I want to dedicate this blog to a dear friend who passed away this week.
She was a force of nature, she stood her ground against cancer for the last 14 years, she was incredible, I have been in awe of her courage in the face of such a difficult time, she threw everything at doing what had to be done to stay here. I am so utterly heartbroken for her family, she was such an amazing person, and in so many ways the reason I live as big a life as possible is in honour of her, and all my other friends and family who passed way too soon.
We are here for such a critically short time. We have to get out of this mindset of I’ll be happy when, I’ll do it when…to put it bluntly ‘when’ might not come ~ so do it now.
It’s not a cliche to say we only live once, or we’re only here for a short time, it’s real, it’s true, and I wish we could all live by it.
The reason I pour myself into charity endeavours is because I know that I’m so so bloody lucky to still be here, I have to feel like it was for a reason and to give myself purpose.
But really the only reason I am here is because I got lucky. That’s it, nothing more to it ~ luck.
None of my friends who have died did anything different to me during their cancer treatment. In fact some of them put a hell of a lot more effort in, being willing to trial new treatments even when they felt like giving up. They carried on, hoping to make the difference.
But all it comes down to is luck of the draw. So I have to live with enough enthusiasm and determination for me to feel like I belong here.
I need and want to honour the people who haven’t had the chance to and live life in bold technicolour by living well and living happily.
No fretting about things that don’t really matter. The main one being our outside shell.
We have to stop this ridiculous nonsense of slagging our host body off.
It’s giving us life, this amazing, wonderful, beautiful life, appreciate it in real time.
To be so preoccupied with how we look, rather than what our bodies enable us to do is the biggest con we’ve been sold.
The best version of you, the best version of your body, is the one that’s able to live life happily, experiencing everything it has to offer.
I will never stop being grateful for my body, it’s not perfect, and nor does it need to be. But it’s perfectly good for what I need it for.
I am determined to Live with gratitude. Living without regrets. Living with my whole self open to new possibilities, opportunities and experiences - living.🤍
I have lost so many people too early. So many of them didn’t get the chance to make old bones, not even close for such a lot of them.
I cannot and will not buy into all the self loathing shite we are meant to torment ourselves with.
The type of fun you enjoy doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else, I know I give very few fucks about what other people think about me and how I live. I enjoy what I enjoy, if other people enjoy that too then that’s lovely, if they don’t, well, that’s okay too it doesn’t diminish my pleasure.
Find your joy and live there. 🩷
It’s been a busy time for us. Purposefully so, because I tend to want to get my Christmas celebrating done early.
I’m not one for gatherings nearer actual Christmas time because I find people really like to spread infectious diseases 🦠…as well as Christmas cheer as we get closer to the big day.
Having had flu/covid/throat and chest infection (who knows what) a few weeks back I’m in no particular rush to do that again.
So we tend to get a lot done in November, and early December.
There was an exhibition at The National Gallery that Chris knew I would like, so we headed to that the other day. Plus a little meal at our favourite restaurant after, and a trip to the shops, yes, it’s pretty clear my pleasure is found in the comforting bosom of stores.
Top from Intimissimi, Skirt from M&S, Jacket from Zara, Shoes from Hermes, Bag from Dior
The tights were absolutely fabulous, but I have no idea what make they are as they have no label, I would have bought loads if I had found one.
They covered up the falling over scarring beautifully. 🫣😂
The exhibition is on Pointillism, I’m a very big fan of Impressionist art and artists, and Pointillism is all under the same umbrella more or less.
I assumed they’d be moving their Pissarro and Seurat pieces, which they have on permanent display, but actually it was a whole different collection, which has been brought over from the Netherlands. I had never seen any of them before.
It’s an incredible display, definitely worth a visit.
We decided to walk everywhere, so from the National we walked to St James to have a quick look around Fortnum and Mason. Always a pleasure, and while we were there we treated ourselves to a lovely little treat in there (their biscuits 🍪 (cookies for my US friends) are absolutely delicious).
But due to our new healthy eating habits we decided on one tin, rather than the five we’d have usually scoffed in minutes.
I found the most appropriate tree decoration for me…Prawn Lady found a prawn cocktail 😂
We then walked to Chutney Mary for the most delicious meal.
My obligatory mirror selfie in Chutney Mary
And then on to our favourite shop, where I had the rather fabulous opportunity to try on some beautiful shiny things. Quite honestly, you don’t have to ask me twice if I’d like to try anything on, but these earrings were just insane!
Six hundred thousand GB pounds of insane. If I had a spare 600k they’d be on my list, sadly I don’t even have £60 in my Vinted account currently so they will have to wait for me.
Each earring is a diamond with an emerald, and the sizes swap on each ear.
Can I have them? No! Did that stop me trying them on given the opportunity? Also no! 😍🥰😂
They are beauts. Someone very lucky will get to give them a forever home.
💚🤍
I did however buy a big furry coat in Maje on the day. It looked amazing with the outfit I had on.
I brought it home, tried it on with my other clothes and it looked awful. I looked so short and squat that I couldn’t stand seeing myself in it.
So Monday morning I was straight on the park and ride to get the train back up to London to take it back.
Jumper from Gyles & George (Princess Diana had this jumper, she is my all time favourite style icon, her and Meghan Sussex, plus my aunties Linda and Angela are) Jeans from M&S, Shoes from Hermes
I returned the coat I’d gone off and tried on loads more.
There are a lot of fun furs around at the moment that give a very cocker-poo dog fur look. And once I noticed that I couldn’t un-see it.
So I tried some other choices, this one was gorgeous, but had already worn in look, so I felt it would age quite quickly.
And then I found this one in Harrods from Marella, and I felt like a million dollars in it!
So I bought her, took her home and actually kept her once I got there!
It feels very decadent, and yes, she is a fun fur, not even a muppet was harmed to make this coat, no matter how Cruella De Vil it may look.
If you are looking for a furry coat this season M&S have got an absolute beaut, at an absolute bargain price.
I’m wearing a lot of trousers of late, the scabs and scars up my legs give me the appearance of a clumsy five year old, so I’m covering them up till they heal properly. 🤣
Shirt from Gap, Trousers from M&S, Shoes from Fendi.
Yes, I have had a hair cut…
Top from Intimissimi, Jeans from M&S, Boots from Ralph Lauren
Top and Jeans from M&S, Shoes from Chanel and Bag from Goyard
Living my best pirate life 💙
Top from The White Company, Shoes from Hermes
Last Friday night Chris and I went to The Eastern Winter Ball in aid of Curve Foundation.
It’s a fabulous do organised by the incredibly talented Kerri Dempsey. How she pulls it together I will never know, but she does such an amazing job.
It’s a fantastic cause, and a really very enjoyable night out too!
I knew I was going to it way back before the summer, so I’ve been planning my outfit since then. Is that tragic? I don’t care. It’s something that brings me joy so I grab joy at all opportunities.
I decided I wanted to wear these shoes, I’ve had them years but they don’t get out much, so I felt they deserved a night out.
So if I had the shoes sorted I needed an outfit for them.
I was in my local discount designer shopping centre in the summer and I found this adorable little bolero in the Monsoon outlet store for £9.50.
Right, so now I had shoes and a bolero, I just needed the something in between.
I knew in my head the sort of style I was after. I searched the length and breath of the internet, I found a few options, they were hundreds of pounds each. And to be honest, I didn’t fancy spending that much. It seemed extreme, which is weird for me as I do tend to spend ridiculous amounts on clothes.
Anyway, on one of my searches I came up with this dress, in Next of all places, for £49.
So my total spend was under £60 for what I feel like is a bloody lovely outfit.
It was such a great night, firstly it was 1.4 miles from home. Does that make a difference? It kind of does yeah. It felt nice to be close to home. I still have a nervousness about bag leaks, even 15 years down the line. So knowing if the worst was to happen I could go home and back within half hour felt very comfortable and comforting.
I caught up with some familiar faces, it was so lovely to see Jasmine and Catie and Ella.
What was really funny was the entertainment act that was booked for the night was one we’d seen before, back at the height of their fame.
They were an ensemble group of lookalikes, they appeared on Britain’s Got Talent in 2010.
We saw the, as was - Chippendoubles, at a black tie do in 2011, in their glory days if you will.
Well, not all the team are still actively working, but the UK office, David Brent (Ricky Gervais alike) and the Gordon Ramsey are still gigging.
So I went over to them to show them photos from way back when.
December 2011…I was still drinking back then so I was lots of fun 🫣🤣🤣
It was really funny for them to see photos from back in the day.
We tried to recreate the original version…
I had such a nice chat with them, hearing about what happened to the rest.
They had a good eight years as a group. Which isn’t bad for a pretty unusual collective.
It must have been an even weirder night for one of my friends, as their uncle actually is Ricky Gervais. 😂😂😂
I’m such a catfish, because although I scrubbed up well for the Friday night, by Saturday morning I was a wreck of a human. And I don’t even drink!
Just a late night and shouting to chat over loud music takes its toll.
But we had such a fun weekend planned, we decorated for Christmas.
Oh, is it too soon for you? That’s okay, I acknowledge your point, and just did what made me happy anyway. 😍🥰😂🎄
I had an idea to make a living room scene in my porch. I love a bit of porch scaping as much as I love table scaping.
I asked Chris if I could borrow the little electric log burner heater from his office for my design, but he declined.
So I went on facebook marketplace and found this little fire. I wanted to plug it in but Chris felt it would be a dangerous thing to do. So I cut the cable off and added orange fairy lights and it looks pretty good!!
It’s a very convincing fire now.
Again, my wants and fancies don’t have to make sense to anyone else, but if someone else happens to find it amusing then that’s a lovely thing, and it feels nice.
Our neighbours little boy came over to product test the snow machine, he gave it a 5 star review 😂😍
I do love shared joy.
My other joy is spending time with these two little critters. Honestly they are an absolute tonic. They make me laugh a lot. It’s been incredibly unexpected to have actual fun with them. I originally thought they be just background noise, but these two make themselves front and centre 🫶🏼
Shirt and Trousers from Ralph Lauren, Shoes from Hermes.
Trouser trousers and more trousers. I seem to have found enough pairs that are loose enough on my belly to not cause leaks or pancaking, and that feels like the epitome of success! :)
Ben text me the other morning to ask if I was free, he’s got some holiday time off so he’s taken it, and as Erin was at work, Ben and I went off for a mummy and Benny day of fun…to Costco, but actually it was really good fun because I spent it with my baby boy. And more to the point, he wanted to spend it with me, so I guess that is the actual epitome of success isn’t it, trousers not causing leaks is pretty fabulous, but your adult child choosing to spend time with you is really the most important thing in life. 🫶🏼
Top from M&S, Cardigan from French Connection, Shoes from Pretty Ballerina’s, Belt from Hermes.
I am getting the house Christmas ready slowly but surely.
The outside is almost done, I’m just waiting to chop down a Christmas tree that I grew for my porch display, and then I will be sorted.
Chris has some madcap ideas for more inflatables, but I’m hoping he reconsiders 🫣🤣
Rest up now Kaf, rest up 🤍
To those going through the trauma of loss, I’m thinking of you, there are no words of comfort, life simply isn’t fair, sending love.
I saw this post about grief on Natalie Woodward’s @natwoodwardofficial instagram.
It sums grief up well 💔❤️🩹
