correction, I had a mountain of sandwiches, and Michelle just had a normal person amount. Again, I am who I am. :)
I have been dressing fairly regularly in jeans, which has lead my stoma output to slow down. So wearing a dress for the day was a great help to me, plus I am trying to do myself a favour and change into loose fitting clothes or better still, pyjamas when I get home to try and allow my output to flow more easily.
I am in outside clothes for exactly that, and as soon as I’m in to stay I change to soft and comfies.
So you know when someone tells you that you always dress so nicely, I really laugh, because mostly I’m in my pjs 🥰😂
Cardigan from French Connection, T shirt from Ralph Lauren, Jeans from M&S, Shoes from Hermes.
Cardigan and jeans as above, Top from Intimissimi, Boots from Tod’s.
Ben and Erin are getting married this year so I’m on the hunt for a wedding outfit.
I’m not sure what I want to wear as yet, but I know what I don’t want to wear, so that’s half the battle won!
I’m pretty convinced there is some sort of underworld capitalist cabal that is convincing women of a certain age that they have to dress like the Queen Mother at the opening of a new library - just because their child is getting married.
With the starting price at a very fixed and definite £700 ~ by so called “fancy designer” brands, the likes of which are only known in the realm of mother of the bride/groom dressing.
It’s all Nigel Ramsbottom and Veno Venmenti (I made those ones up but you get my point).
Women, please, I beg of you, fall for it, don’t spend hundreds of pounds on a one wear outfit, they are cashing in on our insecurities, and fears of being dressed in the same outfit as someone else (so what?! It really doesn’t matter).
Buy something you feel fabulous in, buy something that flatters your body shape, get a spray tan done, wear a great big smile and celebrate the special day…and spend the rest on a holiday somewhere lovely.
You can get a perfectly lovely dress from Primark and look a million dollars if you feel confident enough in it. Confidence is key to any outfit, if you are comfortable in your skin you will radiate it out like a beacon.
A rather clever friend of mine told me about a Facebook selling group that sells pre loved Mother of the Bride/Groom dresses for a fraction of the original cost. So that’s a great idea. She picked up a glorious outfit for her daughter’s wedding, for less than half the price the original MOB paid.
Come Erin and Ben’s big day I may very well dress from my own wardrobe, because really the day is all about them, so no one is really going to care what I turn up in, so as long as I feel comfortable that’s all that matters.
Also, as far as I know there aren’t any shops selling very exorbitantly expensive father of the bride/groom outfits.
The outfits below are ones that I very seriously considered.
They are beautiful and reasonably priced, and a recognisable brand.
Classy, elegant, absolutely classic, without being too Queen Mothery.
I especially loved these two dresses below from Harrods.
And I did very seriously consider them for the day. But I think I’ve since decided against them now.
I have a wardrobe of incredibly nice clothes that I already own. So I will get spray tan, and choose one of them I imagine.
Or, orrrrr, now hear me out…
Isn’t that a show stopper!! 😂
It’s Ben and Erin’s big day. Very happily I am a bit part character. So I will choose accordingly.
I’m so excited for them to celebrate the beginning of their new adventures together. It’s going to be such a special day. 🤍🤍
Have a fabulous weekend, keep well, stay safe and don’t fall for sales pitches from shop assistants 🫣😂
Xx