A decade in the making… — Gladrags & Bags

posted 29th for editing purposes).

So here we are, December 30th 2025, which means that I have been writing this blog for a decade now!

A decade!!

Ten years of writing about my experiences of stoma life, of places I’ve been, of clothes I’ve worn.

Ten years of showing the world that having a stoma most definitely isn’t the end of the world, and in fact, surprising as it sounds, quite the opposite.

Ten glorious years of making new friends through this blog, what a joy that has been.

I am 15 years into stoma life, and so set in my ways that I have zero desire to return to the whole anus, rectum, bowel extravaganza.

(I appreciate that it’s easy for me to say because I have no way of going back, my stoma was always going to be a permanent fixture, but I am incredibly comfortable in my skin with a stoma. I am confident and feel completely at peace).

And that’s why I started writing my blog to start with. To show the up sides to something we generally only see the negatives of.

It would be wonderful to have perfectly behaved bowels, but if they don’t it’s not the end of the world, it’s the beginning of a new one!

I fly somewhere wonderful 11 or 12 times a year - the pre cancer diagnosis me didn’t fly anywhere for eight years.

So let’s see what life is better? Errrrr, the travel-ly me is kind of loving the freedom my colostomy has brought me. 🤩😂

Do many people with working bowels get to travel this much?

Okay, so given the same opportunities I’m presented with they may well do, but my point stands, that life with a stoma is far from being an isolated, desolate wasteland, just sitting home alone waiting for god.

And more importantly to me (this won’t be the same for everyone) I am able to dress well, in a way that makes me feel happy and confident.

I wanted to do something to try and help others. Mainly because I know how fearful and traumatised I was when I was told what surgery I needed to have done as part of my cancer treatment.

I wanted to provide a free tool for other people to use, to possibly help them feel more confident too.

It costs me about £150 a year to have this blog up and running, and I do that willingly because I know I have the ability to make someone else feel more at ease about their situation.

Hundreds of thousands of people have read my blogs, and I have had hundreds of people contact me to chat all things stoma, and that makes me feel so happy and proud.

I am so grateful to anyone that reads my ramblings, and so very very happy when they have contacted me to share their experiences and thoughts too.

Together we can make life better for everyone. Together we can show the world that life can be good.

Not everyone’s experience of stomas will be a positive one. But it’s equally important to remember that not everyone’s experience of life without a stoma is a positive one too.

Life is what it is, even the longest life is so painfully short - and sweet if we’re lucky. So I am determined to make this one count.

Writing this blog led me to my volunteer role in Patient Partnering/Participation.

I am so very happy that I took the leap of faith about eight years ago when I was invited to a meeting with a bowel cancer research charity in London.

I had never heard anything about patients working alongside medical or research professionals before. But someone contacted me on instagram and invited me along to a meeting.

So I went, and I kept saying yes to any invitation along the way.

And now eight years later, I am a member of the Guideline Committee for a different organisation ~ EAES.

It has been incredibly fulfilling, rewarding and humbling to be a part of this prestigious group of amazing people.

Patient Partnering is a relatively new concept, but it’s so beneficial for everyone involved. They get an insight into the lived experiences of their patients, and we get to channel something that very probably was a traumatic experience, into something incredibly positive for future patients. And that is a powerful feeling.

Please keep an eye out any future projects that you may be interested in attending.

Onto the action part…

Our Christmas has been a blast! I did more in the build up to it than I usually do…and I won’t be doing that again because I’m now down with a rotten cold, that I probably picked up in the run up to Christmas Day.

But at least we had all of our Christmas celebrations in good health, which is the main thing.

Top from French Connection, Culottes from M&S, Shoes from Hermes

Top from Bella Freud at M&S, Jeggings from Tesco, Shoes from Tod’s

Top from Ralph Lauren, Jeans from Holland Cooper, Shoes from Dior.

My friend lovely Claire has recently introduced me to the concept of buying clothes from the children’s wear department in Ralph Lauren.

I was out shopping the other day and I said I wanted a particular design T shirt and that I couldn’t find what I was looking for.

Claire said “have you looked in the children’s department?”

And I replied “Claire I adore you but have you seen the state of me I can’t fit into some adult’s clothing so how would children’s wear work!?!”

She said try it and see, and I did, and it does!! 🤣

Fake shirt from Temu, Jumper from Ralph Lauren (children’s wear), Jeans from Holland Cooper, Boots from Valentino.

Top and Leggings from M&S, Shoes from Hermes

We headed out to our regular pilgrimage to Anglesey Abbey for their Christmas display. It’s absolutely magical. We started going about 5 or 6 years ago now and now it’s just part of our Christmas tradition.

Top from Intimissimi, Skirt and Tights from M&S, Boots from Gucci, Bag from Goyard.

Coat from Max Mara, Hat from Lairds.

Because this house was lived in it’s always beautifully decorated at Christmas time, in accordance to the previous owners wishes when he donated it to the National Trust.

With his original decorations, and it’s absolutely stunning. It brings back lots of childhood memories and nostalgia.

I started decorating my own retro tree, with original vintage 1960s, 70s and 80s decorations because of our visit to the abbey.

Before we headed out to Anglesey Abbey I had contemplated asking Ben if he fancied coming along too as Erin was back in Liverpool having pre Christmas with her family. I then realised that he wouldn’t really want to go and look round a stately home on, so I decided not to.

Imagine my delight when Chris and I turned up to the restaurant after our abbey trip to find Ben sitting waiting patiently for us. What a treat, what a lovely surprise.

Me and my baby boy.

I very much appreciate that he didn’t arrive in the world at this size ~ not far off it mind you ~ but I often wonder how in the world did I manage to create something this big…and more to the point, if I was capable of making someone else this tall why couldn’t I have put a bit more effort in my own creation 😂

Okay, so being short has some advantages, like my new realisation I can shop from the children’s wear departments, but other than vat free shopping I can’t see any pros for being a short arse.

I’ve been experimenting with the new Ai function on instagram stories lately It’s actually pretty good.

We have been out and about so much more than we usually do.

Usually I’m at home hiding from contamination from mid December (with good reason as it turns out).

T-shirt from Ralph Lauren (children’s department), Cardigan from French Connection, Jeans from Holland Cooper, Boots from Dune.

I bought these boots just before we went to Paris as I was looking at the weather forecast and it was pretty rainy, and I didn’t want to ruin any of my good footwear. I have a whole room full of clothes and shoes, that for the most part aren’t designed or suitable to be worn in the hemisphere I live in.

Anyway, it was a wise choice to buy a cheaper pair of boots to wear as it did rain and they did get pretty ruined. I have washed them five times to get the staining out of the suede. Rather them than a good pair.

We went down to visit Milly, Sam and Zak for a pre Christmas get together, and Zak is also enjoying my revelation of dressing from RL children’s wear. 🤩

I bought us all matching T Shirts for Christmas. We’ll all look adorable.

I bought a lot once I discovered I fit in them.

Fake blouse from Temu, Jumper from Ralph Lauren (children’s wear), Leggings from Tesco, Shoes from Hermes, Bag from Dior.

I quickly popped round to Kim’s to see the girl’s Christmas present…

Guinea pigs!! What little love bugs they are too. Would recommend.

Then Christmas Eve morning I did my shift at the Foodbank, and came straight home put my pjs on and laid the table for Christmas Day.

I don’t usually go out in the world so close to Christmas, but it was the right thing to do. I lead a charmed life, so it’s incredibly important to me to pay that forward.

Table dressed, me dressed 🖤

Dress from Aspiga, Boots from Hermes, Tights from Snag.

I don’t really like flesh colour tights but they are a necessary evil in winter, plus it’s great for covering my leg where I injured it when I fell over a few months back, the scarring is quite bad. The pain is still bad too for that matter. There is a chance I did more damage than I first thought judging by the swelling and bruising and pain I’m still suffering from some 13 weeks later.

But tights evens out all irregularities.

We had the most fabulous Christmas Day!

But I did do something in the build up that keeps making me laugh now.

I created a little script in my head that no one else was aware of. If only I’d kept it inside.

🫣😂

Any normal person would assume, and believe that the Hermes boots bought for them on a magical trip to Paris was the main and only present, and quite rightly too!

Bear in mind I get spoilt rotten throughout the year anyway, so really, an extravagance at Christmas simply isn’t necessary.

Well, I’ll let you into a little secret, I love stuff!! I love experiences too, but I bloody love stuff, the shinier the better!

Anyone who says money can’t buy happiness is lying. Of course it can, come shopping with me and I will show you.

*(I completely understand it cannot buy good health necessarily, although for the most part it can buy good healthcare and that’s pretty much half the battle won.

Rogue genes aside, having money with that access to science and technology - when it comes to medicine it’s a pretty important factor in survival).

So I will always admit, I’m shallow - and love stuff. I’m literally here for a good time. And my idea of a good time is stuff and places.

I’m also a nightmare for not being able to delay gratification.

Ever since I can remember being alive I have searched out presents, and snuck a peek inside. I prefer to think of it as being delightfully inquisitive rather than criminally nosey.

Every year I open gifts I find hidden, I have a look and then reseal them, some of my earliest memories are of this very activity.

I could try and excuse myself for my shortcomings, but I’m actually okay with them. 😂

I don’t like surprises, but love surprises! What the actual **** is wrong with me? I mean, where would we even start with that conundrum?

So when I happened to go into Chris’s dressing room the other day and saw a very enticing looking box tied up with ribbon my brain immediately thought it was a surprise gift for me.

And for the first time in my entire life I decided to do the right thing. I chose, against my instincts and powerful desire not to peek inside, and not ruin the surprise Chris had clearly planned.

All reason and logic went out of my mind, for example, why would Chris leave anything lying around knowing I can’t be trusted not to poke and pry?

Well for five long days I left the gift be. My sticky little fingers didn’t even touch the outside of the beautiful presentation box…

Until that is I couldn’t contain my excitement any longer, and I said to Chris “you really shouldn’t leave temptation in my way”.

He was, quite rightly as it turned out, completely confused. So I took him into his dressing room and pointed at the box.

I looked at him, he looked at me, I then turned back to the box, pointed again, and looked back at him. Not a word spoken, like a scene from a silent movie.

He then he said “what?”

So I said “The box ~ my surprise present!”

And I saw my expectation dawn on him and he burst out laughing and said…

“That’s the box Erin’s engagement ring came in, you remember, it was too big for him to hide in a suitcase so he just took the ring box that came inside the presentation box…and more importantly than anything, you put it on that shelf back in May!!”

I only did as well!! And in my lead up to Christmas mania for getting something sparkly I completely wiped any memory of it from my mind - and created a whole new reality.

So that was a humbling day! 🫣🤣

Plus, and this is why it was so utterly ridiculous to start with I didn’t even have anything in mind! It’s not like I’m lacking for anything.

Unusually for me I hadn’t asked for, nor desired anything.

I would normally around this time of year drop hints, but having got the boots I’d wanted for a very long time I was completely satisfied. So why I created this little scenario in my head I have no idea.

It really made me laugh, especially when I remembered I put the box there and I have walked past it any time I’ve been in that room since May 🫣🤩😂.

Can you imagine if I hadn’t said anything and come Christmas Day not being presented with the exciting shaped box…

It would have been like that scene in Love Actually where the legend that is Emma Thompson gets the Joni Mitchell CD instead of the necklace she had discovered.

…I desperately tried to get a copy of the best of Joni Mitchell delivered in time for Christmas Day but it was out of stock…

Which really ticked my fancy!

Christ alive! Were people buying it for real?

Anyway, other than creating alternate universes I had a lovely time. Chris did buy me some really lovely surprises. Which were incredibly thoughtful. He’s really nice you know. I may well keep him 😍🤩😂

One of my surprise gifts was this beautiful scarf, which matches my coat to perfection. It couldn’t have been better. I was absolutely overjoyed with it.

I said to Chris that it had been such a perfect day, all that could really complete it was snow.

So I went on instagram and made my own. I’m pretty good at inventing things and Ai is really helping that!

Look at the foot prints in the snow, matching the shape of my boots perfectly, how utterly brilliant is that! I’m thinking I don’t really need to go anywhere anymore. I can just create something online. 🤩😂

We had the most fabulous day!

Ben and Erin spoilt us rotten, I did tell them they were naughty to do so, but when I think about their gifts I wouldn’t know which one they shouldn’t have bought us!

This mug made me laugh so much!

If you are a regular reader of my blogs you’ll know there is a gorgeous little tavern on the beach in Kerasia, Corfu where the staff refer to me as Prawn Lady…

Just to explain to non regulars, not because I smell of prawns (although, who knows, maybe I do 🫣🤣), but because I ate my body weight in them over the course of a week, and then when I went back six months later and they remembered me… and greeted me with “It’s Prawn Lady! She’s back!” 🤩🤣

Boxing Day we decided to carry on the tradition that Chris and I started last year, and booked to go to Chutney Mary.

We knew from the previous year that London is super busy over Christmas.

There are a surprising number of shops open on Boxing Day, which is a bank holiday in England, but I’ve learned is not a thing in the USA, which must be weird. Just Christmas Day off and then back to work the following day.

I appreciate that I’m very spoilt because Chris, the boys, and most of our friendship group are in construction, which in the UK shuts down for the Christmas and new year period. Chris is off for 16 days this time, which is heaven.

I didn’t go shopping shopping on Boxing Day as I didn’t need to, and it was very people-y, but I did go and pick up my watch after it had been in for a service and new battery, so that was handy.

Suit from Self Portrait, Boots - Jumping - from Hermes, Bag from Jimmy Choo.

This guy 😍😍😍😍

The food here is some of the best Indian food I’ve ever had, and most definitely the best outside of India.

Again, we had a fabulous day. I never take any of these moments for granted. I live very much in the now - with appreciation and gratitude, I will make a point to stop and take it all in.

Then the next day we had all the gang back together on December 27th, our usual Boxing Day gathering just not on Boxing Day.

These people are the very best life has to offer, and I’m incredibly thankful and privileged that they like me enough to want to be my friend.

Its always somewhat surprising when I discover people like me. 🫣😍😂 I just automatically assume people either don’t like me at all or are just about tolerating me 😂