You don’t have to, that’s it, that’s the mantra…
You don’t have to focus on, or care about what you wear.
You don’t have to want to do the same thing as others in any way shape or form.
You literally only have to keep yourself happy.
My whole personality isn’t shopping and dressing, but I do think it’s a significant part of it. ;)
I love clothes. I’ve always loved putting outfits together.
I think my mum needs to take some responsibility for this. Because although she isn’t a big shopper herself she used to make me the most exquisite outfits, as a child. Everything coordinated or matching.
When you’re a seamstress and can create anything from scratch it opens up a whole world of possibilities.
Even my school uniforms were home made. And glorious. She’d make the skirt part of the dress extra full, perfect for a fabulous twirl!
(I can’t do anything practical, it skipped a generation). So I have to get my creativity on in shops…And I do, regularly.
I honestly thought I’d never be able to dress well post op. And that was a great concern of mine pre op.
And it turns out I was wrong. I pride myself on, no matter how shallow that may be, my ability to dress in a way that makes me happy.
Everyone’s survivorship is different though. Some people will be like me and enjoy dressing up, and some won’t care one little bit.
And it’s all absolutely fine, because we don’t need to feel the same way.
Same goes for the stoma itself, I really like mine. And some people won’t, and that’s also completely normal too.
It would be a boring world if we all thought the same.
I saw a post the other day by Natalie Woodward. Are you following her? You really should, she is a beacon of light and hope, an absolute treasure and icon no less.
Anyway, in the post Natalie put up photos of her in a bikini, her first time since her op 7 years ago.
She regularly swims, but in a one piece costume.
It’s such an interesting thing. Because a lot of people think we should cover our bags up in public, and some feel very strongly that we should be bag out and proud.
My feelings on the matter?
Well, I just think it’s personal preference.
I have never really liked one piece swimsuits, I don’t like the sensation when they are wet. I don’t like it touching my skin. Especially when you’ve pulled it down to go to the toilet and then have to pull it up again. Honestly that makes me heave.
So I have for the most part always bikini-ed.
I bought a few one pieces straight after my surgery. But I simply don’t like the feeling of them.
So I went back to bikinis.
No one should feel pressured or pushed to wear something. Life is to be enjoyed. So we have to live in a way that pleases us.
If you like one style over another, you do you.
What caught my eye in Natalie’s post was firstly she looked absolutely cracking! And secondly, she mentioned that she prefers the black stoma bags because she felt more confident with it, because no output was visible, even when the bag is wet.
And I thought that was a very good point. So I did a bit of googling and purchased some black stoma bags for my up coming holidays. Because she’s absolutely right, the flesh tone ones when wet can be a bit see through.
I’m 16 years into stoma owning but I’m very happy to be inspired by others.
I’m going to give them a go while I’m away and see how I feel. I’ve never been particularly bothered about the skin tone ones being see through, but I think it’s worth trying something new.
I used a stoma cover I bought from a company a few years ago, but it wasn’t a great fit for my bag, and I hadn’t noticed that while I’d been swimming along it had come off. I had to get Chris to help me retrieve it.
I have happily bikini-ed all over the world. Very happily actually.
But I don’t expect everyone with a stoma to want to wear one.
I also saw a post from a different stoma influencer, she’s new to me, and I have forgotten her name now, but she’s fab!
Anyway, someone had the cheek to tell her that she shouldn’t be swimming at all with a stoma as it’s ‘unsanitary’…
😳🤬
The absolute bare faced cheek of the silly bint!!
Firstly it’s none of her business what anyone else does, and technically, I’d like to point out here that stoma bags are so tightly sealed that they are absolutely the opposite of unsanitary!
And there’s her, sitting passing judgment on us, while she undoubtedly swims with her claggy bum hole just casually covered by the cloth of her cozzie!! How do we know how good her personal hygiene is??
Stay in your lane lady! And more to the point, stay out of ours! 🤩🥰
There is so much potential in this world for positivity, uplifting people and joy…
Let’s give that a go.
For some reason on Friday I decided to try on the dress I had in mind as my mother of the groom outfit. The wedding is in 6 weeks!! Eeeek!! So excited!
I had it all planned in my head, so I thought I’d give it a trial run.
Anyway, it no longer works as it no longer fits me.
I was shocked to be honest. A little bit of panic crept in. But Chris reassured me that it was going to be solvable by buying something that does fit, and yes, that does seem like a very reasonable idea.
So we headed off to Bicester village outlet shopping centre. I had exhausted all the options in Harrods (I had hoped to buy it there and get the clubcard points).
I’ve got to be honest, I didn’t feel excited about buying something as I’d had the other outfit in mind for months now.
But I’m a little trooper, I pushed myself and went shopping! 🫣🤩😂
Top from Maje, Jeans from Levi’s, Shoes from Hermes, Bag from Goyard.
I felt quite hopeful that I would get something in Self Portrait, I don’t know why, maybe I just wanted something from there.
Anyway I tried the first one on but Chris hated it, he very much took against the sticking up neckline…and I felt it was too booby for my son’s wedding.
No one wants to see the mother of the grooms cleavage so out and proud, no matter how fabulous it fit me. 🤩
I then tried on two more and didn’t even bother coming out of the dressing room as I disliked them very much.
Dress 4 was stunning! Chris loved it, I thought it was very different to my normal look, but was very taken with it. And 3 other shoppers told me how good it looked.
So Chris said we’ll have it.
I then tried on another dress, and it is equally beautiful and so classy and classic.
And I was torn because some more women told me this one was the one too.
Chris solved the issue and bought them both.
One will be for Ben and Erin’s biggest day, and one will be for my niece Jessica’s big day. So that is very exciting.
I was reassured that Chris wasn’t just saying buy them - man shopping style - straight in and out no fannying around - because other people were very complimentary about the dresses.
I’m very very happy.
So that’s me sorted for the wedding. I have shoes and bags already for both dresses. And I’ll just decide on the day which one to wear for what.
Fortuitously for me I discovered they have a Maje shop in Bicester village, so that was very nice for me. I bought a few bits and bobs…
Voila!
Top from Maje, Jeans from M&S, Shoes from Hermes, Bag from Dior.
We drove down to Hampshire for lunch with friends on Sunday, I do love a good Sunday roast, and this was a particularly good one. Well chosen Laura and Chris! 🥰
Then while we were in the area we popped in on Sam and Milly as a surprise.
Milly went up to Zak’s room to say Nana and Pops are here and he just assumed on FaceTime. So that was super cute when he came rushing down to see us.
Then Monday I was back in the gym with my PT.
Then Tuesday I was back in the gym for my solo session. Who even am I at this point?!?
I’ve gone from never having been to a gym…to this!!
I get a bit fixated on things, but at least this time it’s all for the greater good. Strong bones, strong muscles, just strong! 💪🏼
I have the most adorable cute little biceps ever. I’m really very taken with them 🤩😂
Is it easy to go? Absolutely not! I feel like an outsider in the extreme. It’s a proper body builder gym, and I’m most definitely not.
But once I get there I know it’s the right place to be. Because no one else cares what I’m doing or what I look like, because we’re all there for the same reason roughly - for ourselves!
To be the best version of us we can be.
…Equally important to being physically the best version of me I can be I am eating so very well too.
We started the healthy eating habit over two years ago now, and it’s really stuck. To the point that I feel sick even looking at some foods that I used to ravenously consume.
Especially when people send all those food porn restaurant videos. Nothing about them excites me anymore.
I used to love all the indulgent foods, and lots of them, but now I like nutritious ones.
Food has to bring some health benefits or it’s a no from me. Fibre, fibre, protein and more fibre. Once you get those in all the nutrients you need come as standard.
My favourite time of day is breakfast with Chris. Which will be either porridge or over night oats, fruit, nuts, seeds, and 90% dark chocolate.
Finally I am treating my body like the temple it is. I’ve got one shot at this life and I want it to be as healthy and as active as possible (excluding hiking, I’m still not into the idea of walking where there are no shops). 🤭🤩😂
Keep well,
Much love always
S