Finding a way through the trepidation of holidaying with any kind of stoma is a huge challenge. So I was so happy to hear from people, after my last blog, who had taken the leap of faith and been away.
I think it’s something that those without stomas don’t get the enormity of those challenges, or any of the day to day challenges come to that.
I think we’ve been conditioned to think stomas are bad, but with no nuance or understanding.
There is often a lot to take into account when going away from home, from taking enough supplies, to bag leaks in awkward locations.
And I say this as someone who absolutely loves life with a stoma, and has actually flourished with it.
I’m not just surviving, I’m literally thriving.
I prefer this bag life to the misdiagnosed years (obviously I wouldn’t prefer it to having well behaved, in perfect working order bowels. That said I can find so many up sides to having my colostomy, so maybe I do prefer it). 🤷🏼♀️
I live a fabulous life probably because I have a very well behaved stoma. I’ve had very few leaks over the last 15 years, but even I get agitated and nervous about the possibility of a leak.
So I think it’s incredibly admirable for anyone who has an unpredictable stoma to be getting on with life come what may.
They are my heroes, anyone who decides that their bag won’t get in the way of enjoying life is.
It was so good to hear from people who have gone for it, and flown off on holiday. Good for you!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
I only experience a fraction of what other stoma users do because I have very slow, solid output, it’s a totally different ball game.
There are some products on the market that can help firm up looser output, which can help make travelling, or life in general come to that, a little easier.
I knew of Morform, and googled a bit more and found these other ones as well.
I have no idea if they are any good or not, I haven’t ever used them because I have the reverse issue.
I’m pretty much constipated all of the time. Great for travelling, not so great for feeling fabulous.
But if I were nervous of my stoma output and, I wanted to travel I’d definitely give one of these a go.
Our road trip was a fab experience, and it would definitely suit anyone too nervous to fly with a stoma.
Challenges come and we were made to find our way through them, over them or under them & round them ~ never letting them stop us. 🤍
My life, as it turns out, is not a worse or lesser version because I have a stoma.
I get to dress well (this was a big concern pre op). I get to travel (I couldn’t actually do this pre misdiagnosis and fully symptomatic of cancer).
Anything I could do back then I can do now, apart from one thing, and one thing only.
Although I am fully aware of the downsides of having a stoma, my focus has, and always will be on the upsides to it.
I really really value the convenience of having a bag at all times.
Plus, over the years I have often seen my unbagged friends wide eyed in panic, in desperate need to find a toilet, and in that moment I know I’m the lucky one.
I don’t miss that. I really really don’t.
I like that I get up, shower, change my bag and I’m good to go for the rest of the day. I wouldn’t want the uncertainty of not knowing when I’d need a toilet.
I have always been able to find the positives in any situation. And I’m very grateful for that ability.
I had such a fabulous week last week, we got to experience some really interesting things.
I took myself off to London on Tuesday to pick up a ring I’d had made.
Long story short I had a ring I’d stopped wearing, and around the same time I really fancied having a pinkie ring.
So rather than buy a new one, I had the old one remade into something infinitely more wearable, and it worked out perfectly.
I went dressed pretty casually, as I have no idea what this weather is doing, plus if I’m on a day out by myself, I usually dress in a safer, less likely to leak way.
I don’t know why I get so much more emboldened when I’m out with company, maybe it’s because I’m planning on blaming someone else for any smells that may arise. 🤩😂
If I’m going down I’m absolutely wholeheartedly taking everyone with me. 🥰
I haven’t had any bag failures in years, but I still dress with the fear and awareness of the possibility in mind.
Shirt from Ralph Lauren, Trousers from H&M, bag from Goyard, Shoes from Hermes
The ring was made by the company who made my Bowel Replacement Therapy ring, a little nickname I called it at the time 15 years ago.
Back then I was starting my HRT journey for the loss of my ovaries during the whole bowel cancer treatment extravaganza, so it tickled my fancy.
When Chris had the re-engagement ring made for me there were only the drawings to go by.
(Chris and I have been married to each other twice. Once nearly 30 years ago, and once a year after my cancer diagnosis. He asked me to re marry him while I was on my sick bed, pretty rough. He knew how to motivate me to get well).
It’s all high tech now, the designer can 3D print the ring in resin so you get to see what it would look like on your hand. It’s so clever.
I’m so happy with how it turned out. I breathed a new lease of life into something that had been largely sidelined.
While I was in town I took myself to Me & Em to see the latest autumn pieces.
I really liked a lot of it, but I knew I had a big week ahead, so I decided, quite unlike me, to hold off and see what the week would bring.
I might pop back for this dress though as it fit so well and felt really good on.
I’m limping along at the moment as I am due for my B12 injection, and I’m really feeling it.
So I’m full of energy for things I want to do, determination is a powerful tool, but I’m a washed out wreck of a human the rest of the time.
Top from Tommy Hilfiger, Trousers from H&M, Shoes from M&S.
Then it came to Thursday, now this was a very very exciting day.
Chris, and a guest (me 🙋🏼♀️, me please!) were invited to the unveiling of the new window display at Hermes in New Bond Street in London.
We didn’t get much info other that the invite, we had no idea of the format or what exactly would happen, but we are both very much a “fuck it, let’s do it!” couple.
Did it matter we didn’t know what it was all about? Absolutely not.
We felt we’d find out along the way, at some stage it’s going to be the first time you try something.
Anyway, it’s a very pleasant way to spend a week day evening as it turns out.
It was a little nerve racking, because what on earth do you wear for such a high fashion event.
Chris and I are not arty or high fashion people.
I like nice clothes, Chris couldn’t care less what he wears ~ neither of us are fashionistas.
So I just chose something I’d bought a few weeks ago hoping to find an occasion to wear them.
The top is one of the Intimissimi vests that work as tops or base layers.
I absolutely love this outfit on. I felt good in it. I had two really nice compliments from strangers so that was really nice (not at the Hermes event I hasten to add).
Top from Intimissimi, Trousers from Me & Em, Boots from Dune
Chris had been in London at a meeting all day, so I got the train up and met him after he finished work.
We had a bit of dinner beforehand because there’s nothing worse than getting somewhere and finding out there’s no food, and I’m a narky little bunny if unfed.
I needn’t have fretted, of course they thought of everything.
There was a canapés and drinks reception, so that was a nice touch.
Basically the whole point of the evening is to unveil and showcase their latest window installation.
This season’s window was created by a Colombian artist, who was there to explain his work.
It was so interesting hearing where his passion comes from and what his inspiration for the display was.
“Is it fab~ulous darrrrrlinnng?”
I have no idea, I know nothing about the art scene, but I did think it was very clever, innovative, and incredibly striking…And he seemed like a very humble pleasant man, which was nice.
So the format was, everyone arrives, you all get signed in. Drinks and nibbles a plenty. Then we all go outside while the blinds are lifted and the window display is displayed. Oooh and ahhh admiringly, then back into be signed in. Followed by more drinking and nibbles and live music from a very interesting arty type musician, also from Colombia. 🇨🇴
It was absolutely fabulous and fascinating. We had such a nice time and were made incredibly welcome. And as we’d never been invited before it was a really fantastic experience.
Did we feel out of place? Well, no, not really, all humans belong wherever they want to be.
I assumed it would be a shopping evening event, but it actually wasn’t. The store was firmly closed for transactions. It really was simply to showcase their latest window. And I thought that was so classy and cool.
Who knew all these weird and wonderful things go on without us having any idea. It was pretty interesting to see behind the curtain, even if it was only for a few hours.
We both really enjoyed it, and even if we never get invited again, at least we experienced this time.
Friday I had my follow up appointment for the little skin cancers I had removed at the beginning of the year. I’m happy to report they are both gone and no further treatment needed. So that’s a relief.
As I was leaving his office the plastic surgeon said “and wear your factor 50, because I don’t want to see you back again, in the nicest way possible”
Believe me, I slap on the 50.
My dad used to be such a sun worshipper and now he’s paying the price of that by having to have loads of skin cancers cut off his face, head and body, and it does not look fun.
Dress from Ralph Lauren, Shoes from Chanel.
Then Saturday came around and this was also a first for us!
The same week Chris got the invite to the window unveiling, he was invited to the Hermes private sale.
Same deal as before, he got the invite, but was allowed to take a guest 🙋🏼♀️🥰.
I didn’t even know Hermes had sales.
I know Dior, Prada, Fendi etc do. But the likes of Hermes, Chanel, Louis Vuitton and Goyard do not. They don’t have any presence at designer outlet villages etc.
So finding out they do have sales, but they are invitation only, and held off site was very intriguing.
I have seen a few influencers calling it a sample sale, but that’s not the experience we had. I think maybe these people hear a word, don’t check what it means and then repeat said word to sound like they know something.
It was very much a case of older stock sale, like any other shop having a sale is.
It’s super secure and very secret squirrel esque.
You need the invite, official photo ID 🪪 like a passport or drivers license.
You choose a day and a time slot. And you go at that time, no earlier.
It’s very strict.
You get pre checked at the door, then a bag check, then you get officially checked in, then you have to leave all your own bags at reception (they give you a coat check tag to pick it back up at the end). You should have seen the faces of the women who had ignored the details stated in the invite when they were told they had to leave their Birkins and Kellys behind.
The invite clearly states “Do not wear anything Hermes to this event”.
And then your phone has to either stay in your bag at the reception area, or it can go in a frosted locked pouch.
Absolutely no filming or photography allowed.
It was so well set out, no crowds, no crush, just calm, sedate shopping.
It was the best sale I’ve ever been to! I hate the scrum and the free for all sales tend to be like. So I shop in sales online mainly.
I made my way to shoes first, where I tried on and loved 4 pairs, which fit beautifully so I put them in my basket (bag).
Weirdly two pairs were exactly what I was after, so that was a bonus. Plus two pairs I just really liked.
Chris bought a pair of shoes for himself too. Cheeky little minx.
Then I had a look at the jewellery section but there really wasn’t much there.
Then I went to scarves and twillies and bought quite a lot there.
Then I went back to clothing because I had bypassed it initially because my preference is always going to be shoes and accessories.
I tried on a gorgeous skirt which had been reduced to half price!! Bargain! 🫣
…It was still £1500…and Chris said it made me look like Miss Trunchbowl, so that was the end of that.
Quite where I thought I’d have worn it I have no idea, but it was beautiful in my opinion, just not in my generous benefactor’s opinion.
The clothes were very expensive and very beautiful.
High fashion is made for the willowy, posh, pale, tall, titless types…and sadly I am the opposite to that in all and every way possible
A short little podge with thirst for beautiful things and a zest for life…and I have to content myself with that 🤩
I did find a really nice T shirt I liked, so I bought that.
Was it more because I wanted to own a piece of Hermes clothing? Yes, I imagine so, but as I was there I thought I might as well.
The buying process at the end is long and convoluted because you have to have it all checked for the possibility of people thieving anything.
But all the staff were lovely, helpful and incredibly polite, bearing in mind they are not employees of Hermes, they are employed by the third party company which Hermes use for their sales.
All in all I had a blast! I have some gorgeous pieces that will last me years to come. And I very much appreciated being invited.
*The recent Hermes sale at Alexandra Palace was an invite-only private sale, not a public sample sale. Customers who are part of the Hermes online newsletter and have a history of boutique purchases receive invitations to the event. The sale offered discounts on ready-to-wear and accessories, but not Birkin or Kelly bags.
Key details about the Hermes sale:
Invite-Only: The sale is a private event for select Hermes customers.
Not a Sample Sale: It is a private sale event, not a public sample sale where anyone can shop.
Location: The event took place at Alexandra Palace in London.
Discounts: Discounts were available on items like ready-to-wear, hats, gloves, and fashion jewelry.
No Birkins or Kellys: Bags like Birkins and Kelly bags were not available at the sale.
We’d never been before, so it was really nice to be invited.
I spoke to a few people in there and they said how well run it was this year, with plentiful stock to choose from, and bear in mind, we could only make it there on the final day, it was still well stocked.
If we ever get invited again I’d go at the beginning of the week.
Top from Intimissimi, Jeans from M&S, Shoes and bag from Dior.
The venue was perfect for the event. Not terribly easy to get to but very light and spacious inside, which made a huge impact on the overall experience.
I came home a very happy little shopped out bunny.
I don’t know much in this life, I wasn’t blessed with brains or beauty, but shopping? shopping I know!
I was incredibly impressed by the options available. And the fact that two of the pairs I was going to be buying this year anyway was a huge bonus.
I actually said before I went I really would like black leather loafers and black summer sliders. It seems unbelievable to have actually found some at the sale.
The sneakers were just an added delight.
The next day Chris and I headed into London to meet with Erin and Ben to look at a wedding venue they had fallen in love with, which is absolutely perfect.
Very young, cool, not exorbitantly expensive, with great views out over London from the rooftop terrace.
I wish more people would focus on having a marriage rather than a wedding day, the price of weddings these days is crazy, it’s all got a bit out of control, as people want the most instagram-able impact possible.
Best have a very pleasant wedding and take no debt from one day into married life in my opinion, but what do I know. 🤷🏼♀️
I mean, I have been married nearly 30 years so I know a little about marriage.
Don’t marry a dickhead
That’s it…this applies to men and women alike.
Top from Intimissimi, Trousers from Ralph Lauren, Shoes are new from the Hermes sale the day before. Is it wise to wear new shoes to traipse around London in on their first day out?
No! But did I look super spiffy? Yes!
We saw the venue, we l loved it and they booked it. And then we went for lunch at a really nice little Thai place near Marylebone.
Then Chris and I headed off to The Royal Albert Hall for a very special occasion.
Our friends Kim and Matt have twin daughters, and one of them has more complex needs than the other.
So as with most things in life, the person who has the most needs gets more attention.
Not out of malice, but just simply, that’s life unfortunately. Our Ben had a very similar experience when Sam was going through cancer treatment.
Her parents are amazing, and her mum especially is nigh on super human in her dedication and care for them. It’s so hard for everyone involved, no one is able to be all things to everyone at once.
So when Bel wanted to join a drama club, and then the first week she started applied to be part of a huge production we all delighted in that for her!
It was her time to shine. And she really did.
Now, to explain, I’m dead inside, I hate theatre, I find it all utterly cringe, like scraping finger nails down a chalk board, I’m not a fan at all.
Plus I dislike crowds too, but this show was worth suspending my normal service for.
As much as I wasn’t exactly looking forward to it, I was excited for her and her big stage debut.
I mean, her first performance and she’s on stage at The Royal Albert Hall?!? How incredible is that!
(It was actually surprisingly good, there were some cracking performances).
Chris surprised me and booked a box - although not through choice, but it was all that was left. It was a sell out show. I’ve never been in a box before, and to be honest, I think I could watch anything up there away from the crowds, but I appreciate it’s unlikely to happen again).
As with all things, I’m happy I got to experience it this time.
Bel was so fabulous! She really gave it her all, utterly brilliant!
It was absolutely brilliant!! Well done Bel! Reach for the stars 🌟 xx
Now this week I need a lie down because I am tir~ed, but what a week that was!
Keep well, see you soon xx