This week’s blog is dedicated to Hannah, a new and unexpected reader🫶🏼😘🤩🫶🏼
My advice to the young, and come to that, the considerably older, is slap that sun screen on!
(If you have concerns about the safety of sunscreen, invest in the ones you feel more comfortable with.
Use Mineral Options: If concerned about chemical absorption, choose physical/mineral sunscreens containing zinc oxide or titanium dioxide. And if they don’t feel any better an option for you, I’d really really recommend covering up with clothing completely.
I have 20 minutes a day with bare arms to get my dose of vitamin D, and then I get showered and slather on the factor 50 (face) and 30 (body).
I went to my skin cancer surgeon again last week, and joy of joys, I’ve got 3 more skin cancers on my leg.
So that makes 9 lesions so far, and counting.
Over the past few years four weren’t cancer, but had to be cut out and tested, 5 have been basal cell carcinoma. And unsurprisingly, your skin scars when something is removed surgically, so it’s almost irrelevant if they were positive or not, the scars are just the same.
Basal cell cancer isn’t horrendous, and as far as I know it’s not aggressive or scary. But they do need dealing with. You just get a longer window of time to get them treated.
The smaller and earlier the better for wound healing and scar recovery.
I’m a child of the 70s, 80s and 90s, our sun care was Ambre Solaire Factor 2 sun oil…and we all know someone who used baby oil to get a deeper tan (that wasn’t me by the way, but I’ve plenty of friends who used to).
I’m so pissed off with needing more treatment, my leg is currently on fire, I could really do without it. The saving grace is the lesion on my face I had concerns about is just part of a rosacea flare up, thank the fucking universe.
Slather that revolting goo on and protect yourself. Because this is a right pain.
I can’t bear the feeling of moisturiser or sunscreen. But I really don’t enjoy having bits cut out or burnt off either, so it is a necessary evil.
I had to cancel my spray tan appointment, for that evening, because my leg wounds were weeping after the treatment.
I said to my surgeon “Oh I had a spray tan booked for later this evening” and he replied “not anymore you’ve not!”
He was right, for two reasons, 1, I’d not risk getting an infection by spraying an open wound. And 2, my spray tan lady is my friend and I would not want to rep her brand with my gammy weeping leg ruining her fabulous work!
I couldn’t face going out at the weekend looking like a sickly Victorian, with some sort of pox. So I did a home tan, with cream. I very carefully went around the wounds. Which looked weird I imagine, but I really felt the dress needed some colour to my legs.
Check your skin for oddities, skin cancer isn’t just black moles ~ google signs and symptoms and more importantly check yourself.
Bearing in mind it was just a home tan cream, and not an expensive one at that, it came out okay.
My surgeon seemed surprised to see the cancers in a cluster like this. I panicked because, well, that’s my first thought about everything and anything every single time.
I said “Oh god, what does that mean!??”
He just shrugged.
Which made me laugh.
No doctor I’ve ever seen has been like a TV or film portrayal of a doctor. They’ve been great, for the most part, and I’m grateful for that, but Dr. House they are not!
No one has the slightest curiosity as to why I get odd things.
Every possible symptom of cancer from the age of 18 - shrug, cancer diagnosis at 36 ~ shrug, fainting on exertion ~ shrug, seven boils in my armpit during flu ~ shrug, a cluster of skin cancers on my leg ~ shrug 🤷.
Which is why I’m hyper-vigilant, and have health anxiety in the extreme. I don’t feel like anyone is coming to save me so I’d better at the very least try and save myself.
(That said, Chris is doing some incredible work looking after me, and future me, with the help of AI. I’m so grateful that at the very least he is curious enough to try and future proof me).
The burning off of the cells is the first port of call for this trio, if this doesn’t work they will need to be cut out.
I think two of them won’t need any further treatment, and one will. Seeing as I can see the cancer still under the blister, like a goldfish in a tank.
What will be will be.
So other than that I’ve been out and about having fun.
I’m pretty good at doing so. I’m never going to sit life out. Been there done that.
No thank you, never again, these days if I have any energy in my body I will be up and out the door.
It’s dress season! Finally! A time of year I can generally, almost certainly guarantee that I won’t get any bag issues. With that comes an increased feeling of confidence.
Dress from Me&Em, Shoes from Burberry (about 20 years ago).
And wide leg trousers are a close second…
Top from The PDKF Store, Trousers from M&S, Shoes from Hermes
And then Saturday was my best friend’s 60th birthday. It was such an incredible day! Absolute perfection actually.
Rather than a big party, she opted for an intimate lunch for 40 people at the races.
And I’ve got to be honest, it was probably the best birthday celebration I’ve ever been to.
The room was overflowing with love, joy and laughter…And it was in the day time…and the music wasn’t loud. Absolute heaven. In my opinion I think it would be hard to beat that!
I had my outfit planned for some time. I doubt that will come as a shock to anyone.
In fairness I get less sleep than most people, so get extra time to plan 😂
Is a white dress a risky choice for someone in my position? Errrr, yeah!!
Did that deter me? Nope!
I saw the dress in Maje last year and I absolutely loved it. And wanted it.
The funny thing is, like most big brands they always display their wares on very thin models. And sometimes clothing actually does look better, or at least equally as good on a bigger sized wearer.
We don’t all have to look the same to be able to dress well. How dull would life be if that were the case.
Does it look the same as it did on the model, no, of course it doesn’t. But I felt great in it, and I had so many compliments on it that I think it’s safe to feel like this one was a winner.
And more importantly it is cosy AF. 🥰
I don’t want to wear difficult uncomfortable clothes, I’m turning 53 next week, and with that I have earned myself the privilege of wearing comfortable clothes.
Dress from Maje, Shoes from Jimmy Choo
I’ve known Michelle for 30 years next March. Chris went to university with her husband.
They introduced us, and it was love at first sight (on my part…she’s still on the fence about me 🫣🤩😂🥰).
We have children who are exactly the same age. In fact her youngest was born on my eldest’s birthday.
The last 30 years have been pretty special, and it was really very special to celebrate her birthday with her and all her friends and family.
And as it was horse racing, I came home with full pockets.
I put a bet on the first race and won…I then failed on the next two - and at that point the dopamine hit wore off very quickly. Gambling has never been one of my fixations.
So I stopped betting, but that didn’t mean I stopped winning…because I offered to go to the tote each time and check to see if any of Chris’s bets had won (🤔🤭🤫🤭) They did, but each time I told him they hadn’t - and I pocketed the cash.
Until…
I went up to the tote, for about the 6th time and I said to the woman behind the counter, who kept complimenting me on my betting prowess;
“Oh, no, none of these have been mine, I’ve just been telling my husband they lost, and I’ve kept the money” and we conspiratorially laughed.
Anyway I was head down counting my most recent spoils, whilst heading back to our box (we’re not talking big money here, neither one of us is a big gambler, I’m an equal opportunity thief, I’m happy to take large or small denominations).
I was busy stuffing the coins into my bag when I sensed another human standing in front of me, blocking my path, and as I slowly looked up the body to face them I realised it was Chris, and I let out a scream (deafening the people in the queue). Which made everyone laugh.
I was screaming with laughter after. I felt like a naughty child who’d been caught out. 🤩😂
I’m a mischievous little clepto 😂
Just to be clear of course Chris knew the horses were winning. He just likes to spoil me, and very very handily I like to be spoilt. 🥰😂
It was a fabulous day spent with some of my most favourite people from the last 30 years on the planet.
It’s often been said that Lucie and I are almost like twins…
Okay, it was me who said it, but a gal can dream. 🤩😂
The beautiful birthday girl…
With my Maria, who lives a long way away, but thankfully I see every day through the power of social media. ♥️
With this gorgeous angel, who we adore. Alice you are fabulous. 🫶🏼
It was fantastic to catch up with so many people.
Going to the races is always fun, I love the people watching, and like most race events it is a feast for the eyes.
All the beautiful girls dressed up in their finery. It’s the closest we mere mortals will get to Bridgerton vibes.
I found these really clever heel extenders on online.
Not to make the shoe higher, god no! But I did need to increase the surface area of the heel.
I didn’t know if I’d be on grass at all, horse racing venues it can be quite grassy, and I like to be prepared.
These heels had a very fine stiletto, so I wanted to make them a bit more all terrain. 🤩😂
They worked a treat.
Then the following day was very special again.
A few weeks ago Zak sent me a voice note to ask if I’d take him to Liberty’s of London. Which cracked me up as it’s an unusual choice for a seven year old.
Apparently it features in the film Cruella, which did explain the random request.
The boy wants Nana to take him shopping!?! 🛍️ Errrr, you don’t have to ask me twice, I’ve waited my whole 52 years of life to take a grandchild shopping with me!
If I do say so myself it is an area of special interest and considerable expertise…perhaps my only one.
Top from Me&Em, Jeans from Paige, Belt from LV, Bag from Goyard, Shoes from Zara.
Always happy to oblige.
Liberty’s is a spectacular building. Definitely worth a visit if you’ve not been.
But I very rarely shop there though as I prefer Harrods because their loyalty clubcard scheme is hard to beat.
So I suggested we have a look around Liberty’s for all the film locations. Then go to lunch, and then over to Harrods to introduce (also see - indoctrinate) him to my favourite place.
He saw a little Emma Bridgewater tea tray and wanted to buy it for his mum. He is adorable!
Purchase made we headed to one of our favourite restaurants for lunch.
Brasserie Zedel is so good, it’s an underground restaurant, but once you’re down there you’d never know it was. The lighting is so incredibly clever.
They have live music and good food. It’s a French restaurant, and feels very authentic.
Zak was in awe, which was super cute, he only knows of French restaurants via the film Ratatouille, but he loved it and asked if we can go again.
They have a kids menu, which is very handy, and accessible for the younger audience, and fortuitously it had his favourite meal on it.
Then it was off on the Tube to my favourite place, my spiritual home 🤩
We could stretch to this…
But sadly, not this…
We were all in our element. It’s a great shop, and for the most part things there are the same price as anywhere else, but the loyalty clubcard makes it very attractive to shop there.
Then it was time to head home. It was such a fabulous day out.
My boys, who are grown men, became children again. Which made me laugh so much. One’s an engaged father of a seven year old, and the other one is getting married in August and I literally had to tell them off for fighting.
My heart was so full and happy. 😊
Then it was back to reality.
Top from Tommy Hilfiger, Jeans from Paige, Shoes from Chanel.
I cycled to my foodbank shift again this week, I’m using my bike more and more.
Firstly it saves on petrol money and usage. A benefit for the pocket and the environment. And secondly I’m really trying to get fitter.
I had some more blood tests done last week. I’ve had a chest X-ray, and there’s nothing wrong with me to explain the symptoms I keep having. It feels very much like I have an iron deficiency, I have all the symptoms, but I simply do not have it. I can’t find a physical/medical explanation for it all, so it must mean I’m just ridiculously unfit, and or, possibly losing my mind.
…and I need to get on top of the unfit part and change that before it changes me.
I’m very proud to say I have made a start. I know there is more to be done. But I am heading into a new year of life with a determination to be the best version of me possible.
My diet is exceptional already. I did that bit 2 years ago. We de-junked it, and we’ve never even had an urge to stop eating the way we do now.
High fibre, high protein, low fat, but not no fat.
Every mouthful has to be beneficial for good health. Which sounds dull maybe, but it’s anything but.
I feel sick when I see videos of food, the stuff I used to lap up. My little eyes used to light up on sight of a cream bun or a decadent glorious cake.
Since not eating crap, I don’t crave crap.
So that bit is sorted, I just need to build my stamina, and muscle mass, and I have made a start.
I’m so glad I had that Dexa scan for bone density a few weeks back. Okay so the findings shocked me. No one wants to hear they have osteopenia. But I’m grateful I found out at 52, not 62 or 72 when it would be almost too late to repair the damage.
That said, finding out at any age via a scan is definitely better than finding out during a bone break.
I can do a lot to reverse it. I can build up my bone density right now. And that feels incredibly empowering.
Any chance to build back better is extremely important, and I’m grabbing the opportunity with both hands.
Jumper from Reiss, Shoes from M&S
People very kindly tell me how lovely I dress, and I want to make it clear that I only take photos on the days that I look half way decent.
Most of the time I’m at home, make up free, looking like a bog monster, just pottering around.
I do the blue jobs in this relationship as Chris has savage hayfever, and I have mild hayfever. So it makes sense for me to do the things that could harm him.
Quite why we moved to a house with a garden I have no idea. We don’t use it. It’s very much a look but don’t touch situation. 🤩
We have a busy weekend ahead and I’m so looking forward to it.
I booked something a bit weird, but it tickled my fancy when I heard the advert on the radio I thought it would be fun.
Have a fabulous weekend yourself. Keep safe. Much love.
I very much appreciate everyone who stops by to read my ramblings. It feels really very good. So thank you for your service. Xx
My greatest hopes for this blog is that it gives people a little bit of hope.
It’s almost like I’m writing it to myself of 16 years ago, the me who didn’t know a good life was going to be possible.
I hope seeing the things I get to do, wearing pretty clothes gives people the confidence and comfort that I didn’t have back then. 🫶🏼
S