17 weeks till gran time...

We started the weekend off with a trip to the cinema Friday night. Sounds like a perfectly normal event, apart from the fact that cinema’s fill me with dread. I’ve never been the biggest fan to start with. But since my colostomy operation I find the thought of sitting there surrounded by strangers that could hear my stoma passing wind at any given moment absolutely terrifying. It’s literally the one thing since I started my stoma life that I have never made peace with. It’s out of my control and therefore, nerve wracking. 

Most people would probably assume there’d be too much background noise in a movie for that to be a concern, believe me, it’s only when you’re terrified of public silence that you learn just how quiet some films and life in general can go.  

But Chris loves the cinema experience, and as he’s the best husband in the world (he’s a regular reader so I’d better say nice things) I suck it up and go along too.  

I think the last time we went was over the Christmas holidays. So I was ready for my 10 monthly visit.  

Anyway, it was fine, I tend to avoid eating in there so I can reduce the chance of stoma noise as much as possible, and I hold my hand over my stoma in an attempt to muffle any noise. I truly have no idea if I actually achieve this but it’s just a reflex action now. 

We saw A star is born. Without a doubt an absolute cracker!! And that’s coming from a cinema-phobe. If they don’t win Oscars for that then there is something very wrong in the world. It was fantastic. Although I’ve never been a fan of Lady Gaga before, she absolutely blew me away and Bradley....well there aren’t the words to describe him. Totally worth the anxiety! Praise indeed! Hahahahaha, I can see them using that as a slogan on the bill boards! “A star is born!” ~ Totally worth the anxiety - Suzanne Doré


Then Saturday was a really very special day. Sam and Milly invited Chris and I and Milly’s parents to the Baby Show at Olympia...now don’t get over excited like I did, it turns out they don’t actually sell babies there, so that was a little disappointing! Hahahahaha   

Chris and I drove up and parked in the car park underneath The Royal Gardens hotel in Kensington, it’s only a mile from Olympia exhibition center, which means we had the car on hand to load up with all the goodies Sam and Milly bought. 

What to wear for a casual day out and then on to a fancy meal out in the evening. Well that’s the beauty of having the car up there with you.  

We wore our casual comfy clothes to the baby show and then changed at the boot (trunk) of the car for a glammed up night out.  


Jumper From TK Maxx, Vest top from Phase Eight, Jeggings from Next and Shoes from Yeezy.  


As we were only coming in from Essex we got to Olympia far earlier than the others, so we decided to go in early. Chris and I were greeted at the door by a wonderful attendant who said “welcome baby mummy, welcome baby daddy!” 

Hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahaha hahahahahahahahah....etc  

I broke it to her kindly that we were visiting the show as grandparents rather than parents to be...she was a tad embarrassed and at first I was delighted that she thought I looked young and virile enough to conceive...and then it dawned on me that she probably just assumed I was pregnant because I’m so fat....I wanted to go back and clarify but Chris wouldn’t let me! Hahahahaha  

The show was great, all manufacturers of every baby product you could think of were there, some necessary, some handy, and some monstrous (making art from your babies umbilical cord, and or placenta is and always will be unacceptable and gut wrenching to most hahahahaha).

The handy thing is you can try out all the prams and car seats and other baby gadgetry. 

Sam and Milly only have 17 weeks till bubs arrives, which is super exciting, they bought a few bits and bobs, and a lot of the stalls give away freebies or goody bags. Which is always a pleasure. 

I found exactly what I was looking for buggy wise, as Sam and Milly will be living down on the south coast I wanted them to have a buggy available here so they didn’t have to lug their big pram with them. They’ll have all the other baby paraphernalia with them and they don’t have a massive car. 

I wanted a buggy that lies flat for a new born but folds up small enough to fit in my car, the joy of owning a car with the storage area in the bonnet is it’s quite a small space, you have to get creative Hahahahaha. 

I found just the thing I was after from a company I hadn’t heard of before called Roma...and for a lot less than I had expected to pay. It was worth going for that find alone!


Look how tiny it folds down to, perfect for my car and perfect for Sam and Milly to take on flights. *Photo taken from Roma’s website as I forgot to take a photo of it folded (just in case you thought Chris has gone for a full face lift and Botox).

The brand ambassador for Roma is none other than fellow Essex girl ~ Amy Childs, from Towie, who was an absolute treasure. 


No harm in a bit of celebrity bothering while you’re out for the day! Hahahahaha  

All purchases made we parted company from Sam, Milly and family. They headed to see Mousetrap on the Westend and Chris and I headed for Bluebird, a rather lovely restaurant in Chelsea that we’ve always loved even before it appeared regularly on Made in Chelsea, it’s still great in spite of that. 

We headed back to our car to drop off all the goodies, where I changed my clothes and my bag, yes, I changed my colostomy bag at the boot of my car. Unpalatable to some I appreciate and probably not ideal for ileostomy owners. But I personally find it most agreeable and preferable to stinking out public toilets.  


Top from Ralph Lauren, Jacket from Burberry, Jeggings from Next, Boots from Russell and Bromley...and bag from Mulberry. It’s actually my make up bag because I forgot to take an evening bag with me. But it worked perfectly well to hold my stoma spares and my phone.  


I’m loving tops with interesting backs these day. When the fronts a bit of a mess why not accentuate the positive. From behind I look cracking hahahahahah. 


Unbeknown to me Chris has tried to improve on our day out even more by ringing Ben to see if he could stay with our dog over night so we could have a ‘spontaneous’ night in a hotel.  

Ben was on board but when Chris rang the hotel that we were parked under all they had available was a twin room...if your going to pay for a 5 star stay you want to at least be in the same bed as the person you went with...or maybe not..what ever floats your boat...no judgment here hahahahaha  

I was a bit gutted not to be able to get a room, I really love staying there, it’s right next door to Kensington palace and gardens, just down the road to some incredible shops and I had the best pancakes ever when we ordered room service for breakfast last time we stayed. 

And the reason I can contemplate a spontaneous night away when I have some special needs you may well ask - well I have a very well stocked “planned spontaneity kit” with me at ALL times, you just never know when you’ll need it so I carry it always.  

Inside contains; spare bags, removal wipes, nappy sacks, spare knickers, HRT tablet, make up, make up remover, moisturiser, deodorant, hair conditioner, a comb, toothbrush and paste, an organic decaf tea bag and perfume.  

I took it to London a few weeks back when Chris and I went to see The Mousetrap, whilst there I suggested we stay up in London the night, to which Chris said “oh did you pack me some contact lenses then?” Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! And some expletives!! 

The poor man is almost blind!! I did suggest that it wouldn’t be a problem, and that the next day I could just guide him round London, but he didn’t seem keen or very trusting if I’m being totally honest. Something about I’d get side tracked and leave him abandoned somewhere. :0

So now, my Planned Spontaneity Kit contains spare contact lenses...will we ever get to use the kit? Well who knows? But it’s there if we ever find the perfect time for spontaneity hahahahaha.


Ok, so the spontaneous night away didn’t work out this time, or last time come to that, but when it does, oh boy are we prepared!!

Dinner at Bluebird was perfect and as fantastic as ever, never had a bad meal there in all the years we’ve been going, although one time I went, due to a slight misunderstanding with the waiter I accidentally ordered a roast dinner for two people all to myself...I’ve never seen so much bloody food in all my life. Hahahahaha 


And they do alcohol free larger!! Happy days!  

And just to complete an already wonderful weekend, and proof were it needed that I really do have the most wonderful, kind, totally scrumptious husband in the world...


He surprised me with a huge stack of pancakes in bed at home on Sunday morning! total and complete heavenly perfection. I’m going to keep him you know, 25 years in and he’s still full of surprises. 



* and if you’re wondering yes I did go to Harvard....on a day trip from NYC last year.