Do the right thing...

I’ve debated long and hard about sharing this incident as I would never want to put anyone off enjoying life and I 100% stand by my decision to sunbathe in my bikini in public, and it won’t stop me in future either. 

I would say that some etiquette should be beyond the barriers of language and culture. I’d like to think so anyway.

In my last blog I wrote that I happily sun bathe in a bikini in know, at the beach rather than on the high street shopping, time and a place and all that. ;) 

I even stated that no ones going to care, and indeed why would they? 

But on the day that I finally persuaded my sand phobic husband Chris to come to the beach I did indeed wear a bikini. And for the most part no one batted an eye lid....For the most part.  

Chris and I went down to the waters edge, he went in for a swim and I stayed just paddling.  

It was at this time I turned round to see a young woman sitting with her family, doing what appeared to be photographing me or videoing me. I assumed that there was someone behind me because why on earth would a complete stranger video another complete stranger? 

I looked around, to my horror to find that there was no one near me at all, not a single solitary soul, So the only person in her eyeline and camera shot was me!?

Assuming that this wasn’t possible and that I must be mistaken I called Chris over and quietly explained, I assumed he’d say I was being silly and totally paranoid but no, he realised too that this girl was still photographing or video me. We both turned to stare at her. She then realised she’d been caught and quickly put the phone down.  

Blow me down when the older gentleman sitting behind her raised up his camera and picked up where she left off to video me again!! ?

I decided I’d had enough of that nonsense and we walked back to our beach beds. Chris bless him rather chivalrously stepped in front of me and blocked their view of me. Not because I’m ashamed of my bag but just because it’s bad manners to violate someone’s personal space like that. 

I’ve got to say it was incredibly unnerving. Now I’m going to be exceptionally generous and charitable here;

I can only assume they know someone with a colostomy that isn’t body confident. And that they wanted to show them what is possible. I’m really really hoping this was the reason. I can’t see any other possible or reasonable explanation. There were fatter people than me on the beach, some of whom were in thong bikinis. So I don’t think it was about my weight. There were more tattooed women on the beach so I hardly think it was about my one tiny tattoo on my shoulder (a foolish, impulsive addition when I was 17). I’ve got a few rogue black hairs on my chin but I hardly think it classes me as being a bearded lady. 

The only thing that it could be is my colostomy. 

FYI to the non bagged community. If someone is body and bag confident enough to be on the beach carefree and loving life. Try not to bring them crashing down to earth by making them feel like a circus freak in Victorian times, at least the circus paid them to perform! ;) 

I’m open to people approaching me to ask questions etc, I’m actually ok with people having a nosey look at my bag (we all do that to a degree at times if something is a bit different) but I’m not into being filmed or photographed without my consent. It’s a bit like “Up skirting” only I wasn’t wearing a skirt, or much else for that matter. Hahahahaha   

My hope is they were able to help “their friend or relative” (please god let there have been one).  

But coming over and talking to me about it would have been preferable.  

I will always answer any questions posed. I’ve never found a question too personal or intrusive. Knowledge is power. I’m happy to share my experiences.  

I like an all over as possible tan. To achieve this I have to sunbathe in a bikini, often topless (we’re cool with that in Europe, I don’t walk around topless personally, no one needs to see my droopy boobs swishing around my ankles! Hahahahaha, but laying down on my sun bed yes, I will be topless).

I remember my cancer consultant telling me about a young German lady that came back to him to have her temporary ilesostomy reversal to find she literally only had ONE white bit, and that was where her bag was. She was a keen naturist and had spent the summer enjoying her hobby. She was bronzed all over bar her stoma site. 

Now I’m not going to become a naturist any time soon (see above notes re ankle swishing boobs). Hahahahaha But I will be as brown as I can possibly be. And no amount of intrusive videoing will stop that. In fact after we got back to the beds and discussed it, in shock as much as anything else we did go back to the sea...further along the beach this time and I swam and frolicked like mermaid...actually this is a lie as I couldn’t stand upright in the sea and kept being swept away. I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol in nearly two years but you’d have thought I was drunk as a skunk were you to have seen me! Hahahahaha

I did have a great day, inspite and despite of some very discourteous behaviour towards me.

I’m almost positive that this was done just unthinkingly rather than maliciously. Or I’d like to think so at the very least. 

For me body confidence isn’t about believing I have a great body, oh my god I absolutely do not have that! But for me body confidence is accepting what I have and appreciating it beyond measure and being good enough. I’m not a model, I’m a 45 year old cancer surviving mum of two, house wife. I am so grateful to still be here, living this lovely life. Why would I fret about what my outer shell looks like?

It was a monumentous day to get Chris to the beach as it was! And he says we can go again in August on our holiday too!! Oh happy day!


Going for as near an all over tan as I can muster! Hahahahaha  

Just to clarify my stoma isn’t blue, I just added the dot for modesty’s sake. Hahahahaha