A Nata in Porto — Gladrags & Bags

Buckle up, it’s a long one, and forgive me if you follow me on social media, as you’ll be familiar with this story already, but the rest of the blog is worth hanging around for.

Here goes ~ I had the funniest interaction the week before last week.

In a completely surreal invisible string theory way.

I just popped to my dry cleaners, like I do every week to drop off my ironing and bits.

It was just me, the two owners, their daughter and their window cleaner in there.

Anyway, Claire who runs it picked up the dress I was dropping off for dry cleaning and said “That smells amazing, what perfume were you wearing when you wore it?”

And I said well, it’s definitely one of 3 because that’s all I use, so it’s either Louis Vuitton Ombré Nomade, Penhaligans Helfetti or it’s Baccarat Rouge, I can’t remember which and my nose was a bit blocked so I don’t know.

…and she said “oh I’ll have to have a look, it’s our wedding anniversary next month so maybe I could have it for that!”

I said “oh, how funny, it’s my wedding anniversary next month too!”

She said “on Valentine’s Day?!”

And I said “errr, Yes, actually it is!”

And she said “We’ve been married 30 years this year!”

And I said “Whaaaat! So have we!…where did you get married?”

And she replied “Langtons in Hornchurch”

To which I exclaimed in shocked disbelief “Fuck Offffffffffff!!!?!??! So did we!!!”

And we both started cackling and screaming “No way!! Absolutely no way!!

Bear in mind we are standing in Braintree, a town 45 miles away from Hornchurch!!”

Anyway, it turns out they were the next wedding following us, we were at 2.30, they got married at 3.

(Some people who read this post were questioning the rapid speed of ceremonies, and I can only assume that they have never been to a registry office wedding before).

So it’s highly likely we crossed paths on the day, and are probably in the background of each other’s wedding photos!

They went on to the Moby Dick pub for their reception, and we went to Chris’s mum and dad’s living room for a home made finger buffet…And very nice it was too!

It’s pretty unusual for anyone to be married 30 years these days, plus the same day is pretty unusual, but specifically Valentine’s Day is very very unusual, and in the same place, half an hour apart is freaky.

The window cleaner made me laugh, he said “honestly, You look the least likely person to swear and you just said the F word!!”

Bless him, looks are clearly deceiving because I don’t actually stop, but what a lovely compliment anyway! 😂

I exchanged messages with my dry cleaner all that evening, we had so many things and places in common.

We also both attended the same college (college, not university (it’s different in the UK to other countries), don’t get excited, I’ve not been hiding some genius brain from you all this time), but it got weirder, as we both did the same NNEB Nursery Nursing course - at said same college, having been taught by all the same tutors.

We gave birth in the same hospital. We had been to so many places the same, criss crossing over in our lives unknowingly, until I started using their dry cleaning services a few years ago.

Life is full of surprises and incredible coincidences.

I was 22 when we got married, I must have been wise beyond my years, because although we were absolutely broke, living in Chris’s mum and dad’s spare room, and things were pretty tough going, I had this feeling that life with Chris would be incredible…and I was right.

When I met Chris he was unemployed, car-less and living with his parents, but he had beautiful eyes…and I felt he had potential…and I was happy to wait for it.

(In fairness his eyes are very beautiful, so maybe that’s what swayed me).

Thirty two years after we first started dating, and 30 years of marriage later he is still my favourite thing to do.

Thirty two years together sounds like a long time.

But it’s been the best time, with the right person time together feels like a minute and forever all at the same time.

When we first met I was in a brunette phase, having started out life blonde, well, technically mousy blonde, and then gone through orange, purple, jet black, then brunette, I then went back to blonde.

I feel so lucky that we have had this amazing adventure together. I am grateful every day ~ for every day.

In the beginning of time…

So that was the first fun thing for that week, and a lovely walk down memory lane.

Then I popped on to instagram (…oh who am I kidding, in truth I’m never not looking at instagram, it’s almost a full time job, just scrolling endlessly). Anyway, I had a look at the posts I’d done for Bowel Research UK and they had performed extremely well on all their social media.

Lots of engagement for BRUK, lots of kind and supportive messages for me.

What a boost for the soul…and let’s face it, my ego.

Of course I was delighted that I could bring some awareness to stoma life, and also be able to share my personal experience and feelings about my very happy colostomy journey.

It is not the worst case scenario, it is not the end of the line, it is not the worst outcome, it’s actually really bloody brilliant!

It helps that I am a positive person…about my stoma (I have nightmarish levels of health anxiety about all other aspects of life. I have a huge fear of pain, random illness and dying in general. But weirdly zero anxiety about stoma-ing).

That bit I’m at ease with, that bit I prefer to the old fashioned plumbing. I am beginning to wonder if I’m just incredibly incredibly lazy, so much so I can’t even face the thought of the effort of having to make time to go and poo.

Much like a guinea pig, if I’m awake, I’m pooing, I don’t have to get involved or do anything for it. I change my bag and I’m ready to start again.

It’s pretty unusual to get 100% positive feedback, there’s usually one **** lurking in the shadows, but, no, all lovely, all supportive.

Most sharing either their own experiences with stomas, or thoughts on stomas in general.

It’s on their instagram…

And their facebook…

I have been able to use my own social media platform to show the positive side of stoma owning for years now, it’s why I started the account to begin with.

A while back I posted this photo on my twitter account.

There are over thirteen thousand likes, and 663 comments - 99.9% positive…

…And one random man saying I should ask Matt Perry what he thought of his stoma.

I don’t need to ask him about his, as he documented his experience very clearly in his autobiography. He did not cope well with his, he did not find any positives to his. He loathed and resented his, although he did agree it saved his life at that time.

We are very different people, with very different personalities and life experiences. There will always be different experiences because we are all unique.

It’s very sad that he never found the peace he needed.

What I am most proud of with that post is the fact that over four hundred and twenty nine thousand (429k) people saw my post. Some of those people would not have known anything about stomas before they saw my post, and now they do.

The more we normalise it, the more normal it becomes. The less stigma there will be.

I document my own experiences with my colostomy life, how nice to be able to add a little bit of comfort to someone else’s life. How nice to be able to give that reassurance that life doesn’t have to be shite after stoma surgery.

I feel incredibly privileged to be able to say it out loud that I love this magical life I get to live, solely because of the surgeons who created my colostomy, and a plastic bag attached to my abdomen.

I will never stop bringing awareness to this cause.

So get ready to see me in a bikini at 102, still shouting from the rooftops, still travelling the world, still loving life, still too lazy to contemplate a reversal.

*Just to be clear, as the science stands right now, it will never be possible for me to have a reversal. My stoma has always been a permanent fixture. But if I’m planning on living to 102 I’m assuming some sort of AI arsehole would have been invented by then.

Of course it’s very easy for me to be completely at peace with myself, and my body because I have a very well behaved stoma.

Would I be so content were that not to be the case?

No probably not, but I’d like to think I’d still try and make the most out of life, but who knows.

Top from Intimissimi, Cardigan from Me&Em, Trousers from Ralph Lauren and Shoes from Hermes.

So this year’s travels have started already.

This time I went to Porto in Portugal for a conference with the committee I’m on for EAES.

I’d never been to Portugal before, but I absolutely loved it! I will be going back again at some point.

Bearing in mind that it was absolutely pissing down the entire time, and I spend a lot of time by myself at these events, I still really enjoyed it.

Our hotel was down by the river, it was really nice. But if you are going to visit Porto I’d suggest booking a hotel in the city centre, so you don’t have to factor in the many steps up to the city from the riverside.

They are a killer! Well, technically they’re probably really good for you in the long run, but I’m not used to hills, so I found it a little challenging.

Top from Intimissimi, Jeans from M&S.

I had a bit of free time before the meeting, so I took myself off into the city.

I did something that I very rarely do, but it just felt right. I stopped for a hot chocolate and a pastel de nata.

I don’t usually eat alone, I’m not very comfortable or confident to do so. But when you are on your own you kind of have to push your limits.

Plus I have given up hot chocolate for the most part. And on top of that I’m not that into nata’s. They are Chris’s favourite cake, but I’ve never been a fan of them.

But this little cafe was so lovely, I think it’s called Nata - sweet - Nata. It was pouring with rain and I was getting soaked through so I thought I’d stop and get out of the rain for a bit.

They were so friendly and welcoming, the nata were fresh from the oven. Honestly they were heaven. So much so that when the man suggested “one more?” I said yes immediately.

Then I headed on to what I’d started my expedition for to start with. When I’m in mainland Europe I stock up on the cashmere tops from Intimissimi.

They are so much cheaper on the mainland.

Plus I did some sightseeing too, it’s never as much fun when you’re alone, but it’s a very beautiful city to walk around.

I felt perfectly safe walking around, I think the torrential rain keeps the weirdos at bay.

Just to show you how hilly it is, I found an out door escalator!! I’ve never seen one before.

Sadly, it wasn’t working, much to my disappointment.

Back at the hotel I unpacked my haul. I bought the face cream I use as well as it’s about £30 cheaper in Europe. I had to dry it all off as the rain seeped into all the paper bags.

I then re-showered and re-washed my hair as I looked like a little drowned rat after my trek out.

Then it was time for the committee meeting, and then straight out to the dinner.

The meetings in person is great for a good natter about upcoming projects. Which is especially important for me to get everything in order. I’m not exactly good at the paperwork side of things.

I feel incredibly honoured to have been invited and welcomed into this association. These people are the best of the best, and they have been so kind and supportive of a muggle like me.

Patient Partnering isn’t that new a concept, but it’s still not a widely used one. So I am incredibly grateful to have been able to get involved.

It’s so important for patients to get involved with this sort of process. Surgeons do their part very well, but they lack the emotional, lived experience that we have.

Keep an eye out for any patient partner/participation opportunities, you have vital information to add.

I’ll be posting about next year’s topics at some stage and I’d love for you to join us.

Top from Intimissimi, Gilet and Trousers from Me&Em.

Then it was off out to the fancy dinner.

A more generous, kind bunch of people you could not hope to meet.

The meal was delicious, the restaurant was so cool. It’s a port-ery (or whatever somewhere that makes port is called).

Port is a big thing here so I don’t think it’s a huge leap to assume that’s where the name comes from.

The next day I was heading home in the late afternoon. Actually I fucked the time of the flight up completely and got to the airport about 4 and half hours too early.

But seeing as at one point I had an actual panic attack, because I thought I’d missed my flight, I wasn’t that bothered by being so early.

I am not a strong independent woman…I was the woman at the terminal crying down the phone to Chris because I couldn’t find my flight on the boards.

It turned out I was looking at the wrong ticket.

Jumper and Trousers from Ralph Lauren, Faux blouse from Temu, Shoes from Hermes

I wasn’t planning on doing any more sightseeing, but one of the lovely surgeons suggested if I had time to visit a beautiful bookstore that was quite close (but up those pesky stairs again).

I thought it would be a shame to not go while I was in the area.

Anyway, it is indeed very beautiful. I was surprised that you have to pay €12 to get in, but in fairness it was full of Instagram girlies taking photos, and not exactly heaving with actual paying customers, so you can understand the entry fee.

Plus you get the €12 off of a purchase of a book. So I bought a book on Porto to read at my leisure.

It’s not a restful experience, even with a ticket system it’s rammed full, but it’s a stunningly beautiful shop.

Having decided I do actually quite like nata’s I made a stop at what looked like a very nice cafe, full of local people.

Those travel adventury people always bang on about getting down with the locals.

…turns out I do not enjoy the nata of the local people because this one was horrible, in both taste and texture, and I couldn’t eat it, so that’s saying something.

Back at the hotel I had to take my trousers off and try and dry them with the hair dryer before heading off to my flight home.

It’s a bit of luck I did dry them off a bit as Porto airport is one of the coldest places I’ve encountered…and I’ve been to Iceland. 😂

I did make myself laugh. Having had a very distressing experience thinking I’d missed my flight, I decided that buying 6 china plates was a really good idea.

Just to be clear, it really isn’t.

I had such a battle to get them home in one piece. The bag disintegrated on the plane and I had a really difficult time of carrying 6 plates, and hand bag and a suitcase. I will return to Portugal, perhaps with a car next time.

I love Bordallo and have lots of their crockery already. So these additions were perfect.

I bought Chris some Portuguese nata too.

Saturday we had to pop in to London and pick up some bits that had been in for repair. So we made a day of it.

The weather in London was perfect. And weirdly much warmer and drier than Portugal. I doubt that happens very often.

Top from M&S, Skirt from Reiss, Tights from Tesco, Boots from Hermes, Bag from Dior.

We had such a lovely day out.

While I was in town I spotted an outfit on the mannequin in Maje.

I fell in love with it on her (it? what do you refer to mannequins as?), but I felt it would probably look shite on me. But Chris insisted I give it a go, and I’ve got to be honest here…I fell in love with it on me too!!

It’s adorable! It’s cross between my all time greatest fashion inspiration - Princess Diana, Laura Ashley circa 1986, and Jenny Agutter in the Railway Children, all rolled into one.

…And what’s not to love about all that!!

There are many different ways I can style these things. So I feel I will get my pounds per wear from them.

I love a bit of summer nautical.

Then Sunday we had such a chilled morning, then went for a roast dinner, then home to watch films and eat nata…I’m getting quite into them now apparently.

Top from The White Company, Cardigan from Me&Em, Jeans from M&S, Shoes from Hermes.

Warmed up in the oven they are delicious.

I also got round to styling my new plates. It turned out beautifully.

I’ve been wearing my new tops, they are so cosy I definitely would recommend getting some if you are in mainland Europe.

They cost £45 in England. They cost just under £30 in Europe, plus you can do the multi buy option and get more money off.

Top from Intimissimi, Jeans and Shoes from M&S

I spend most of my time either researching, talking about, or eating fibre. I am obsessed with the stuff. And one of our fairly new additions to our fibre family is Gigantes Plaki, a Greek butter bean dish.

It is exceptionally good. It’s meant to be baked but I know I’d burn it if I tried (plus I read the recipe wrong so there’s that).

This is such a great meal. Add some feta or other protein of choice and you have a very nutritious meal.

This weekend was pretty quiet. We had a few things to get done, but all pretty chilled.

Top from Intimissimi, Skirt from M&S, Tights from Snag, Boots from Hermes.

I often struggle to dress well, I know that might come as a surprise, because I’m always dressing up. But I have two hernias and a stoma to take into account. Which isn’t always easy. Collectively they add bulk to my middle and I’m very conscious of it.

But the same with the back fat bulging over my bras, it is what it is. I just have to make the best of it that I can.

If a stoma can’t stop me loving life I hardly think a few bulges will.