I’ve had some really lovely, thoughtful messages from people, with both compliments and kind concern about my recent change in body shape.
So to clear that up, I am absolutely fine. And in perfect happy health.
But before Christmas I decided to make some changes, with no actual goal or expectation set. Just a case of make the changes and see what happens.
This is not a before or after grand reveal, there is no point to making comparisons. All I’m doing is living well, and hopefully increasing my chance of longevity.
I have a very long standing relationship with disordered eating.
Both starvation and bingeing in varying degrees since I was about 14 or 15.
Therefore when it came to finding a new way of eating I had some trepidation of getting lost in that quagmire of poor nutrition, and an even worse relationship with food.
When I started this new habit of cutting out all Ultra Processed Foods, and reducing/eliminating all processed carbs, which contain little to no fibre, I wanted it to be the beginning of a healthy positive outlook when it comes to food.
The diet industry is dangerous and insidious. And I don’t want to add my voice to the already saturated market of making people feel guilty about food and eating.
You do you, always.
So I will say this, I eat well, I eat whole foods. I have been using a calorie deficit (portion control) to lose weight. With a focus on calories over the course of a week, rather than a day. Some days I eat more than others, which means we can actually live a life we enjoy, rather than being a slave to a strict regime, which we wouldn’t, and couldn’t stick to.
I’m in a very fortunate position, because I have loved my body since my stoma surgery, this may seem weird, but my body survived that which came to kill it.
I’m very happy with how it looked, or more importantly, I felt free of the weight of my assumption of other people’s expectations of me.
I love what I see in the mirror because I’m here, I may well not be whole, but I’m here and loving life.
I felt and feel comfortable in my skin, I’m delighted to be alive.
But my hernia was becoming more and more problematic, both painful and pronounced. Clothes were becoming more difficult to conceal and cover it, my boobs were so big and heavy they were weighing me down, so I decided to see if some healthy eating, and slow weight loss would help. And it has.
What changes have I made?
Well, apple cider vinegar to start the day, which is great for building good gut bacteria. Fibre and gut bacteria are a biggie for me for obvious reasons.
I started on Symprove, which is great, but expensive. So I swapped to store bought organic apple cider vinegar instead.
Whole fat versions of food. No low fat gunk;
Full fat milk, Greek yogurt, cheese and butter ~ the full fat version, in a smaller quantity.
Lots of fruit and veg. Avocados, bananas, blueberries, strawberries, pears, apples, broccoli, Brussels, veg, veg veg ~ lentils and pulses too.
And at least 2 kiwi a day to keep constipation at bay. It takes a while to work, but it really does help.
The unadulterated, unprocessed versions of everything, or the least processed version thereof.
Whole foods, in meals made from scratch. High protein. Fibre fibre fibre.
Whole wheat pasta (yes, it’s processed, but it has fibre)
Brown rice
Potatoes with skin on
Sweet potatoes with skin on
Sourdough (no pre sliced wrapped bread)
Nuts (Brazil & walnuts are my fave)
Milled flax seed
Fish
Chicken
If you read the labels of everything you pick up in the supermarket I think you’ll be surprised to see how much is added in unnecessarily, with additives we don’t understand or can barely read. Which seems crazy when we can easily make it from scratch, adding nothing nasty.
I’m in a fortunate position that I don’t drink alcohol, and I can’t eat chocolate, so I appreciate life is a lot simpler and easier for me.
I used to think it was impossible to get 5 portions of fruit and vegetables in every day. There just seemed to be no place for it in between meals and snacks…then it dawned on me that the fruit IS the snack. And really, it’s as simple as that. I look at what I’m eating and why.
I feel so much better. I’m bright eyed and bushy tailed.
I’ve added a glass of full fat cow milk before bed and I’m actually sleeping slightly better too.
And I’m actually emptying the food that I eat out, without it backing up for days. Whole foods digest better.
I’ve found that if you give it a few months, once you stop eating crap food, you stop craving crap food. Crap food is a vicious cycle.
Mostly I have full fat Greek yogurt, with blueberries and raspberries, topped with flax seed for breakfast.
But I am partial to avocado or smoked salmon on sourdough, with scrambled eggs, so I might have that for breakfast or lunch, or I make my own soups and freeze it in portions.
I buy fresh sourdough, slice it, portion it, bag it up and freeze it. Which saves eating the whole loaf in one go (classic me) or throwing it away because it’s gone stale (also classic me).
I cook from scratch every night.
And when we go out for dinner I’ll choose whole foods like chicken or fish (I don’t eat any other meat other than chicken or fish), with some veg.
No junk food.
No UPFs.
Loads of fruit and vegetables.
I’m no expert. And I’ve fallen down many times before. So we’ll see if it’s something we can maintain long term. I say we, because Chris came on this journey of discovery with me.
He’s lost 22lb so far and feels so much better. Even with his broken arm.
The main thing is, I’m eating well, keeping up intake of important key nutrients - fibre, calcium etc etc.
And my clothes fit better. Yay!
Our social life revolves around love and food, and love of food. And that has been able to continue.
Anyway, enough of talking about what goes in me, let’s just get back on track and show what I’ve been up to, and what I was wearing while doing it.
Mostly Chris and I have been snuggled up in duvets because we ran out of heating oil, due to a faulty gage telling us we still had some left. Our house is a converted Victorian school, it was never designed to be lived in, and has no insulation, so when the heat goes off it’s cold, really really cold.
It feels almost damp it’s so cold. So my fashion choices for that week were mainly thermals. :)
We finally got an oil delivery, then the boiler refused to work. But a lovely engineer came and fixed us good as new.
Having a good amount of resilience comes in handy in general, but especially when you have to wear hats to bed to keep warm. Hahahaha
If you ever wonder why I write my blogs, wonder no more.
The whole purpose was to show what was possible to wear with a stoma, because pre op, I didn’t think I’d ever get past baggy tracksuits and oversized T’s.
There is nothing wrong with baggy trackies, if that’s what you are comfortable and happy wearing. But I didn’t want it to be an enforced dress code because I had no choice.
I have been pleasantly surprised and impressed with how my wardrobe has turned out over the years. I feel I dress well. I’m happy with my choices. I get compliments so it must be something that others think too.
I imagine without having a stoma, and I know I felt this way, people would assume dressing well with one wouldn’t be possible.
I liked to think that a gift I can pass on, would be reassurance that it’s all going to be okay. A stoma life is just a new normal. A different normal, but not necessarily a negative experience.
It was Mother’s Day in the UK on 10th March, so I popped over to visit my parents with Ben on the Saturday. I took Ben with me as a surprise for my mum. Which was lovely for her.
Top from Zara (very old), Trousers from H&M (in NYC), Shoes from Chanel (NYC), Bag from Dior, Scarf from Hermes
While we were there my brother popped round to visit her too. Which must have been very nice for her as we haven’t got together in the one place for years and years.
So it was a very happy Mother’s Day for my mum.
She did make me cackle, she looked up at us whilst this photo was being taken and said “oh look, I made such tall children”
…I’m 5’ 3 and a half… 🤣
Then on the Sunday, Ben and Erin had arranged to take me out for the day and lunch in one of my favourite restaurants.
Top from Aimee Leon Dore in NYC (we bought it for Ben as a big treat, he loves this brand, this hoodie cost an eye watering amount, anyway, we bought his usual size, but it’s way too small for him. So hello! I now have a new hoodie, as their London store wouldn’t let us exchange it for a size bigger).
Trousers from Ralph Lauren, Boots from Dior.
I added a coat from Burberry and an umbrella, because it hasn’t stopped pissing down in months.
The Thali from Madhus Brassiere in Harvey Niks is heaven. Ten out of ten, would recommend.
I’d also recommend spending rainy days with family in London too.
I had a very happy Mother’s Day weekend.
I have been able to wear more trousers, with less constipation for a few weeks now, and I absolutely love it.
Yes, the risk of leaks is still there, but I haven’t had any. Which adds to my confidence.
Below: Top from Ralph Lauren, Trousers from H&M.
Top from The White Company, Leggings from New Look, Shoes from Pretty Ballerina’s.
Cardigan from Ralph Lauren, Top from TK Maxx, Jeans from M&S, Boots from Dior
Top and Jeans from M&S, Shoes from Jimmy Choo.
Trousers, trousers, trousers and no leaks so far. Am I playing with fire? Maybe! But so far so good.
This weekend was pretty chilled out.
Top from Ralph Lauren (petite from NYC, we just don’t have as much access to RL petite in this country. I have no idea why, it’s not like we’re a nation of giants), Jeans from M&S, Shoes from Chanel, Bag from Goyard.
We headed to London, we shopped, we ate, we shopped a bit more, then ate a bit more. It was a perfectly balanced day. :)
Pasta Evangelists is another firm favourite of ours.
But even after that we still needed a little sit down and snacket.
We decided to stop at the restaurant in the basement of Harrods, who as it turns out, are doing fabulous fresh made hot cross buns.
I had mine with a turmeric latte. Because sometimes I want to pretend I’m a grown up, and have something different to my normal hot chocolate order. ;)
I bought a new dress for summer, because I’m ever hopeful that we’ll have one. Chris bought himself some bits, which is so nice to see, because he treats me like I’m a queen, he definitely should treat himself too.
We had a great day. I felt so confident and comfortable in jeans. Which is a whole new experience for me. I was able to wear a very stretchy fabric jeggings before now, but not jeans jeans.
Sunday Chris had some work to get on with, and I had a project I was working on in my brain.
Then we decided to head to the seaside for fish and chips.
My actual order is Fish (batter removed) and mushy peas. But that doesn’t roll off the tongue so easily.
We sit and eat, and watch the sea. And it’s honestly one of my most favourite things to do.
What else have I been up to? Well, spring is a great scape season.
With that in mind. I have two scapes currently on the go. One in the house, one in the shed.
I’m shit at all arts and crafts, the genes for it passed me by. But I found table scaping doesn’t require any artistic ability at all, just shove it on, pile it high, and bobs your uncle, you have a masterpiece.
I’ve also hung out my Easter choccy holder for the delivery drivers. And it seems to be very popular this year with the rate it’s going down. :)
And the shed got its Easter update too…
No cutsie scape would be complete without Dolly…
….what??…are you saying that you don’t have a life size sheep hanging around for Easter decorating?…how odd! 😬😂
You know I said something was building in my brain?
Well, my brain is a bit weird, it used to be a source of great sadness, frustration and insecurity…but now I celebrate it and go wherever it takes me.
And this week’s hyper-fixation was candles…and the storage thereof.
So I set about finding a way to make my chaotic candle storage more accessible and peaceful in my head…
Et voila!
Take an ordinary looking cupboard, and give her the wings so she can fly…
Hahahahahahaha
Look at that perfection.
I found some fridge wine racks on Amazon, and they are perfect. I did mis measure so they are now wedged in place. But they are doing exactly what I needed them to do.
Also, I might have hyper fixated on candles, as well as candle storage ~ I tend to buy them wherever I am in the world.
This is a pretty well travelled dinner candle collection…I bet you didn’t have that on your list of things you’d hear today. ;)
America, Iceland (the country, not the shop), Greece, Spain, India, anywhere that has interesting candles, I’m bringing them home.
I think Easter time in Greece is the peak for candle buying. They are sensational. Often they are works of art themselves.
If something makes you truly happy do more of it…unless it’s crack or something, but even then, you do you babes. Xx
Keep well. Stay safe. Love life xx