We had another adventure last weekend, but I feel this one was even more precious than most trips I get to go on, and that’s really saying something, because I love all and any chance for travel.
Travelling with a stoma is nerve racking, I won’t deny that, it’s a test of fortitude, and although I find it more difficult in some ways, I also find it less daunting in others.
Yes I fret about whether my bag will leak contents or a filter failure, but I cannot forget that I found travelling pre diagnosis impossible.
I was mis-diagnosed for many many years. So firstly I am incredibly lucky to still be here. And secondly I am extremely grateful to be able to travel.
I didn’t fly anywhere in the misdiagnosed, symptomatic years.
I just couldn’t/wouldn’t take the risk of a mishap happening on a plane.
A bag is far more preferable than a rectum that fails you in my opinion. Look at all the places I get to go. Have bag, will travel.
So for those that turn their nose up at someone having to have a stoma, my statement would be “I understand no one is desperately excited to have one, but my god it beats the alternatives in so many ways”.
Ps, don’t knock it till you try it because my stoma life experience is 10 times better than my pre diagnosis one, actually, it’s better than a lot of unbagged people come to that, because it’s made me appreciate life more and jump at all and any opportunities.
I do not let the grass under my feet. I pretty much have a grab bag ready by the door so if someone suggests going somewhere I’m in!
In a lot of ways my stoma has improved my life. Cancer wasn’t fun, but weirdly, having it lead me to a different place.
Or maybe I’m just not letting it take anymore from me than it has already, and I’m simply just being defiant, living a good life to spite it! 🤷🏼♀️ Who knows.
All I know is I bloody love life. I love living it to the fullest.
Anyway, back to the last trip away;
In January my dad made a comment in passing that he regretted not having been to Carcassone, and that now approaching 85 he didn’t feel up to the journey.
And it struck me that actually, I’d always wanted to go there, so why not arrange a trip where Chris and I (but mainly Chris) would take care of everything.
All my mum and dad would have to do is pack a bag and get their passports ready, we’d sort the rest.
I tentatively suggested this plan to my mum later that day once they’d gone home. I didn’t expect him to agree really, they like their own company. I hoped he would but my expectation was that he’d say no thank you.
But actually he literally jumped at the chance!
He cracked us up because he turned to my mum once Chris and I had booked it all and said “oh god, now I’ve got to live to September!”
Like he wasn’t planning to, or for that matter has any say in it. 😂😂😂 (just to be clear, he’s not ill).
Anyway, we booked it way back in January, and as luck would have it, we were all alive to go on the trip.
I was so excited about going. It was as special as it was important. Time flies and we sometimes forget to do the things that we want to.
Let me set the scene, the day before the trip I cleaned out my shed which was incredibly dusty, and I was sneezing, coughing and my throat was quite sore. I assumed it was dust related, and in hindsight I was very wrong.
Turns out that coincidentally to the dust exposure, I was going down with a horrendous viral infection.
This has been the illest I’ve been in a very long time. I have tested a few times when I got back from France, but as far as the tests show it’s not Covid, but it’s got to be Covid’s cousin or something because I was so ill, I still am, all this time later.
My mum messaged to say she wasn’t feeling too well with a cold, but fit enough to go, so we did.
(Imagine if this was 5 years ago, we’d have been wrestled to the ground and put in an isolation facility.
Neither of us had any idea how bad the bug would turn out to be. So be warned, be careful, mask, and hand gel like mad. This is to be avoided at all costs).
Please forgive the state of me in these upcoming photos. I felt like death warmed up, actually, not even that good. ☠️🫣😂
Off we went on our adventure, to the Medieval citadel of Carcassone in France, which despite the virus’s best efforts was absolutely fantastic!
10/10
5 stars🌟
would recommend
(caveat to that, if you are fit well and able bodied go now! Put down anything you are doing ~ and go this minute).
The terrain is challenging, in both getting up to the castle and around the citadel itself.
We managed and we had a fabulous time, but it was obviously far harder on the cobbled streets for my parents, so going while you are fit and healthy is borderline essential.
But I feel so lucky and fortunate to have had the privilege to holiday with them, I don’t think I’ve been on holiday with them since I was a child.
I know people who have lost a parent, even two, some at a very young age, so for me, a 52 year old grandma myself to go on holiday with my parents was such a special experience, one that I will treasure forever.
Long sleeve top from Intimissimi, Jumper, Jeans & Shoes from M&S.
(A reminder to all that we live on rip off island, so if you’re going to mainland Europe at all soon stock up on Intimissimi clothing there, because it’s so much cheaper).
Jumper from Reiss, Jeans from M&S
My travel outfit was a somewhat bold choice, tight jeans for flying in? Madness. But I had an outfit created in my head so I gave it a go.
I did unzip the jeans once I was seated on the plane to reduce the amount of pressure on my bag.
Have I got a life hack for you!!
Do you have a big bust? Well, I do, and I do love them very much - they grew in the space of 3 weeks when I was just about to turn 17, it was somewhat confronting, having been like an ironing board for the preceding 17 years, plus I was pretty much still playing with dolls and toys, I was very young for my age, so I found it a bit of a confusing time.
Anyway, since that weird growth spurt they have been a bit tricky to dress.
Big boobs aren’t classy in my opinion, and they can make an outfit look bulky and lumpy, and at times - cheap (don’t get me wrong, they fill out some outfits beautifully, you just have to dress with their shape in mind).
One thing I often struggle to find is a really nice fitting blouse or shirt that doesn’t bulge or gape over the chest area.
I was trying to find a brand online that I felt would work. I was discussing it with my friend Maria in Dubai and she recommended a really nice brand, but I was stumped at the sizing chart online, and then I just happened to walk past Chris’s wardrobe and saw his work shirts just hanging there, taunting me, so I popped one on…And they are a dream fit across my boobs!
A few years ago I had an incredibly humbling experience when I needed something “baggy” to wear so I tried some of Chris’s clothes only to find they were skin tight on me. I was shook I can tell you!
But as it turns out men’s size 16 collar shirts are a perfect fit for my body.
A few friends saw my Stories on instagram and gave it a try too, it worked a treat for them as well, so I know it’s not just me.
Shirt from Chris’s work wear wardrobe (but originally from Charles Tyrwhitt), Jeans from M&S, Shoes and Belt from Hermes, Bag from Goyard.
I might take a few of them to my tailor to shorten them for me (let’s not bother Chris with the details), and I really think they will be spot on.
As promised Chris and I said we’d arrange everything for the trip, with a door to door service.
We picked them up from their home, got them through the airport and off to sunny France.
How incredibly lucky am I. 🤍
Our first stop, once we picked up the hire car was to the supermarket. If you know me you’ll know I have this habit of playing at life.
I tend to treat it like one giant dolls house, a world of endless possibilities and make believe.
And one of those fantasy scenarios is living in France, riding around on a beautiful bike with a basket, or walking round a French market with a wicker basket full of fresh vegetables, draped over the top, and baguettes and cheeses.
So I had a lovely time in the supermarket.
(*by the way, I’d very much suggest hiring a car, that way once you’ve done Carcassonne you can travel to the near by villages, they are worth the drive).
I left the booking of the accommodation for the trip up to Chris, he likes to find little treasures, and he came up trumps with this one.
A beautiful rental house backing on to the castle walls, it couldn’t have been better.
First things first was to have a slap up meal of cheese and baguettes, because let’s face it, it’s almost the law when in France, and rightly so.
Meats and cheeses always pleases 🤩😂
Then we decided to tackle the castle. Like I said, the terrain is somewhat challenging, but we all managed.
It’s an incredible place, and once most of the tourists leave come the evening you have it to yourself, mostly.
There are busier areas in there, with lots of restaurants and bars, plus while we were there there was a techno music festival (not my cup of tea, but very very popular with people far more fun and cool than I am). Hahahah.
We had a good look round the city and then went back to the car to visit a viewing area Chris had read about.
It’s an impressive piece of history.
Waking up to be greeted out the window with a view of the castle was fabulous.
As was our French breakfast. 🥰
There are few things in life better than fresh wares from the boulangerie.
Shirt from Ralph Lauren (from my own personal collection), Jeans from M&S, Jumper from N. Peal, Shoes from Scarosso
We decided that as we were having a guided tour of Carcassone citadel on the following day, we’d go and explore the new town.
In France, and Spain, and come to that probably most of mainland Europe not much opens on Sunday, it’s a family day.
In the UK we’re used to it being pretty much the same as a normal day, with just shorter opening times.
As expected Carcassonne was very pretty, but very closed up. So we headed off to a mountain village nearby that Chris had read about.
There is a great mixture of architecture in the city/town.
Hiring a car means that you can drive around the area, the hillside village of Minerve is definitely worth seeing. It’s very beautiful.
Then we headed back to Carcassone for a daylight stroll and some dinner.
The handy thing about not drinking alcohol is you can take whatever pain relief you need. And I needed a lot, which didn’t even come close to touching the sore throat, and the glands in my throat the size of golf balls (not even an exaggeration).
I suggested to Chris that he try a Cassoulet - when you’re in the area it’s a must.
It’s a rich, hearty, slow-cooked French stew from the Languedoc region of Southern France, traditionally made with white beans, various meats like pork and Toulouse sausage, and aromatic herbs. The dish is slow-cooked in an earthenware pot called a cassole, leading to a deep flavour and a golden, crusty top.
I don’t eat meat but I had a few of the beans and gravy and it was delicious.
I had a seared tuna steak which was absolutely delicious. We had another walk round the city in the dark, which was so lovely.
Then the next day it was time for our guided tour. Chris always books a private one so we don’t have to stick to the regimented structure, and you can asked plenty of questions as you go along.
It’s just an all round more pleasant experience.
Shirt and T shirt from M&S, Jeans from Topshop, Shoes from Hermes
Never happier in France than coming home from a boulongerie.
After a feast of bread, cheeses, and patisserie we headed out to the village of Latours, with more history and castles.
Then once back at the house Chris and I decided for one last sunset stroll around the fortress. I wanted to walk the perimeter wall.
There’s a fabulous ice cream shop in there which was definitely worth a visit
I had wanted to come here for a very long time, and unbeknownst to me so had my dad.
I’m so glad we all had this adventure together. It was such a fun family trip.
My mum and I could have timed our bugs better, but that’s life isn’t it. We make plans and god laughs.
Shirt from Ralph Lauren (mine), Trousers from M&S, Jumper from N.Peal, Shoes and Belt Hermes.
We had to check out of the holiday rental very early. Our flight wasn’t until the afternoon, so we decided to have a leisurely walk to the newer town of Carcassone for a final look round. Mainly I wanted to see it with the shops open, as I had seen something in a children’s shop I wanted to buy.
Well, it turns out there aren’t that many other shops on a week day either. Although I did buy myself a new water bottle. I thought it was adorable, and just in case it potentially went the same way as my Labubu, I bought Zak one too.
There wasn’t much else to do, so Chris rather out of character suggested a river cruise. We are not water babies, I’m not even that keen on getting wet in the shower, and we’re both terribly seasick.
But it seemed like a great way to fill up the time till we needed to head to the airport.
I’m so glad he suggested it, it was fantastic!
In fairness I was already feeling sick as a dog, so the boat ride wouldn’t have made much difference.
It was lovely though!
And I now actually quite fancy doing the whole of that canal from the Mediterranean Sea to the Atlantic Ocean some time, it was really very restful.
Imagine a whole 15 days of baguette, cheeses and croissants with Bon Mamam jam. 🥰
*I did laugh last night. I was showing Sam, Milly and Zak my new water bottle.
*For some reason in my head I thought it was an octopus. 🐙 It was Milly who pointed out it’s actually a jellyfish 🪼.
It really cracked me up, why did I think it was an octopus? I’m not an expert on sea life, admittedly, but even I should have realised it had way too many legs. 😂
Imagine how glorious 15 days of this would be. We’re already planning holidays for next year, of course we are. We have a two week trip to India booked in, but we’re debating on whether to do another driving holiday in my car again, possibly to Italy, or maybe boating down the Canal Du Midi.
My mum took these photos, and again, I can’t remember the last time she would have taken a photo of me. 🥰
We had a lovely little boating detour, and then on to the airport for home.
The trip was everything I had hoped for. And I feel incredibly lucky and fortunate. I wish I’d felt better and my mum too, but it is what it is.
And an adventure is always a good idea.
My boys missed me, and jumped on me as soon as I let them out.
Some people have asked me what I do with them while I’m away.
They are so much easier than any other pet I’ve ever had before. They are very self contained.
They have a nice cage for daily use, plus they fly around the living room when I’m here.
But they get into mischief at times, so I can’t leave them free flying if I’m not around.
So I bought them a holiday cage, that I attach to their normal cage, which although it’s not as fun for them as the living room, it’s certainly not awful for them.
*My B12 injection was due when I got home and as much as I was feeling a little better, I was still at the tail end of the lurgy, so I face masked and anti bact-ed my hands because no one needs to catch this.
So many of my friends and their friends are ill at the moment, I have friends all over the world and they are all ill with it too.
Is this Covid 25?
I was due to have my flu jab the day after we got home too, but my friend, who is a GP, advised against it for the week.
I will get it done as soon as I can though.
Shirt from Chris’s wardrobe (it’s hard to stop) Jeans from M&S, Shoes from Hermes
What I needed when I got home was a few days recovering, but what I decided to do was unpack and get the washing done.
And it’s that quest that led me to fall full force against the wall with my face, gouged skin off one leg and bruised the other.
Ben did point out that I find falls and falling pretty funny, and it’s true I usually do.
But I think it tipped me over the edge because I did a bit of a frustrated angry cry on this occasion, then sat laughing through my tears. What else can you do.
Chris came home and did a bit of a crime scene investigation.
And it looks like the outside back door mat slipped from under my feet as I stepped on it.
Which sent me flying backwards falling quickly, landing hard, injuring me.
The irony is not lost on me that I got around that entire cobbled, hilly castle keep without incident only to crash into the wall here in my home.
Then the day after the fall I bent down to pull my jeans up and my back went into spasm and that is where it’s remained. I think it’s fair to say I’ve had better weeks.
(But actually, I’ve had worse too).
Stay safe, it’s brutal out there. Keep well. ❤️🩹
Stock up on pain meds, throat spray, throat lozenges, throat drops, throat everything, because if you do unfortunately go down with it you’ll need everything you can get your hands on.
I’d recommend Diflam.
Also worth remembering to never put anything off, if there’s something you want to do do it asap, because if you don’t you might have to go on holiday with me to see it at some stage. 🤩
I’m going on holiday soon so my legs are going to look a treat in my bikini 👙 😂
I saw this on Instagram and it really made me laugh…
I thought I lived a good life in spite of the issues I’ve had, but maybe I’m doing it out of spite 😂😂😂🤩
That would be a proper fuck you cancer!
Keep well, see you soon.
Xx
More adventures ahead for us, and hopefully fully healthy ones. 🙏🏼
*It was world ostomy day on October 4th.
A day to reflect, celebrate or commiserate stomas.
I live a very nice life, but that’s not everyone’s experience.
So as much as I celebrate mine, I completely understand that it’s not the same for everyone.
It’s okay to feel how you feel. You should not be expected to feel happy about it if you’re not.
You are allowed your emotions. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.
But for me personally I’m very happy with my life. I love every minute of life - bag included.
Having to have a stoma isn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.
That is saved for when my son was diagnosed with stage 3 Nasopharyngeal cancer aged 13, or when my youngest son suffered suicidal ideation from the trauma of Sam and I’s diagnoses, while he himself was only 11.
So you see I can’t possibly feel negatively about my stoma because I can only see all the good things it’s allowed me to do.
I am here, I am alive, I am content, and more importantly my sons are both here happy, healthy and alive too. 🙏🏼
That’s all I need. 🙏🏼
Xx