Okay, bear with me, I had so many questions and messages about our recent holiday, that now we’re just going to have to suffer a part 2 of our Indian odyssey.
India seems to be something of an enigma. A mystery so great some people fear it without even stepping foot in the country.
One good point to make is the fact that I get almost zero jet lag while I’m there, and minimal jet lag once I’m home, which does make it a very appealing destination to start with, because as a 16 year insomniac getting sleep is incredibly important to me.
So the most asked question both Chris and I got was “Oh India really, did you get the shits?”
So let’s make one thing very clear, in the total seven weeks of time we’ve spent in the country we never ever ever had sickness, and or diarrhoea.
I know only too well that people assume that you would get ill. Because most people have this stereotype of travel in India in general.
(Just to be clear, It’s possible to pick up a generic stomach bug anywhere in the world. There are nearly 1.5 billion people in India, the chance of picking up all sorts of transmissible diseases is of course a possibility. Same as it is for picking something up on a crowded Tube train on London Underground. But food poisoning? In five star restaurants and hotels? No, that’s very very unlikely).
And I’m sure if I was paying £2.50 a night for my accommodation then yes, I agree it might well be less sanitary.
I think we can safely say that would also be the case if you paid £2.50 a night for a hotel anywhere in the world. The most literal case of ‘you get what you pay for’ ever.
Funnily enough we don’t pay a pittance, in India or anywhere else.
We’ve stayed at The Savoy in London, and Soho Farmhouse in the Cotswolds, and The George IV in Paris, The Beverly Wilshire in LA etc, so it’s pretty unlikely we’d go from that to a one star hostel, with curtains for doors in Rajasthan.
We stay at Oberoi hotels, we have a few favourites in their chain, and we definitely have a very favourite one (Rajvilas - Jaipur, our favourite place on earth), we’d also like to try some more of them because they are so consistently good, so luxurious and so opulent that you feel like you’re in heaven.
We have also stayed at a Taj Group hotel - The Taj Mahal Palace Hotel in Mumbai is incredible. It’s an Indian hospitality icon, and well worth a visit if you’re going to Mumbai. We loved it there.
We stayed at an ITC Group hotel in Goa and that was also fabulous! Beautiful grounds, fabulous food, amazing staff, and the very best sunsets I have ever seen anywhere in the world.
There are many many great places to stay, from converted palaces and Havelis, to camps out in the jungles, or even home stays (I spoke to an American woman at the airport in Udaipur who was doing exactly that, all round India).
A bit of research, and googling reviews will help find beautiful clean exotic locations.
So no, we have never been sick in India, and in fact I usually have quite the reverse.
Funny story, every time I go to India I get terrible constipation. And this trip was no exception.
I ruined our last day in Jaipur with my foolishness.
I was so constipated that I was unwell with it.
Let me start at the beginning;
whenever I fly somewhere I get very dehydrated, no matter how much I try and drink, I always end up very dehydrated.
The flight to Delhi is 8 and a half hours from Heathrow.
So I know I’m going to need some electrolytes and some mild laxative/stool softener.
And when I arrived in Delhi I took two softeners and plenty of water.
And then I carried on with the fun and excitement of the trip, and completely put my bowel health out of mind.
Foolishly, very very foolishly, and to be completely honest, looking back I think I was subconsciously enjoying the freedom that the low output of my stoma was giving.
It just makes everything feel nicer…until it doesn’t.
Low output means I’m not carrying a heavy bag attached to my abdomen all day. Low output means my clothes look better because it’s not bulging. Low output means less chance of bag leaks.
Low output feels like a much better option…like I said, until it doesn’t.
So my output was low, my food intake was high. Indian people are incredibly hospitable, they are feeders, they love food, and they love to share new and exciting things with willing participants…hello! That’s us!!
This is a dangerous combination. I’m not going to turn down the chance to taste something new and exotic, and I hadn’t kept up with the stool softeners to make this a safe experience.
So in the end I was so backed up that the pain that started in my abdomen then spread down my legs and up my back. I’m assuming where the jam packed contents of my body were pressing on some nerves.
By the time I noticed it was too late. My bowels run very slow in general, it takes at least 3 days for me to clear at the best of times.
So no amount of water and stool softener is going to make a difference in that moment.
In the morning I had some delicious breakfast (yeah, I know, weird right), and then we headed out for a walk around the bazaars of Jaipur. I was incredibly uncomfortable but I thought a walk would help.
And it probably did, who knows what condition I would have been in without it. But I had to cut our time short and go back to the hotel.
I couldn’t sit, I couldn’t stand. I felt ill with nausea. I was in a right pickle.
Chris, that darling wonderful man massaged my belly in the hope that it would help. Again, who knows maybe it did a bit.
But it’s not ever going to be an immediate remedy. So I was still feeling rough by the evening. Which meant we had to cancel our reservation at our favourite restaurant in Jaipur for that night, our final night in the city.
I am absolutely gutted about this, still!
We’d saved it for last so we could savour and enjoy the experience. We have great memories here of past trips. And due to my recklessness we both missed out.
I ate a couple of apples in bed, and Chris ordered kati rolls from room service.
I was also gutted to miss out on a kati roll as I am obsessed with them. I was just gutted and disappointed in myself for creating a completely avoidable event.
I know it happens to me, it has happened every single time we’ve been here.
Anyway, I managed to get a modicum of success, not much, but enough to be able to walk around pain free, although still feeling congested and unpleasant, and to get back to Delhi.
The other issue I had was that I didn’t want to have a very active stoma for the Delhi flight, or the 9 hour flight back to London. So it was such a fine balance of needing movement, but not so much it would make the flight unpleasant and unpredictable.
So in answer to the did you get the shits question “No, No I bloody didn’t!”
The litter question comes up a lot too.
“Is it very dirty?”
I’m not going to sugar coat it, yes, yes it can be very dirty (although Udaipur isn’t, so if you are squeamish about litter strewn streets, Udaipur is probably your best bet).
Other cities can be filthy in places, but I simply don’t focus on it. Why would I waste my energy on something I can’t change. I took my own litter back to the hotel, so at least I didn’t add to it, which is all I can do.
It’s not my business to make a comment on it. It’s probably changing as the younger generations are more aware of their environment. But that’s just not something I can control.
My focus is on the energy I feel in India, the vibrancy of the sights and sounds, the colourful, beautiful clothes,the welcoming nature of Indian people, the incredible architecture, the topography & scenery, and most importantly the glorious food…
Oh my god! The food!!
*I have a funny dehydration related story (although in hindsight it should have been a call to arms to trigger a response from me. It’s probably pretty clear by now that I am never likely to listen to my body, or my own advice). Anyway, the morning we transferred from one Delhi hotel to another I got dressed for our day out on the Material Girl tour. I dressed in my new cute little Maje outfit Chris bought me in Harrods a week or so before the trip. I was so happy with how it looked, it’s super cute.
We were driven to the hotel, but at that time our new room wasn’t ready, which wasn’t a problem particularly. We just left everything with the concierge and took with us whatever we needed.
I popped to the loos for a wee before we headed out, and I noticed that I had some output in my bag.
Now, my usual output is that of a thick paste, like toothpaste, but much thicker.
Which is probably confusing to some people because if you’ve seen me in a bikini you will be aware that I wear an empty-able ileostomy bag.
Long story short as to why I settled on the drainable bags, when I first started trialing bags I had a lot of wind (actually I still do at times), and the closed bags would puff up huge amounts and stay like it. I couldn’t cope with that, or even the fear of that. So I tried the drainable bags, and although I wasn’t able to drain the solid contents, I could at least empty the air out. It works really well for me to have that ability, and the feeling of control, especially in a situation of having no to very little control to start with.
Anyway, back to Delhi, I pop to the loo, notice the output is actually like solid balls, and I thought “well it would make life far more comfortable to walk around without having anything in there”
The only issue with that is I very very rarely, if almost never, change or empty my bag in public.
I never really have any need to. So I feel incredibly nervous about doing so. I know. It’s a pretty feeble mindset for a stoma positivity campaigner…I am who I am, flawed and human.
I didn’t want to risk any loo water splash back as I empty my bag, so I had the bright idea of taking off my beautiful skirt and hung it on the back of the door.
All this is being done under a great amount of stress and anxiety, due to doing something that I don’t usually do. And especially not in the toilets of a very fancy five star hotel (although I’m not sure I’d be any more comfortable in a one star hotel, but you get my point).
Skirt hung, toilet paper strategically placed in toilet bowl I proceed to empty out the little bunny bullets of poo. It worked a treat!! An absolute treat, I am a genius!
Although I was incredibly stressed about doing it I knew I’d be better off not taking a full bag out for the day. I was pretty impressed with myself. I wipe the bag , flushed the loo, quickly exited the cubicle…and as I made my dash, in my anxious rush to get the hell out of there for fear of anyone coming in…I saw a flash of dark blue out of the coroner of my eye…and my brain took a nanosecond to catch up that that blue was my actually my skirt still hanging on the back of the door…the cubicle door was now wide open and I was exiting skirt-less. I rushed back in to the cubicle and put my skirt back on…all while laughing hysterically at my absurdity! (The genius now humbled, but luckily not humiliated. Thank god I realised when I did!).
It still keeps making me laugh now. More haste less speed required in future bag emptying endeavours.
The skirt in question 🫣😂
To help with my constipation I ordered this while I was away, and it was waiting for me by the time I got home.
I started them straight away. I knew I needed to buy some better laxatives, but I wanted something more natural, and kind on sensitive tums.
I’ve taken loads of these since I’ve been back. Yes, even home I’m still clogged up, a week after landing here.
It seems to be working, but gently, which although frustrating, it is better for my bowels. It’s never nice to go from one extreme to the other. This is taking a far more gentle approach.
Anyway, back to the food…
We only eat Indian food in India - Breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks.
🇮🇳
🫶🏼🙏🏼🥰
It’s all so tasty and delicious…
How could I say no to any of it.
The scenery and architecture…
(India is a land of extraordinary extremes. It has extreme poverty, and extreme wealth. Extreme weather, extremely magical ancient monuments, mountains and rivers. It is a feast for all of your senses).
…And the clothing…
How am I meant to carry on living my normal life knowing that all this is happening in my absence?
The post holiday come down is real. I am bereft. The food is shit in this house, really really shit, my complaints to the chef!!
(Me, my complaints are to me, about me!).
The other question I’ve been asked a few times is about how do I feel confident in a bikini.
And the simple answer is I have no idea.
I don’t have the best body in the world.
But all I ever think is it’s the best body I’ve got.
In reality how many more years have any of us got left on the planet?
How long have we got until the party is finally over?
I’ve already had stage 3 bowel cancer once, and a number of skin cancers cut out. I have no idea what the future holds for me. So rather than fretting about the small stuff I’m just happy and content with my life and body now.
At the moment everything is in working order. How long will that last? It’s the absolute unanswerable question.
So rather than wait until things are perfect, I’m going to do everything I want to now.
With gratitude, grace, contentment and peace.
Also, it’s highly unlikely I’m going to look better in the future, so I might as well enjoy the now.
I’m a 52 year old, colostomy bagged grandma, who’s carrying a little extra weight than she probably should…
But I am happy in my skin, because I am grateful to just still be here.
I had a very unusual interaction by pool in Udaipur.
I was just chilling (as much as you can whilst wearing ear plugs to block the noise of the wedding next door’s disco. I’m not a fan of the Macarena in general, but definitely not at full blast to the point our bedroom windows were shaking)…anyway, I stood up to go swim in the pool when a young man approached me.
He said “mam, what is that?” And pointed to my belly.
I was somewhat confused and taken aback, at first I wasn’t sure what he meant, I forget I have a stoma most of the time.
“…Huh? What’s whaaa…oh, right, I see. It’s a colostomy bag”
Blank expression
“It’s where I go to the toilet”
Blank expression
“A long time ago I had cancer…”
Startled expression
….”and the only way I could stay alive and get rid of all the bowel cancer was to have a stoma. So instead of an anus, I have a bag for poo”
And credit where credit is due, he didn’t look repulsed or disgusted.
He simply looked at me with sympathy and said “thank you, I didn’t know what it was so I wanted to ask”.
And he bid me farewell and went back to his duties.
It was a bit odd, not confronting or anything, not upsetting or disrespectful, it was simply someone wanted to know about something they didn’t know about.
And really what more can we ask of the world. It’s never happened in person before. I have it on social media sometimes. But not in the flesh.
I’m not sure everyone would take well to being questioned about their body, but I am a generally affable person, and I’m often curious about things myself, and more importantly my whole existence since I started this blog was to educate and inform people about stomas.
I do it also, to reassure people coming on behind me that life can still be absolutely bloody marvellous after cancer.
I had a message from a lady last week to say just that.
That seeing me off in the world having a blast has given her some comfort, she’s having stoma surgery next week and is feeling very anxious about it. But knowing good life is possible is really helpful.
(Sending love to anyone in the same situation. Be patient, stay calm, get as mobile as you can as soon as you can and don’t stop). Xx
I had questions about swimming too. This trip has been very informative for people. every day’s a school day and all that.
Yes! You can swim with a stoma bag, you can hot tub and steam room.
I can have massages, even while laying on my belly. Although I do have to make special preparations for that -
I generally avoid foods in the build up to a massage that I know will make me windy or have more output (a bit of a moot point on this holiday, but I still went through my check list of special measures).
I change my bag immediately prior to the massage. Just to make sure I can lay down comfortably.
Anything is possible with a stoma. I’ve never found anything that I wish to do that isn’t.
I was also asked for recommendations for planning a trip to India.
Must sees;
The Taj Mahal.
If you are going all the way to India you have to visit the Taj Mahal. It is sensational.
We stayed at the Oberoi in Agra (where else would we stay!?). Every room has a view of the Taj Mahal. It’s beautiful. I cried as I walked in the room.
Mumbai is vibrant, modern and fun. really enjoyed it, it’s fabulous, but that could be because we have friends who we adore there.
Delhi is wild and wonderful with some incredible historical landmarks. History buffs would have a field day, and a field trip come to that.
Udaipur is beautiful and clean, stunning palaces and scenery, but can be noisy in wedding season. So get in and get out quickly, rather than linger for relaxation. I’d probably stay at The Taj Lake Palace if I went again. It’s really beautiful and unique.
Jaipur is fabulous! Famous for gems and block printing and artisan shops. The rugs are to die for. I only wish I could have afforded the one I saw and fell in love with. Maybe next time. Like most of India it has some incredible historic places to visit. India does in general because it’s a very old civilisation.
Goa is super chill and beautiful. It’s a very different feel from northern India. It was a Portuguese colony, so it feels very European and Caribbean mixed. It is home to the most incredible sunsets I’ve ever seen. Great nightlife and party scene (if you like that sort of thing. I am boring, so I don’t).
Places on my list to visit next;
Jaisalmer
Jodhpur
Shimla
Khajuraho
Chandigarh
Darjeeling
Kerala
The problem is it’s so huge it’s hard to know where to choose next.
If you have any recommendations for places to visit please let me know.
I am happy to answer any other questions you may have.
Travel or stoma related…Or anything really, anything but maths. 🫣😂
One more thing I will say is that even with my limited knowledge and reading up on the part the British played in the history of India I am always pleasantly surprised and amazed at how gracious, warm and welcoming they are to us.
I’m not sure I’d be so forgiving if the reverse were true.
A few great reads for anyone interested.
Anyway, back to reality and my actual real life…
Still fun, but far less colourfully dressed beautiful women.
Top from Intimissimi, Jeans from M&S, Shoes from Gucci, Jacket from PDKF (the princess of Jaipur’s shop).
I’ve been out and about catching up with friends.
I got so many compliments on my new jacket, which was really nice.
Faux shirt from Temu, Jumper from PDKF Store In Jaipur, Trousers from M&S in New Delhi, Shoes from Dior from good ole Harrods.
It was a very special day on Saturday, we picked up my parents and then headed down to see Sam, Milly and Zak, in celebration of his 7th birthday! 🎂
He is such a blessing, I appreciate all children are (or should be). He is kind and funny and very entertaining.
I can’t believe he’s seven now, where has the time gone?
Sam and Milly put on a great lunch and Zak introduced us to his new gerbils, so basically my great grandchildren 🐹🤩😂
I was really taken with them, I’ve never owned gerbils before, I didn’t know they were as interactive as they are.
He is the centre of our universe 🥰
Then Sunday Chris and I had a very lazy morning, then went to a garden centre (unsuccessful, not the dopamine hit I was hoping for), and then out for a Sunday roast at the pub we like.
Top from Maje, Jeans from M&S, Shoes from Dior.
The stuff we bought in India is starting to arrive…
We did something new this time in India. We saw some things we loved but couldn’t get back home with us, so we shipped it.
Inspired by our friends Paddy and Kaf, who used to do it a lot, and it always seemed so exotic and exciting, and my dad who did it in the 60s when he was backpacking around India.
Chris and I aren’t audacious well seasoned travellers, we’re not feeble travellers as such, but we’ve never been bold ones either, but we decided to live a little and go for it anyway.
The first shipment arrived safe and sound, with another one on its way for this week.
10/10 would recommend, it’s a lovely little boost to the anticlimactic return to reality.
And these fabrics from @fabrichouseudaipur (on Instagram) are absolutely stunning! I can’t wait to go back and buy some more, but for now I’m so happy with these beautiful mementos of an incredible adventure.
I bought these bed quilts in the fabulous shop in Udaipur, the owner is very proud of the fact the he made some of the clothing for the actors in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel films, 1 and 2.
They happen to be two of Chris and I’s favourite films. We watch them on repeat, and have watched both since we’ve been home. They very much capture the feeling and sights and sounds of India.
Anyway, I bought bed spreads for all of the beds, and some fabric to make into something, as yet unknown.
They are all hand made, hand block printed and incredibly beautiful.
If you were ever wondering what sort of person I am. Well, I’m apparently the sort of person who is too polite to tell the masseuse that they are hurting me.
So while she virtually tortured me I stayed completely silent…and at the end said thank you very much and gave her a tip…
The results of her butchery are now etched onto my skin. Absolutely agony, and currently struggling to get a bra on.
In all my life I’ve never had such a violent massage, and never one so concentrated on my armpit and one shoulder 🫣😩🤷🏼♀️😂
It’s been a great week back home after such a fun adventure.
We are in the process of building our next trip.
But this year holds a lot more adventures to come. I’m off to Valencia for a meeting this weekend, so that will be fun, as long as WW3 doesn’t erupt while I’m there.
🙏🏼🌍