Hi, I’m Suzanne, if you’re new here hello and welcome.
I wrote this blog because I’m living a life I didn’t dream was possible before I had my stoma surgery. I truly believed my best days were behind me.
I was wrong, life with a stoma is incredible.
And more importantly to me, dressing well with a stoma is entirely possible if you wish to.
Chris and I had a bit of a UK adventure planned for last week.
We booked to go back to Soho Farmhouse, because, well, because we really enjoyed our previous visits. It’s very chilled out, very quiet and relaxing.
But as he had a few days booked off work I suggested we elongate the time away and add in some other nights away too.
(Now bear in mind the last time I suggested this I said “while we’re in the area why don’t we go to that waterfall in wales we wanted to go to?”…And it turned out that waterfall was another 5 hours drive on from Soho Farmhouse. Well, my previous form clearly didn’t put him off my suggestion because when I said shall we extend our trip he said “yeah, let’s do it!”).
So he booked us into a hotel in Chipping Norton for Wednesday night. We planned to head down there once he finished work on Wednesday night.
But then I thought why don’t I elongate it again, and go down to Bicester designer outlet village (which is actually happens to be down near where we were intending to go, not 5 hours away from it).
So that’s what I did, I booked myself a cheap rail ticket (that network rail card I bought is working out a treat. I bought it a few months back, I said at the time that I had been quite lonely for a while, having not seen people for ages. And that if I wanted to be less lonely I really should make the effort to meet up with people, which I have been doing with my rail card, and cheaper rail tickets).
It occurred to me that if I got the train down to Bicester Wednesday morning, I could have a day of retail therapy, and then Chris could come and meet me there for dinner after work, and then head to the hotel from there.
So that’s what I did and it was fabulous! I had such a great day. Bicester is always a bit hit or miss with the goodies for sale. And this particular occasion was a hit!
I’d saved up some money from my Vinted selling, I had a refund from something I’d bought ages ago, so that added up to a tidy sum.
So I hit the shops hard. 🥰
To get to Bicester by train is a bit of a mission.
Firstly it was a solo train ride and day out ~ nothing new there, how many have I done?
Yet this particular day I was filled with fear of a bag leak.
If I had had the car with me I wouldn’t fret that much at all really. If I had had someone else with me I wouldn’t fret. But there’s something about being alone, away from safety and comforts that puts the fear in me.
I still very much wanted to go, I was excited to go, it’s for fun, no one was forcing me, it was all a choice.
But that said, even now, nearly 15 bag years later, I still have that lingering feeling that today’s the day it’s going to go tits up.
Wednesday was a fuck it day! If it leaks - fuck it - so what? I was saying this mantra to myself over and over. So what. Just that, so what.
At least it wasn’t a five trains, five countries trip this time!
It was a fairly straightforward, if not long journey. Braintree to Stratford, Stratford to Oxford Circus, Oxford Circus to Marylebone, Marylebone to Bicester Village.
I’d ever been to Marylebone station before, and never been on the Bakerloo line before. Big day for firsts!!
There are still things that can impact my mental health and wellbeing. And the fear of bag leaks is top of that list. Or the threat of my stoma supply chain, or rejection, I’m very very sensitive to that.
But in general I’m lucky to be very happy and content. I just need to protect myself as much as I can from the things that do drag me down.
I packed a lot of spares for this adventure and a bag of no ***** to give if something had happened to my stoma.
Top and trousers from Ralph Lauren, Shoes from Kate Spade.
I arrived at Marylebone station to find Bicester Village have their own special waiting room area, they tell you what platform to go to and when, which is such a nice touch.
I went in every single shop, mainly because I was a bit fretful that I’d be there alone until Chris arrived in the evening, and perhaps I’d overestimated how much time I would need.
Do you remember these bags from the 80s? Well Fendi do, only they are charging £400 and £500 for the pleasure now! 😬🫣😂
I went into Self Portrait, having bought the skirt from them in Harrods the other day, but they didn’t have my size in matching jacket in there.
Well, Bicester Self Portrait had it!! So I snapped it up!
I now have the matching set which I am over the moon with.
I wanted a little summer gilet or jacket and I couldn’t quite figure out what it was I wanted.
I saw this beauty in Ralph Lauren - Purple Label - which I know is out of my price range, but I thought I’d give it a go and see…
But at £830…in the sale I gave it a miss.
I tried on a myriad of cream jackets. But nothing was taking my fancy.
Until I tried this one on, which is part gilet part sleeved jacket.
It’s actually perfect for days out in London, because it’s lightweight but warmish. And the sleeves cover my watch and jewellery so I’m less of a target for the pesky street criminal crowd.
I had lunch by myself, a bold move. Usually I wouldn’t bother, but by 4 o clock I realised I’d been so focussed on the day that I hadn’t actually eaten or drank anything at all.
I would not recommend a very green, very runny soup, whilst wearing a cream silk blouse. I mean that I wouldn’t recommend to anyone else, for me I thought it was a marvellous idea!!
It really wasn’t! Hahah
It was delicious though, just terrifying to eat.
I shopped my little socks off. I got so many bargains. I was exhausted carrying it all to be honest.
Chris turned up at 8pm to meet me after work, and I’ve never been so happy to see someone!
The irony is not lost on me that I was offered the Hands Free shopping service when I was at the hub in Marylebone station, but I told them I wouldn’t need it as I was only getting some Penhaligans hand wash! 😬😂
Finally there was someone to carry it all for me, and to have dinner with.
I don’t mind my own company for the most part, but dining alone is not something I excel at.
We then headed to the hotel Chris had booked. Note to self, don’t leave him alone on Booking.com because he can’t be trusted!!
What in the Henry the Eighth is this monstrosity!!?
It gave me the heebie jeebies sleeping, under, what I can only describe as the bed equivalent of a Breville sandwich toaster!! I had nightmares that it was closing in on us!
Much to Chris’s delight 😂
Plus it had the added peril of being on a raised up platform, that had offset stairs and hand rail, my night pees were fun!
The next day was an early start to get over to Soho Farmhouse for our stay.
It’s such a peaceful place. Life just feels different there. It’s a little bliss bubble.
A few people have asked me what it’s like there, and I can only imagine it’s a bit like a very expensive Center Parcs - I’ve not been to one, but it’s probably something like that.
It’s a farm setting with many different restaurants and bars, you gad about on bicycles, swim and gym, and just detach from reality for a while.
It used to be a big celebrity hang out, but less so now. Although there was a celeb there this time.
For some reason, no matter what month we book, it pisses down with rain.
I am addicted to the turmeric lattes and cinnamon rolls from Blake’s cafe there.
Chris did try and warn me that 7 turmeric lattes in less than 24 hours was probably pushing the limits of how much turmeric is good for you. 😬😂 But I can attest to it just washing through you making your wee very fragrant and brightly coloured. 💛
While it was blowing a gale and pouring down with rain I decided to take the opportunity to take the course I have needed to do for my participation in the Guideline committee for EAES.
I not only did the course, I took the tests and passed them too! I’m not going to celebrate too much, because it did take me 3 attempts and a very near nervous breakdown… and a nigh on laptop throwing incident.
I’m not an academic, I’m the complete opposite of an academic. I have dyslexia…and ADHD and ASD (although I’m still waiting for the assessment for those two additions to my acronym CV).
The course was a lecture based learning experience, and then exams at the end of each of the 4 modules…exams that they kept referring to as quizzes!! Much to my distress! I love a quiz, I did not love these quizzes! 🫣😬😂
But it’s done now and I passed, so at least that is something. I am so proud of myself for doing it. It is a real sense of achievement, and I had promised I would do it, and I have.
Although I have requested to never have to learn anything ever again. Hahahah.
I can’t tell you how delighted I was that they have some temporary outdoor changing rooms and toilets, whilst they refurbish the indoor ones.
It was absolutely fabulous for me. I like to go swimming, I don’t love it, but I like enough. But the thing that puts me off is changing my bag after, or going home with a wet bag on. Neither of those options fill me with joy.
But an outdoor changing room and toilets!! Heaven! Absolute perfection.
I have never enjoyed swimming as much as this, or if I’m on holiday and the hotel or villa is a stone’s throw away to go and change in.
They have an indoor and outdoor pool, and we used both, I was giddy with glee that I knew my bag change after wasn’t going to be unpleasant for me, or anyone else come to that.
Bikini from Hunza G.
They had a shop at Soho FH, which sold Hunza G swimwear. They don’t stock the Coverage range that I buy, but they did have the hair scrunchies, so I bought a couple of them to match my cossies.
It’s a very chilled out place so you don’t need to get dressed up for dinner.
So I just did a quick Bicester village buys fashion show for Chris and wore my new jacket and shoes.
Jacket Moncler, Shoes Jimmy Choo.
We decided to have dinner and Pen Yen, a Japanese restaurant. The food is out of this world. Honestly it’s some of the best food I’ve ever had. I was close on licking my plate clean. The waitress jokingly said “I take it you enjoyed that?”.
I did, I really did. I’m salivating thinking about it now.
The next day was actually pretty good weather wise, we were able to get out for bike rides and walks around the farm at least.
Top from Intimissimi, Trousers from H&M, Shoes from Louis Vuitton.
We stay in the Piglet accommodation. I think it’s the cheapest available there, but we absolutely love them, so we book them every time.
They have everything you could possibly want. And they are so cosy and quaint. It’s the closest to camping that I want to get.
And there is an actual farm, but more of a barnyard experience than a working one.
The stays there are some of the best times we’ve had. I think I will always remember how I feel cycling round with Chris, laughing, so much laughter and joy.
Sometimes places make you smile thinking about them, even after you leave.
Friday night it was off to visit Sam, Milly and Zak, we thought as we’d be passing by we’d offer to babysit for them so they could go out and have some couple time.
They are not like us, they are proper outdoorsy and sporty people, so rather than a meal out for two, they opted for a bike ride together - not like me and Chris tootling around on frivolous bikes, on safe pathways or Soho Farmhouse. They went for a proper hilly long road ride.
Chris and I stayed home with Zak and built Minecraft Lego.
Much more our cup of tea. :)
We stayed near theirs at another hotel. This mini trip was a practice run for our European road trip in October.
…and from this practice run, I have learned that I’m not really very good at packing for road trips. So I need to work on that. Especially as we are going to be doing it in my car, which has the least amount of storage space possible.
Everything ended up all over the place, chaos doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Any tips gratefully appreciated.
*********
My bestie and I had been planning a repeat trip to Kew Gardens for a couple of years now. We first went a while back, actually it was pre pandemic, so that’s skewed the timeline because it distorts everything.
But we had been meaning to go back ever since, but life just kept getting in the way, as it seems to.
So we finally planned it for Monday.
Well, we arrived, got on the road train round Kew, went to the palm house, looked at a few herbaceous borders, and left and went to Boodles and Harrods.
So from now on our trips to Kew will just be spent perusing department stores instead.
We’ll just have more Kew not Kew trips. :)
We had a fabulous time. Spending the day laughing is so good for the soul.
Top from Intimissimi, Trousers from Ralph Lauren, Shoes from Hermes.
Probably the quickest visit to Kew ever, but in our defence, nothing had really changed that much.
So we decided to hit some pretty shops for fun.
We found this glorious set (you have to have all 10 together) for a very reasonable 1.5 million pounds 😬🩷😂
I’m part magpie, sparkly things make my heart happy. Even ones I can’t afford. It didn’t stop me trying on a selection of incredibly expensive jewellery ~ a gal can dream. 😂
We didn’t get home till half 10…an hour after bedtime for me 😂
We had such a great day out, time spent with friends is incredibly soothing.
Then Wednesday was one of my favourite events of the summer season.
The Cartier Queen’s cup polo semi finals at Guards Club.
Was I brought up all fancy going to polo? Nope, I’m from Romford babes, but I absolutely love it as an adult.
We discovered a few years back that going to watch polo is very chilled and non fancy pants at all (playing it is, but just watching isn’t).
We started watching it because we had been to a corporate event, and really enjoyed it. So we did a bit of research and joined our local club.
I’m not into horse racing, I like it and all, but not passionately. And I don’t really like or care about any sport.
I’d watch anything live, but have no interest in sports in general.
But polo really does appeal to me. I think we got lucky finding a nice friendly club nearby, so that helps.
I decided to wear this dress for the polo, Chris bought it for me way back in December in Harrods, and I saved it for Wednesday this week.
This dress is the most perfect dress I've got for dressing with a stoma.
The fit and feel is dreamy, and the design of the fake shirt sleeves, that tie around the middle disguises my bag beautifully. It couldn’t be more perfect, it has everything.
Dream dress from Maje.
Shoes from Holland Cooper (for on grass events you need a wedge or chunky heel. It doesn’t look great if you are teetering along in a stiletto on grass. It ruins the elegance of an outfit).
I have some aquamarine jewellery that matched beautifully with the splashes of aquamarine in the dress. I felt this outfit was one of the most well put together looks I’ve come up with.
I loved how it looked and felt on, and I got so many lovely compliments on instagram when I posted my photos that I decided to go back on the Maje website to see if they had a similar style but a different colour, which they did. So I ordered the en route to the polo.
I got incredibly frustrated when my Apple Pay wouldn’t go through, then I had to do it the old fashioned way entering all my details, only to get stuck in a tunnel at the critical moment of purchase…our driver will confirm I was in a right pickle by this point. 😬🫣🤩😂
We finally made it out of the tunnel and the new version of this dress is on its way.
It is a dress that I have to wear with a high heel as I am a bit stumpy, and it does swipe the floor in my bare feet.
A day at the polo wouldn’t be complete without going onto the pitch to reset the divots in between chukkas.
It’s iconic thanks to Pretty Woman, you too can live out your Pretty Woman fantasy…with or without the prostitution, I’m not here to judge, we’re here for a good time not a long time, you do you. 😉 xx
With my very own Richard Gere. ♥️
Chris follows an account on Facebook called “Look at my fucking red trousers” and I was thinking of submitting this photo… or better still, this photo…
Two for the price of one here! ♥️
The food was outstanding this year!
Searcys catered it, and it was probably the best large scale cooperate catering I’ve ever had.
We had a fabulous 3 course lunch, followed by afternoon tea. With the cutest micro bagels I’ve ever seen.
I don’t know why it is, but polo doesn’t attract a similar crowd to horse racing.
No matter where I’ve been to watch the racing there will be pissed up people fighting or puking, sometimes at the same time. I’ve been to loads of different places and it always ends the same.
But you don’t really get that at polo, actually, I’ve never seen anyone visibly shit faced at any polo, ever.
I’ve got to be honest, as much as I used to be that, I don’t really like seeing it (none so pious than the recently converted and all that. 🫣🤩😂).
I love the vibe of the Cartier polo. Fancy clothes, the people watching is dreamy, nice food, lots of action on the pitch.
It’s definitely worth a watch if you ever get the chance.
It was a busy week for us, double events.
Friday nights out are a particular favourite of mine because it feels like an extension to the weekend.
I was able to wear my new outfit from Self Portrait and I was so happy to.
It felt amazing on! It’s so cosy and soft it’s like wearing pyjamas.
There is a slight issue with it being such a soft delicate fabric that it pulls at any opportunity. I’m not sure how long it’s going to last as I got a number of pulls on it on Friday night as it is.
Just as I was just about to get out the car, I said to our driver “I’d better be careful not to flash my pants to everyone” So I attempted a very demure exit.
(*Pants as in the UK word for ladies underwear, not the American word for trousers).
Then as I got out the car my jacket got hooked onto the skirt and lifted it up and exposed my knicks to everyone! Spectacularly!
So that went well, definitely not totally embarrassing at all! 😬🫣
Anyway, despite that, the suit looked and felt, amazing on.
In my Jackie Kennedy Onassis era 🖤
Suit from Self Portrait, Shoes from Manolo Blahnik, Bag from Aspinal of London
We had dinner at Wolfgang Pucks, Cut.
We’ve been to Cut in Beverly Hills, and his Spago in Beverly Hills and Budapest.
It’s fabulous food, huge portions too.
Clearly I have a fetish for green soup.
I don’t eat meat, but I did admire the effort Chris and our friend put in demolishing their Tomahawk steak.
I ordered fish, and it was so big I couldn’t eat it all. But then I had eaten my body weight in bread first.
It’s been a busy couple of weeks, with more to come.
It brings me joy to be able to be having this much fun.
We are literally here for the shortest briefest encounter. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Have a great week, enjoy what life brings, by the time you’re reading this I’ll most likely be in Serbia 🇷🇸
So it’s збогом од мене…
I was so very saddened to hear about the passing of the wonderful Neil J Smart.
He sent me a message to say it wouldn’t be long, but it still was such a sad shock.
A fabulous man who saved so many lives in his career as a colorectal surgeon.
I met him at my first guideline meeting in Athens four years ago and he was so kind and encouraging. A fabulously funny, fun person.
The world is a lesser place without such a big character in it.
My sincere condolences to his family and friends. 🤍
