Flying solo, literally, well apart from the crew and all the other passengers, for the first time in my life I've done something, anything come to that by myself.
There was no particular reason or point to it, I just wanted to see if I could. When you've been deathly ill and depended on other people for even the most basic of needs you can lose a part of yourself, your dignity certainly and it can strip you of your bravery. That said, I will always be grateful for the nursing care I was given, by the professionals and my husband alike.
In the weeks, months and years following my treatment I pretty much regained my sense of self, but every now and then I like to push through my comfort zone. Much in the same way I decided to learn to ski a few weeks ago at the snow zone at Milton Keynes. I'm thankful that my trip to Spain went better than that disaster of a day. Suffice to say, skiing isn't for me! ;)
Sometimes it's not about accomplishing something, sometimes it's just about giving it a go to tick it off, Testing my nerves to see if I could do it. I packed all my usual colostomy stuff, plus loads of extras, no idea why, after all it's not like I usually travel with a Beyoncé sized entourage that carry all my ostomy needs for me, but I just felt more comfortable embarking on the journey over loaded with supplies.
To say I'm not a great flyer is a bit of an understatement, one year many moons ago my lovely husband booked us a surprise trip to the Waldorf Astoria in New York as our anniversary present, he thought that the excitement would over power the fear....it didn't sadly, we got to Gatwick airport but I just couldn't get on the plane. :(
As my parents were babysitting the boys anyway mum said to drive somewhere for a long weekend away, so we tootled off down to Swindon and stayed a "delightful" road side hotel off the M4 having blown his budget on the whole NYC extravaganza.
My fear of flying only abated after our son's and my cancer diagnosis's, literally NOTHING seemed as scary after that, alas hubs has never rebooked the Waldorf trip, can't say I blame him either! :)
So, although not that groundbreaking or astonishing, making a solo trip to Spain was a big deal for me, everyone kept advising me to sink a few bubbles at the airport but as I was picking up a hire car to drive to the villa it wasn't possible, besides, quite apart from the illegality, I'm not the best driver in the world on my normal UK roads, I hardly think a drink would've improved my journey on Spanish ones!
The only option open to me was to just Woman up and get on with it! It was a great trip, very successful, it's given me the strength to believe I can do anything if I put my mind to it.
Churros by the beach for breakfast, the peace and quiet and the beautiful scenery were reward enough to make up for a nervous flight over.