December has begun and it's full on party season. We got home from Spain on Thursday last week, I came straight home to unpack the cases and had to instantly repack them in preparation for our weekend away the following day. Much to the disgust of our sons who enquired if we had any intention of spending any time with them...hahahahahahah...shouldn't that be the other way round?
Friday night was my husband's works Christmas ball, it's a pretty big deal for us. I absolutely love it but at the same time I do feel trepidation, no one wants a bag error at any time but all dressed up in your finery, with a room full of people - a lot of whom are your husbands clients, the feelings of insecurity and terror can be overwhelming. I hide my feelings well, I suppress my desire to stay home and hide away, I have done ever since I had my AP resection all those years ago. I have leant to override the terror, for me it's my only option. I couldn't bear to miss out based on a list of what ifs.
This year though was made a little easier for me as the function we were attending in London was a two minute walk across a courtyard to where we were staying for the weekend. Therefore if the worst was to have happened I could quickly and easily go back to my room and change. (In previous years I've had my car parked near the venue as we weren't booked into a hotel, changing one's bag in a car is do able but not desirable.)
This year was my first ever function sober, no, I don't have a drinking problem, I just happen to have a problem with drinking right now, it's been awhile, ever since that birthday party I went to on the 24th September I haven't been able to touch a drop, just the thought of it turns my stomach, literally makes me want to hurl. And even stone cold sober I had such a great night on Friday, I was however stumbling around like a drunk but that's due to this bloody Labyrinthitis still, most annoying but it's much better than it was.
I needn't have fretted the ball was wonderful, not a single mishap was had. It was so nice to see people that I hadn't seen in awhile, probably since last year's christmas do in fact. A lot of Chris's clients have become very good friends and it's just so lovely catching up on such a fun, relaxed, special night out. I felt very confident in my dress too. It really was the perfect find.
Our weekend continued to be just lovely. One bonus of not drinking at the moment means you don't get the weekend stealing killer hangovers, So Chris and I decided to stay in london for the extra night after the do too. It's so lovely to be in London at any time but at christmas it's extra special. We literally shopped till we dropped, we then had dinner at Quaglino's, one of our favourite restaurants in London, I feel very comfortable there, I'd even happily change my bag in the loos, so it's a safe place to my mind. The next day we did more shopping (Christmas sorted in two days, perfect) I think Chris felt a little like a packhorse bless him but it's done now.
With the party season in full swing I am flagging a little but I feel very blessed to have this life and wonderful friends and family to share it with. On that note we as a family - me, Chris, Sam, Ben, my wonderful parents and some of the boys friends went to a pub quiz night on monday...only my second ever pub quiz I might add, we had such a good laugh and on top of that we won!! I still can't quite believe it even now! And then last night we had Chris's birthday dinner at home I cooked for 14, at one point I looked round the table and couldn't believe how lucky we got to have such incredible friends.