The weekend before Ben and Erin’s wedding was pencilled into be a quiet one. But unfortunately I got too fidgety so Chris arranged a day out in London. But with a difference to our usual schedule, basically the same but with no shopping.
We have membership for English Heritage so he did a bit of research and came up with a plan.
Shirt and Shorts from Ralph Lauren, Bag from Tory Burch, Shoes from Hermes.
We went into London via the Elizabeth Line from Brentwood (not my favourite route into London, and probably one we’ll not do again).
We got off the train at Tottenham Court Road, and walked, and walked and walked. We had done nearly 25 thousand steps by the end of the day.
Which always makes us laugh. Put us in a city and we’ll walk until we fade from exhaustion.
Take us to the countryside, and we’d be like a rabbit in the headlights.
Where would we go? Where would we eat? Where would we pee?
For us it’s way too much stress for a supposedly low cortisol activity.
Cities are our thing.
First stop, The Jewel Tower (English Heritage).
And a walk round Westminster in general…
Then over to St James park to see the new baby pelicans.
We only discovered there were pelicans in the park in 2022 when we were taking our Ukrainian lodger, and her baby, to pick up some paperwork from the British government.
We were walking past Buckingham palace to show her the sights when we saw these giant birds. I thought they’d escaped from a zoo, but soon discovered that they live in the park.
They were gifted to the country 200 years ago by some Russian aristocracy or something.
Not sure if they were being topped up via other means all that time, but these are the first babies born there in a hundred and fifty years.
So I really wanted to see them before they grew up. Turns out I needn’t have rushed, as they don’t hit maturity until they are 3 years old.
Pelicans are very very ugly…so ugly they are into the cute ugly field.
They are very much like dinosaurs, I would highly recommend a visit to see them. I watched them fascinated for ages.
There was an adorable silly goose who kept photo bombing people’s pelican pictures.
She seemed all too aware there were cameras on her.
Then from there we walked to Hyde Park Corner, to visit Wellington Arch, again, it’s an English Heritage site, and one we hadn’t done before.
Definitely worth a visit if you’re around that way.
This police horse was being a silly goose himself, because apparently he knew it was his lunchtime! 😂
Then we walked to Harrods for lunch and a pee. Because they are my two main concerns in life.
From there we walked to the new Hermes store in New/Old Bond Street.
It only opened a few weeks ago. It is sensational! The refurbishment is spectacular! An actual work of art really.
Not much floor space, and god knows where they store the stock. But the interior is pretty incredible!
Not sure if it’s the vibe they were going for but it did remind me of Diagon Alley from Harry Potter world (I can’t bear anything HP related by the way, but I have experienced it because I had children who loved it).
The day was long and hot. Europe is hot as hell currently, including England. Unfortunately we are not set up for scorching weather here.
We have no home air con for the most part and all the reservoirs are dry. Fun times I can assure you.
My beautiful English garden looks like the Sahara desert currently.
From there we decided that was enough for one day and we walked back to the Elizabeth Line. Only to find it wasn’t working.
So we then had a comedic battle to get back to our car. So many tubes, trains, and then a cab.
My vote for next time? To drive in like we usually do. 🫣😂
Sunday morning we were feeling pretty good. So I suggested we hit the gym.
He’s getting into it as much as I am these days.
Well, not physically as much as I get to go. But he’s open to the idea. And that feels very positive.
I wish I had understood building muscle and bone years ago.
I thought it was just a silly notion for vain people obsessing over their aesthetics. It didn’t appeal to me at all.
I’ve wasted so many years, years I could have spent building bone density, and muscle mass.
I feel like I cheated myself with my ignorance.
But I didn’t know what I didn’t know. And now that I do understand nutrition and the importance of muscle in relation to longevity I will make it my mission to keep this up until I die. Because hopefully, doing all this work will make that a long time from now. 🤞🏼
If you are unsure about health and fitness I’d recommend googling the importance of muscle and bone density.
There’s a lot of information out there, but also a lot of misinformation too. I have a fabulous PT and nutritionist, she can do online coaching if you fancy it. She’s rebuilding me from the ground up. Xx
…The build up to Ben and Erin’s wedding was very emotional and exciting.
It was hard to keep it all in check. I just kept myself busy and occupied.
Top from Ralph Lauren, Jeans from Tesco, Shoes from Hermes.
I went out for rides, the gym and generally just pottered around. Erin and Ben sorted the entire wedding out themselves. So I wasn’t needed in any way. 🥰
My usual spray tan lady (my friend Ellie) wasn’t able to do my tan, so Erin googled and found someone else to do it.
And Ben took me into Chelmsford to get it done. I mean, I could have gone alone, but it was nice to spend time with him.
While we were in Chelmsford, we bumped into the social media content creator GymSkin.
And if you’ve ever seen his lives, I can assure you he’s as sweet as he appears to be.
Such a lovely man.
I did laugh when Ben called out to him “Mate! would you take a picture with my mum!?!”
…but really I think he wanted one more than me. 😂
Then the Thursday before the wedding I went to Colchester with Ben to pick up the suits for him and all his groomsmen.
Top from Me&Em, Trousers from M&S
We had such a lovely day getting the final bits sorted.
Then Thursday night Sam, Milly and Zak came up from Hampshire for the wedding weekend.
I had a great idea…
I found the dress I had been wearing when this photo with Zak was taken. So I wanted to recreate it.
Unfortunately, Zak was not as into the idea as I was 😂
But it was no bother as I dragged Sam into take Zak’s role!
Dress from Tesco (8 years ago).
It was Unfortunate Zak wasn’t on board with his nana’s nonsense! 👵🏼👦🏼
But the photo was great anyway 🥰😂
We headed up to London early Friday. We made a lovely long weekend of the wedding celebrations.
Top from Ralph Lauren, Skirt from Maje, Shoes from Hermes.
I’m always amazed at how well I’m able to put an outfit together. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m going to appear on anyone else’s best dressed list. I don’t need to appear on anyone’s list but mine.
Not everyone will like what I wear, and that’s absolutely fine.
I don’t always get it right, but I love experimenting with different styles of clothes.
But what is so profoundly special is that it isn’t something I thought would be possible pre stoma surgery.
I mistakenly assumed that I’d be trapped in baggy t shirts and joggers for the rest of my life. And if I choose to, I could and would do that.
But the fact that my stoma hasn’t dampened my enthusiasm for clothes. Or my desire and ability to create some glorious looks is always going to be the biggest reason why I can’t sit and wallow about having to have a permanent colostomy.
What I thought would be a difficult and painful experience, has actually heightened my sense of self, confidence and joy.
I have a stoma under these beautiful clothes!! And no one would know unless I tell them…and in fairness I do tell them a lot because I rather proudly shout it from the rooftops to guide the way for people coming behind me.
“I was where you were once…look at me now!”
(It’s not about whether someone likes my sense of style, or the individual items, it’s about knowing that they can get back to feeling like themselves again.
And that knowledge is the key to recovering.
Survivorship has given me a sense of confidence that I never imagined possible).
❤️🩹
I absolutely love this look.
Bearing in mind the top and skirt are from two different brands, it works so well together.
Chris gave me the absolute biggest surprise.
He is my entire heart.
Ben wanted to get ready with his many groomsmen away from where Erin was getting ready.
So he asked Chris if they could get ready at our hotel room.
Well, that’s wonderful. Apart from the fact that as confident I am as an ostomate the one thing I can’t really cope with is bag change smells.
Do people with stomas smell bad?? No, don’t be utterly ridiculous!!
But, bag changetime? Holy moly yes! That output has been sat there for 24 hours attached to my abdomen. Of course it’s pungent. It’s awful and cloying.
It is what it is because of what it is.
So I was having a nigh on panic attack about them all coming to our room to get ready. My bathroom would smell once I got ready. And I’d be very uncomfortable and embarrassed.
So what did Chris do? He booked the best suite they have at Sea Containers hotel. It had two bathrooms!
One for me to get ready in peace and comfort. And one for all those boys.
The suite was in a corner position, and it was incredible!! Hands down the best place I’ve stayed other than The Savoy, and the George IV in Paris).
It had a large bar/entertaining area, large dining room with 8 seater table. A large living room with huge sofa. A very large bedroom and large bathroom. And a spare one too.
I was stunned when we walked in because I had no idea what he had booked.
Friday night, after a walk, and a trip to the London Aquarium, and then a walk back to the hotel, we ordered room service for Chris and I, and Sam, Zak and Milly…as Zak had taken a shine to our rather nice suite.
Then we all chilled out and watched The Sheep Detective movie, in our room with popcorn.
It was an incredibly special night. I made sure I took it all in. I can’t think it would ever happen again. So I made the most of it.
Ben phoned to say he was on his way back to his hotel and wondered if we were still up.
So I redressed quickly and went down to the lobby to give him a pre wedding hug.
I was privileged and honoured to be invited to get ready with the bridal party by Erin.
She is an angel, and wanted me to feel involved and included.
Both my son’s chose their partners very well. I’m very lucky.
I’m not a believer in the fanfare and hooha around the Mother of the Groom role.
I did my part 28 years ago when I gave birth to him, he was never mine to keep forever, no child is (that whole “boy mum” trend going round the social media gives me the ick.
I have a husband that I’m obsessed with, and pour myself into, he’s my forever man, but my children, they are beautiful, wonderful, incredible transient ones).
I loved being pregnant, a new mum, a mum to toddlers, and to older children and then teens, and I love being the mum of adult children, but I’m also very very happy that they both found the loves of their lives and have their own family units now.
I’m here for whatever they need, for eternity. But on the whole, my work is done, they are sorted, happy and content. And that feels like a great achievement.
My dress for the wedding was from Self Portrait, and on reflection, I don’t think I made the right choice.
Obviously I’d never wear white, cream or ivory to a wedding, but I hadn’t considered how pale this lilac would look in bright sunlight, it wasn’t this pale looking in the shop I assure you.
I didn’t actually choose it to be honest, not that I’m throwing Chris under the bus, in fact there is no bus to start with. Erin loved the dress and had no issue with me wearing it at all.
Basically I’ve got in my own head and upset myself about it not being dark enough…you’ll be seeing me at future weddings in black or navy. I’ll be channelling my inner Morticia Adam’s I reckon.
It’s a stunning dress, but I am going to have to sell it or have it dyed.
I did laugh on the day ~ I was panicking and I said to my friend Si, “Oh Christ, is this dress too pale? Does it look white?”
And he responded “technically you could say it’s actually a shit brown colour” 🫣🤩😂
Up close, the lining of it shows through the lace and it is indeed a very dark tan/borderline shit brown. 😂
I felt very reassured 🫣
Dress from Self Portrait, Shoes and bag Jimmy Choo (they are both about 15 years old and absolutely gorgeous. They don’t get out much because the shoes are insanely high and I am ludicrously clumsy).
I had my back up shoes in the hotel room waiting for me to pop back and change into.
For some reason the people in charge of bringing Erin to the ceremony room didn’t quite get their timings right.
Nine and a half minutes she sat there alone in a boiling hot ante-room…whilst Ben had the longest 9 and a half minute wait of his life.
If you’ve ever been to a registry office wedding in the uk you’ll know they run like clockwork, no time to waste, 20 minutes and you’re done. Which is what made the delay so incredibly stressful and surprising.
I kept smiling at Ben to reassure him, and turning to Chris to ask him to go find our girl!
He himself was getting a little nervous and apparently had a cut off of 10 minutes late, then he was going to see what the hold up was.
The wait…
Thankfully she turned up eventually 🫶🏼…
Erin’s mum made Erin’s wedding dress, from scratch, with no pattern. It hurts my brain just thinking about how difficult that must have been.
But my goodness, what a beautiful dress she created from thin air. And how truly special it is for Erin to know how much love was poured into it. That is a very special gift.
She looked like a beautiful princess.
Her veil was from Shien, and in all honesty I think women are being ripped off by the regular bridal industry, because that veil was beautiful!…and not bridal store money.
What a joy it is to find love…
Beautiful creatures 🫶🏼🥹🤍
We got a new daughter, and a whole new side of the family. There will be plenty more trips to Liverpool in our future 🤩
These men 🥰🫶🏼🥹…
Fully on the 0.0 beers (can you imagine how bad my paranoia scaries would have been if I’d been on actual beer, it’s been pretty off the chart with zero alcohol in me 🫣😬).
Neither Erin or Ben wanted a cake. Erin doesn’t have a sweet tooth, so she felt it was a waste of time…
Me? Well I have teeth made of sweets I reckon. So I asked them that as they weren’t interested in a cake, could I perhaps sort one out for them.
And they agreed that I could. I managed to get it sorted, and ordered a really very nice cake in record time. Pretty proud of that actually. I’m usually shit at stuff like this.
I did not actually cut the cake myself, this is staged for shits and giggles purposes only.
I am not actually a Monster in Law! 🫣
Their venue was sensational. They booked a roof top bar overlooking the Thames and St Paul’s cathedral.
The day was filled with love and laughter. It was an amazing experience.
Ben has such an impressive group of friends. They are all incredibly supportive and actually outwardly loving towards each other.
He had two best men. One of whom he’s known since birth, as his mum is my best friend, and one he’s known since they was 2 years old he met at pre school. And the rest of the group have been friends since they were 11.
Now, Ben is the first person in the extensive friendship group to get married, therefore the best men roles were their first ever experience as well.
They both smashed it out the park! Those speeches were the best I’ve ever heard (with the exception of my best friend from childhood, Stephen, who did the most fabulous speech at Chris and I’s vow renewal).
They were so full of love and respect and joy and happiness and humour.
It made mine and Chris’s heart so happy.
Erin gave the most beautiful speech and said a lot of incredibly sweet and kind things about me and Chris. And I will hold them in my heart forever. She didn’t have to do that at all. But what a beautiful woman she is.
Like I said I got really lucky because I have ended up with 2 sons, and they brought me two bonus daughters.
Obvs both Ben and Erin said lovely things about Chris - because quite frankly he is the loveliest person to have ever been invented.
It was so very special that my mum and dad are fit, well and healthy. So it was a great blessing for Ben to have had his Nanny and Barbar there on his special day. Not everyone gets that lucky in life.
It was such a fabulous day. One to treasure forever.
Because our suite was so nice, everyone who was staying at Sea Containers Hotel came to ours for breakfast the following day.
Sam, Milly, Zak, my parents, my cousin and her husband. It was so special, I made sure to make a mental note of it all.
I admire Ben and Erin so much for choosing a marriage over a big wedding day extravaganza.
They didn’t want any financial help from anyone. So they did it all themselves.
And for their money they got a fabulous wedding service at Islington Town Hall, and a fabulous wedding reception at a roof top bar overlooking the river Thames and St Paul’s cathedral.
With none of the extra things that hoover up hard earned cash.
Go to any wedding fair and see what happens. Everything starts at a grand and goes up in increments of a grand.
Costs can easily spiral out of control, with the “finishing touches”.
And that’s fine if you can afford it, fabulous in fact. But it breaks my heart when people start out married life in huge debt because they wanted to put on a big show for one day.
Mine and Chris’s original wedding cost under £1000, including the dress and the photographer.
It was incredibly basic. Our wedding reception was held in Chris’s parents living room.
However, our wedding blessing 15 years ago on the other hand was 25k. But our marriage was 15 years in at this point so we felt pretty safe investing that sort of money into a big party.
Plus it was a celebration of survival really. Mine and Sam’s physical survival. And our emotional survival as a family.
We’re 30 years into our marriage now, and I think it’s probably going to last the distance, I really like him. 🤩
Then the next day Ben and Erin did their newly wed activities…as in they nursed Erin’s hangover, and went out for lunch as man and wife.
…We booked our own lunch for us to celebrate them on their behalf.
Dress from Maje, Shoes from Hermes
We chose Brassiere Zedel. It’s one of our favourites in London. The food is incredible and the atmosphere is fabulous, and surprisingly for London, not spenny.
Our son has a wife! How lovely.
His friends kept saying that they feel too young to be getting married. Ben is 28.
I told them that I got married and was pregnant at 22, and in my head I still feel about 22 now.
Nothing changes for the worse if you marry the right person.
I pointed out that at coming up 30 they are actually positively old maids!! 🤩😂
I’m joking of course. I have enjoyed being married but I don’t think it’s necessary for everyone to be. I have enjoyed motherhood and likewise I don’t think it’s vital for everyone.
I think the most beautiful lives are the ones lead by your own heart and desires. That’s the key to success, rather than following paths set out by others.
You - do - you - babes!!
Then come Monday it was crashing back to earth after an incredible high.
I went to the gym in the morning, then Chris shocked me and suggested we go for a bike ride in the evening. It was bloody amazing!!
Instead of being slumped in our usual position on the sofa we went out and rode 12 miles.
(Mine was mostly on battery assist. But at least I was getting some fresh air).
I have been back in the gym multiple times this week because I really very much enjoy it. I like the high it gives me …big shock there then!! The lady who can get addicted to virtually anything (even table scaping) is getting a buzz from the gym! 😂
Then Tuesday was a very very special day. Two of our darling best people ran off to vegas and got married.
They had very kindly invited us to join them, but Chris had zero holiday left, and vegas is a bit far for a day trip.
They found each other ~ fell in love and all our lives have been enhanced because of that.
We are lucky to have them in our lives. It made me very emotional to see the photos of them so in love and loving their special day.
Congratulations Tanya and James!! Look at you! All grown up and married!!
Then Wednesday came the solar eclipse, and Chris and I cycled over to the highest point we could think of.
I had assumed we’d be the only ones, but apparently I am deluded. 😂
Chris had very cleverly bought all the eclipse equipment in good time, and I packed a picnic.
It was a really lovely community event in the end.
Again, it’s better than just sitting watching telly. It feels nice to be more active.
Then Friday we headed for another whistle stop adventure!
Devon here we come!
A 600 miles round trip to see our beautiful friend get married. I know! 3 weddings in 7 days!
We’ve known Fay 25 years…twenty five?? How is that even possible??
Chris met her at work, when she was 18, and introduced us, and I immediately adopted her as my friend too! She’s family. She’s the best.
We have seen her grow up really.
I’m so happy she got her happily ever after with Steve, and the amazing family they have built together.
Congratulations you beautiful people! Wishing you a lifetime of happiness, and remember Fay, always be yourself…but maybe just take it down by 25% or so 😬🫣😂
Devon was dreamy, but far, why is it sooooo farrrrr?!? 😬
We decided to head home early from the reception (I have a rank cold that’s half killing me. Yes, the bride was aware I was ill before I turned up, as if I’d turn up without permission with a cold).
And Chris, the romantic old bastard that he is made a detour on the way home, and took me to lunch in the pub in the village in Somerset we honeymooned in, nearly 31 years ago. We had a walk round the village, well, hamlet really, and retraced steps we made over the many years we’d visit his cousin’s cottage there. It was the most perfect day and the most perfect end to an incredible weekend.
Highlights? Well, the wedding obvs, but I’ve got to be honest, getting him on the dodgems at the fairground outside our hotel is right up there! 🤩 and the vintage steam train was pretty special too…but mostly the wedding 💒 🫶🏼🥰🤩
Shirt and Shorts from Ralph Lauren, Shoes from Hermes.
We took my car to make the very long drive a bit more fun. And as the weather is ludicrously hot it was perfect.
The fair was pretty empty really, so we had the dodgems to ourselves, it was actually very romantic really. 🥰😂
Then Saturday morning we decided to take a steam train ride. The wedding wasn’t till the late afternoon so it just made sense to do something fun. Like I said, Devon is farrrrrrrrr. You might as well make the most of it.
Top from Maje, Shorts from Ralph Lauren, Shoes from Scarosso
Devon is dreamy…
Would I book to go back to Paignton? No, no I probably wouldn’t. It wasn’t our cup of tea at all. But it’s clean and well maintained and perfect for young families.
When in Rome and all that…
Dress from Maje, Shoes from Jimmy Choo
Now Dartmouth on the other hand was right up my alley. Quaint little shops and boutiques. Beautiful cobbled streets. It’s adorable. Picture perfect, I would definitely go back there.
And the most perfect place for a wedding.
I loved Fay and Steve’s no nonsense approach to getting married too.
No fuss, no unnecessary frills, just love…and a cake of assorted cheeses 🧀 🥰😂
Look at out beaut, all grown up and a wife! 🫶🏼
I was feeling incredibly unwell by the evening, so we left very early. I also sat well away from any other guests because I wasn’t wanting to infect anyone else.
I found a side room away from the throng of people. I enjoyed the day very much despite being half dead. I was powered by otriviene, paracetamol, chloraseptic and adrenaline.
We left and got the ferry back to the hotel.
It made us really laugh.
Chris books most things with the help of Ai, and Ai suggested Paignton for us. We wanted to be near to the wedding, but in a branded hotel we recognised the name of.
We’ve stayed in some really ropey English seaside resort hotels before, so Chris wanted something you know the standard of.
Anyway, we put the address of the wedding in the satnav and it was a 50 minute drive. Which we thought was odd.
…On the way home to the hotel Chris had a fiddle about with the satnav, and turned on all the options. One of which was a ferry to the other side of the estuary.
Sixteen minutes it took to drive home!! One - SIX!!
We had driven 50 minutes unnecessarily on the way there! And it did explain why Ai had suggested the Mercure hotel in Paignton as an option.
By Sunday I was feeling rough. So I did what I always have done when times get tough.
I piled make up on and powered through.
Mainly because Chris had gone to a lot of effort to do something nice for me.
Whole outfit from Maje, Shoes from Hermes.
He took us to retrace our honeymoon steps…
We didn’t have any money back then, so Chris’s second cousin lent us his holiday cottage in Somerset for 5 days.
We got married in February and it was freezing cold. There was snow on the ground.
We didn’t know how to light log fires, or more importantly, how to keep the fire going when once lit, and the only heating the cottage had was a log fire.
So we would go out in the day time to keep warm like a couple of hobos. McDonalds in Bath was a great place for keeping warm.
It was the best time. We have special memories of the cottage. We used to take Sam, and then Ben when he came along.
We have a huge emotional tie to Somerset, more so Chris because he spent a lot of his childhood at said cottage.
So Chris drove us through Cheddar Gorge, with the roof down. Never done that before.
And we drove past that gorgeous, special little cottage.
And then to the pub in the same village, for a lovely roast dinner and a reminisce.
This photo was taken 29 years ago…
And this one taken 29 years later…
We had a fabulous lunch, and walk around the village. Then headed home after an amazing weekend.
Then the lurgy came out fully.
I think it actually trying to kill me. 😬🤧🤒😷😂
My Oura ring is working overtime right now.
So are my lungs. 🫣
The thing I’m most upset about is not being able to go to the gym, all the hard work till now will be being wasted and atrophying…although my PT Annabelle has assured me that I’m over reacting and it won’t make that much difference.
Me? Over reacting? Doesn’t sound like something I’d do? 🫣😂😂😂😂😂
Congratulations to all our favourite people on their weddings. Wishing you all the happiest happily ever afters.
🤍🤍🤍
Thank you so much for stopping by. Much appreciated.
(Ps, Stock up on cold and flu meds, there’s a storm coming and it is awful 🦠🤧🤒😷😬).
Look at the state of my poor drought ravaged English country garden…
I have a feeling my grass is dead, never to be seen again.
There have been so many wild fires in the uk, some people have lost their homes, so whinging about a garden is ridiculous, but it was such a beautiful place.
I am just about done with gardens, I’ll be moving to a flat with air con and a balcony just as soon as I can afford the one of my dreams.
Roll on the rains…oh how very English of me 😂