First off,
I have a Patient Partner opportunity for EAES for anyone who has the relevant experience, and would like to get involved.
We are looking for a volunteer to join us for a guideline meeting for groin hernia.
The consensus meeting will be held in Athens from 20th to 22th March. There will be a few online meetings to attend prior to the in person event.
Please contact me for further details about this project.
Preferably people who live in mainland Europe, but UK citizens are welcome too.
I can pass on the testimonies of previous patient partners who have really enjoyed their experience with us. It feels incredibly rewarding to be a part of these projects.
*Flights, accommodation and food are all paid for.
…And then onto the other side of my life;
I’m currently experimenting with different foods.
A very long time ago I had to give up certain foods because I was having problems with IBS symptoms (It wasn’t IBS as it turned out).
I’d eaten chocolate by the boat load for years, I had a very disordered relationship with food for as long I had free will of choosing what I ate.
It started when I was a young teenager, possibly partly greed I guess, but partly because I felt so different to my peers. It turns out it was all probably caused by a selection of neurodivergent issues which made my school life almost unbearable (back then educational issues weren’t recognised to the extent they are now, and to be honest it’s not even particularly that much better these days).
Anyway, my mum used to hand me my £1 dinner money every morning, and I’d spend it on 5-6 chocolate bars at the newsagents at the top of the road on my way to school. And I’d eat them in quick succession, usually by the time I arrived at the school gates. And then obviously I had no money for lunch. Not that I needed it as I’d consumed so much before 9 am anyway.
This was the beginning of my bingeing, and then followed by periods of starvation. God, it was a fun time in my head back then.
In fact, that cycle of behaviour only ended when I was diagnosed with cancer, so there is at least one positive to come from something so awful.
I haven’t felt the desire to binge or starve ever since I recovered from cancer. I think it shocked me into a new and positive rhythm in all aspects of my life. My body image improved (I know, weird right? The only thing that improved my self esteem and body confidence was body altering surgery…and not in the self improvement plastic surgery sense). I don’t understand how it happened either, but I’m not complaining. Living life in a body you feel confident and comfortable in is so freeing. It’s entirely possible it’s due to the high I have felt ever since I survived. I’ve never felt more vibrant, happy and content than when I came out of surgery, and it’s lasted for the last 15 years.
But before knowing that I had cancer I had terrible gut problems. In my early 20s I started getting terrible stomach pain and diarrhoea whenever I ate certain foods, so that’s when I started eliminating them from my diet.
(I have an awful lot of friends who still eat the foods that give them gut ache, but I didn’t. I simply stopped eating them).
So chocolate, bell peppers, leeks, spinach and coffee were off the menu.
And although I had a very strong pull towards chocolate back then, I gave it up in an instant when I realised it was causing me so much pain and other symptoms…well, I thought it was IBS anyway.
It wasn’t till I was diagnosed with bowel cancer that I realised that I didn’t have food intolerances, I had a tumour intolerance.
*I should have never ever accepted that I had “IBS” without first ruling out other possibilities. There is no point in having regrets, but I do urge others to get fully checked before they accept an IBS diagnosis.
Many years after I had my stoma surgery I decided to add some things back into my diet again.
I eat leeks and spinach with gusto now, but I never went back to peppers (I don’t really like the flavour), and chocolate and coffee, because I couldn’t really see the point of adding in things I had lived without for so long.
But a few weeks ago I was so constipated (the story of my life since my colostomy was added), that I thought I’d give coffee a go.
Anyway, that plan didn’t work as it didn’t do anything for me, I thought about making it a permanent fixture, but as caffeine doesn’t help my over active bladder, I decided that it wasn’t for me.
It was during this recent voyage of discovery that I thought about chocolate.
This time around though I wanted it to help, not hinder me.
Chris and I unprocessed our life a couple of years ago now. We gave up all crappy foods - no UPFs. Only whole foods, cooked from scratch.
So I did a bit of googling and found that dark chocolate has some very good health benefits, including being a good source of fibre. And as I’m the fibre queen these days I was sold!
So I gave 2 pieces of 90% chocolate a go, and I had no gastrointestinal reaction at all. No gripe, no diarrhoea whatsoever, nothing of any note.
I have no wish to add frivolous recreational chocolate back into my diet, it wouldn’t add any nutritional value, and it’s very easy to overeat it.
Besides, in the 28 years since I last ate milk chocolate it’s gone right downhill. Back then my chocolate of choice would be Cadbury’s dairy milk in its various forms. Lots and lots of it.
It’s pretty much sugar and palm oil now. It only has 20% cocoa solids.
With that in mind, what would be the point of adding crappy chocolate into a really healthy diet of good quality whole foods?
Conversely there are huge benefits of choosing dark chocolate for health reasons, firstly 30g of 90% chocolate has 5 grams of fibre.
But it also contains lots of other vitamins and nutrients on top of that.
So my day starts with a fibre boost!
(I really wish people would ease up on their obsession with their protein goals, and put the same passion and energy into their fibre intake).
Walnuts, almonds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, blueberries, dates, and any other fruit I have in the fridge, and now 20 grams of 90% chocolate.
And a few weird things have happened since;
1, I don’t even think about eating again until 1 or 2 in the afternoon, and even then I’m not exactly wanting a meal. I have fruits and vegetables. And it satiates me, somehow the addition of dark chocolate has suppressed my appetite.
2, the hot chocolate addiction I have had for the last 2 years has gone. I don’t even think about it. Bearing in mind I wasn’t even able to focus on my day if I didn’t have a plan to add in a Costa hot chocolate at some point, even during the heatwave I was still obsessive about it.
I have a few friends who say that they can’t stand dark chocolate because it’s so bitter, it’s probably an acquired taste. And tastebuds have been trained to like ultra sweet foods. But having been out of the chocolate game for nigh on 30 years I can honestly say I enjoy it. It’s rich and sumptuous. It is a strong flavour, but it’s pleasant. And as I have a fixation on foods that heal, it has a positive feeling for me.
A Quick, easy and tasty way to start the day, add in some Greek yogurt and you are golden.
*Food is not a reward or a punishment. Food is to be enjoyed, appreciated and celebrated.
If we can eat food comfortably, without pain or suffering, then we are winning at life.
Same thing goes for our bodies too. ♥️
Right, so onto the weekend…we had Christmas.
Actual Christmas. All the gifts, food, fun, family and festive frolics.
Christmas for the non religious is a festival of joy. A time to get together with family and friends. It can be any day you choose.
Sam, Milly and Zak have their Christmas Day together just their family unit, and that’s absolutely fine with us, because we had similar traditions ourselves.
But alongside that I want to have the experience of Christmas with all of us together, my parents, and our children, their partners and Zak.
So we have an extra, and early celebration.
We used to do it in between Christmas and new years, but it would often have to be cancelled, or rescheduled due to illness.
Christmas being the time for spreading germs as well as joy to the world.
My health anxiety ramps up considerably during the festive season, because of the amount of calamitous Christmases we’ve had over the years.
The weekend gone was real Christmas to me.
I set up a Santa’s Workshop in the She Shed for Zak to do some crafting.
I had this idea a while back, and thought it would make a great sentimental decoration keepsake.
It turned out beautifully, far better than I had imagined in all honesty.
He loved doing a bit of arts and crafts, and Sam and Milly got a beautiful Christmas decoration to take home, and Chris and I got one to keep here too.
I can imagine getting them out year after year. I think it will have such a special place in our hearts well into Zak’s twenties, thirties and forever.
It’s such a simple, fairly inexpensive way to make a memento to treasure.
The nutcrackers were £8 and the paint £6 from The Works.
Then Saturday was Christmas Day!
So I needed a Christmas Day in the living room outfit!
Top and Skirt from Ralph Lauren, Shoes from Aquazzura, Bag from Dior
Dining at home is one of the best things to do with a stoma. Nothing is a problem if I can just pop upstairs and change my bag.
It’s one of the best ways to reintroduce yourself to socialising when you have had stoma surgery. It can be a bit daunting to go out for a meal.
Food is so important socially and culturally, it’s incredibly difficult to have to sit it out due to worry about bag issues.
But inviting people over takes all the fear out of eating.
Instagram and TikTok have been rife with the Ralph Lauren Christmas aesthetic.
I think it just means classy Christmas really, and RL has a choke hold on being seen as classy and elegant.
I decided to do a Ralph Lauren inspired Table scape for this meal.
My version is bold and maximalist. A table scape filled to the brim with character, and classy clutter.
Even without the table set up for dinner it’s very beautiful. ♥️
It turned out better than my hopes and expectations. Firstly I enjoyed creating it from nowhere, just an image I had created in my head.
It’s on display on both of my instagram accounts if you want to see more.
I think it was a real feast for the senses;
Jug from @klimchistudio
Rechargeable lamps, water glasses and cutlery from @neptunehomeofficial
Blue tableware collected from TK Maxx, car boot sales and my friend Laura’s lovely mum.
Table cloth and napkins from Temu (surprisingly good quality) and a bargain price of £17, especially as my table is so long. This table cloth was 320cm and fit perfectly.
Deer and votives from @mrsaliceshop
Fake candles and tea lights from @amazonuk
I can’t use real candles 🕯️ anymore because I have the budgies, their tiny little lungs can’t cope with even a little smoke. But also fake candles are super safe when you have children, or super clumsy like me.
And on
the_great_escape73
I very fortunately don’t have to cook Christmas dinner at any time, and never have. Chris has cooked it every year since we were married, his one day of the year to cook.
Sam used to join in and help him, and now he’s a grown up and very talented in the kitchen he cooked this one…Erin is cooking on 25th December at ours.
I know, I’m a jammy little bugger aren’t I!
🥰🫶🏼🎄🎅🏻🤩
Sam cooked a delicious roast dinner, with Erin collaborating on the most impressive Yorkshire puddings, it was heaven.
All in all it was a fantastic meal thanks to their incredible efforts (And I didn’t have to get involved at all, so I was delighted!).
The whole day was wonderful, with special memories made.
If you are looking for something for an over 5 year old’s gift, of any gender, then I can’t recommend this toy enough!
It’s the Dinosaur egg from Primal Hatch, I saw it on an America content creator’s page, and I managed to get one on Amazon. It’s not cheap, but I do feel it was worth the money.
You pull a tab, and the egg starts to rock, then the dinosaur starts to hatch, with actual amniotic fluid goo too! It’s very realistic…as far as a dinosaur hatching can be I guess.
Zak loved it, but actually we were all taken by it too. It’s so clever.
He was so adorable, firstly he said an automatic and genuine thank you with every gift he was handed.
But when he saw the dinosaur hatch he said “That was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen when he was borned!”
I’m thinking of buying one and doing a table scape around it, it’s magical for adults too. 🤩
Now Chris hasn’t historically gotten full marks on his Christmas gift giving - not now - but back in the day.
Some years, way back when, have been legendary, and hilarious, to the point some of my friends still bring up some of the most memorable ones.
I think the wrapped empty box of the Nokia phone battery (Xmas 1993) was a particular highlight (he gave me the battery to use before Christmas, but for reasons unknown he wrapped up the empty box) (a word to the wise - don’t do this). 🫣😂
And The Dymo label maker year was a doozy too.
(Thankfully for me his gift giving has improved immensely and immeasurably with time).
I can’t complain though, because when the boys were young he liked to go out and buy the presents with me, so he knew what they were getting, not like those dads whose first glimpse of what the kid’s have is on Christmas Day itself, and he also liked to buy a little something for the boys from just him too.
And this year he extended that to all of us.
He bought the table presents for everyone. And they were so thoughtful and perfectly chosen I nearly cried. They had clearly been chosen with great thought, care, enthusiasm and love for each person.
He melts my very cold dead-ish heart. 🥰
Christmas at The Doré’s was everything I had hoped for. 🎄
The next day was Fake Boxing Day, and Chris’s actual birthday.
That man is the most amazing person to have ever walked the planet. I don’t have enough words to describe how incredible he is. I’m not completely convinced he’s actually human to be honest. No one even comes close to him. I may be biased, and a tad obsessed with him, but he is otherworldly.
We had a very chilled morning, with him and Zak building Lego, then a Sunday lunch in a local pub, followed by a chilled afternoon, not doing much. Which is exactly what he wanted.
It’s a bit tricky to buy for him, because anything he wants he buys for himself and anything he hasn’t bought I can’t afford, and nor can he probably.
Lego is the safest option. If you think my Klimchi glassware collection is out of control, you should see Chris’s Lego collection.
My dream come true for the last 32 years. 🫶🏼
I got dressed with the damp cold day in mind.
Top from Intimissimi, Trousers from M&S, Scarf and Shoes from Hermes.
If I could wish for one thing, it would be a sunny, cold and frosty Christmas, not a wet drab one (oh, and peace on earth, but I think that one’s a given).
I did chuckle when Ben showed me his new tattoos, he asked for money for Christmas for them, and I jokingly said I’d only give him the money for it if he had a “Mum” tattoo…and he only went and did it! 😍🥰😂😂
I asked Sam if he wanted one too, to which he replied “absolutely completely and utterly I do not! I couldn’t want something less if I tried!”
😂😂😂
So Ben has become my favourite child now! 😂😂🫣
It’s super cute, and I can hardly complain about him having so many tattoos.
I had a tattoo at 17. I used fake ID to get it done.
I remember thinking I was going to have to tell my parents I’d had one done, as they were bound to see it at some stage as it’s on my shoulder after all.
Anyway, I was home alone with my dad, and it seemed like the safest option 🤩😂
…I started the conversation with…
“Dad, I’ve done something really bad and you’re going to be so disappointed and angry, and I think you’ll be so cross about it, and I’m really really scared to tell you”
Laying it on with a trowel.
He said “what?!? What is it!?!”
To which I responded “I got a tattoo”
And he said “Oh thank god for that I thought you were pregnant!”
And that ladies and gentlemen is how you break news to people, build it up to seem really bad, and then nothing seems that much of a problem at all. 🤩
I may not know much, but I can manipulate myself out of bother 😂😂😂.
Also, I find if you come clean about things straight away, it tends to take the sting out the tail. I’m not one who doesn’t admit wrong doing.
I find admitting, and profusely apologising works a treat.
Also the irony wasn’t lost on me that I had a tattoo done…well before I ever did anything that could get me pregnant. 😂
After the birthday lunch we just came home for chilling and digesting, when one of our friends, Matt, turned up with a card and a pressie for the birthday boy.
I love the idea of people feeling free to pop by at anytime. I don’t have that fear that some people do of unexpected guests. It’s what makes a house a home for me, pop by, come visit, don’t be a stranger ♥️
Anyway, seeing Matt and Chris playing on Sam’s VR headset made me remember that we hadn’t done our annual trip to the local residential street that goes all out with Christmas lights (they raise money for charity each year).
So I called Kim (Matt’s wife) and said come over and we’ll all go to see the lights together.
Zak and their daughters are a similar age and get along really well. Which is lovely because he doesn’t have cousins here.
Zak loved it, Kim & Matt’s girls loved it. We loved it! It felt so gloriously Christmassy.
Then it was time for Sam, Milly and Zak to head off home.
And Chris and I settled down to watch telly with a zero alcohol Guinness and a tub of Twiglets, what could be more Christmassy than that. 🤩😂🎄🎅🏻
I do feel incredibly lucky. Lucky to be alive and well. Lucky to be content. Lucky because we have so much joy in our lives.
We have one more bit of festive fun coming up and then we will hunker down and wait for the other Christmas Day to arrive. 😍🥰🎄🎅🏻♥️
Have a wonderful advent too! 🎄
Keep well, keep safe. Much love x